'Tis So Much Joy! 'Tis So Much Joy!

2008 resolutions? I think i need to have that. Few weeks back i found one of my notebook. I was flipping through pages and a page caught the attention of my eyes. Can't help but to smile. Somewhere in 2002, I put down a few things i want to achieve and totally forget all about it. These were the targets :-
a. Complete my ACII
b. Pursue MBA
c. Become an Assistant Manager
d. Have underwriting knowlegde
e. Leadership skills
g. Get married

Yes!! I have achieved most of what being listed down except for the last. It feels so nice, so content. A triumph. A good deed to myself. Perhaps this year i should map out what are my future targets...the last one without exception. winks. winks

How about you guys? Anything in mind?

Climb Till Your Dream Comes True - Helen Steiner Rice,

often your task will be many,
and more than you think you can do..
often the hills insurmountable, too..
but always remember..
the hills ahead are never as steep as they seem,
and with faith in your heart, start upward
and climb 'til you reach your dream.
for nothing in life that is worthy
is ever too hard to achieve
if you have the faith to believe..
for faith is a force that is greater
than knowledge or power or skill
and many defeats turn to triumph
if you trust in god's wisdom and will..
there is nothing that god cannot do,
so start out today with faith in your heart
and climb 'til your dream comes true.

If there were dreams to sell, What would you buy?

Of late life been pretty busy...keep me occupied. I like being around with people i love..sharing witty stories that tickle your heart and made you burst with laughters. Because once at home by myself, the loneliness haunts and mind boggling questions will definitely come across my mind. What will become of me? What future will brings me? Yeah..yeah i know. I am the one who are going to set the course to where is it going and how. The thing is, i am still in quest of what i really want...but i can't be twiddling my thumbs forever, can i?.

One for sure, i don't want to stay single all my life. Then again, i don't want the degree of freedom i enjoy now is being ripped off me. I want everything. I am selfish.

My thoughts soar not as they ought to soar,
Higher and higher on soul-lent wings;
But ever and often and more and more
They are dragged down earthward by little things,
By little troubles and little needs,
As a lark might be tangled among the weeds.

My purpose is not what it ought to be,
Steady and fixed, like a star on high,
But more like a fisherman's light at sea;
Hither and thither it seems to fly--
Sometimes feeble, and sometimes bright,
Then suddenly lost in the gloom of night.

My life is far from my dream of life--
Calmly contented, serenely glad;
But, vexed and worried by daily strife,
It is always troubled and ofttimes sad--
And the heights I had thought I should reach one day
Grow dimmer and dimmer, and farther away.

My heart never finds the longed-for rest;
Its worldly striving, its greed for gold,
Chilled and frightened the calm-eyed guest
Who sometimes sought me in days of old;
And ever fleeing away from me
Is the higher self that I long to be.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

what are the blessings of the sight

I would be lying if i say i did not put any hope or even daydreamed it might have work out well. Almost like a fairytale and too good to be true. At the end of the day, I believe Allah knows what is the best for me. I have not regrets but thankful indeed. Alhamdulillah, the act to entice me with all the lovey dovey thingy did not blind my judgment and be firm of what or how i want it to be. Juicy stories can be fabricated..just don't discount that.

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Mary Oliver

Cekya-thanks a zillion..for all the insights
Awan-off course, i won't forget you.

Once the package of friendship has been opened..

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile,
nor the joy of companionship;
it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one
when you discover that someone else believes in you
and is willing to trust you with a friendship.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

and why bother the rest?

what life has thrown me I have caught..

i have learned that
your life can change
in a matter of minutes
by people who don't even know you

I should not dare to leave my friend..

I am changing my blog layout since the previous layout went haywire..kinda lazy to really dig which part of the script that are missing. I shall miss the red apples. I am liking this new look..kinda clean. Ramai yg being away from blogging arena kecuali Lun and Jimi yang sentiasa ada updates. Thot of blogging about it tapi Lun dah blog dulu..hehehe

Lot of things had happened. I got a new niece..Yan's daughter. Ivana Marcella..that is her name. We called her Marcella. Later i'll post her picture..kena minta from Cekya. Talking about Cekya, lately, both of us memang banyak spent time together..mostly related to Exquis Images. Tapi bila dah jumpa tu biasalah..gossip, gossip and gossip.

Last week Aan's mom was admitted in the ICU due to a burst blood vein and had to undergo an operation. Alhamdulillah, the operation went smoothly. Please pray for her speedy recovery. To Aan, semoga tabah menghadapi dugaan Allah.

Workwise. Counting the days to february 2nd. My last day with the company. Kerja pun dah tak banyak..bosanlah juga. Now clearing up apa-apa yang patut. Masih lagi not sure as who will be taking over my portfolio..still looking for the right candidate. Better find soon as i need to do handover thingy before i leave.

Thanks Ligo for the lovely ring and to Jimi for the cd.

A Special Wish

Thoughts Of Love On Your Birthday

Birthdays are occasion
for compliments and praise
And saying many of the things
we don't say other days -
For thoughts of love and gratitude
are fragile, cherished things,
As gossamer as fleecy clouds
or hummingbirds' small wings,
And often through the passing days
we feel deep down inside
Unspoken thoughts of thankfulness
and fond, admiring pride -
But words can say so little
when the heart is overflowing
And often those we love the most
must have no way of knowing
the many things the heart conceals
and never can impart,
For words seem so inadequate
to express what's in the heart -
But since it is your birthday
I thought it would be nice
If I let this first edition verse
by Helen Steiner Rice
In some small way express the things
that I would like to say
Not only on your birthday
but on every other day.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY CEKYA....

Hugs & kisses
::wtl::

New Direction

there are so much to tell but i am somewhat lazy these days to blog about it. been a lazy bum i just posted song lyrics in my past 2 entries.

My brother, Anuar got engaged on 3rd raya. I got to know about it when on last day of Ramadhan. It was a very simple engagement ceremony since his fiancee's dad just past away 2nd week of Ramadhan in his sleep. Alfatihah.

Remember the SCL thingy..i submitted the letter on Thursdays, first week after raya. The day before i got a call from someone asking me if am i still interested to join them but for a lower post. Was quite surprised because earlier she said there will an opening only in January. I guess this is my rezeki. Without hesitation i said yes. Went for the interview on the arranged date and the next day she called me up and said i got the job. Alhamdulillah. I was so happy and smiling the whole day through. One morning my immediate superior called and asked me if i heard of anyone leaving the company. OMG..did she actually know? I mentioned one of my colleague's name and avoiding to let her know as i have not get my letter of offer. She later called Maddy seeking for confirmation. Only our bosses did not know that i was leaving but he did smsed from Bali wanting to know who else will be leaving and they did not tell him. Surprise..surprise.

The D-day finally arrived. the convocation went well. with smiles all over our faces. we didn't thought that we made it. many of us planned to quit, myself without exclusion. to my surprise one even went to the office to sent the form with the intention to quit but unfortunately the office was closed. he have no other choice but to continue with the second semester. had he managed to sent the form, we wouldn't see having a big smile on the convocation day. When we first started there we about 37 of us in the class but only 14 managed to complete on time and graduated. To all my beloved classmates..WE MADE IT THROUGH GUYS. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I tendered a 3 months notice of resignation effective today after signing the offer letter yesterday. Am i happy? I definitely am but at the same time feeling kind of sad knowing that i will be leaving friends that i have known for the past 7 years..friends that i become close with. i shall miss them but i guess i need to think of my future nevertheless.

untuk dia

untuk si dia yang aku kenal
cinta dan sayang aku padanya tidak akan
pernah padam...buatlah aku tersenyum
dengan bahagiakan dirimu
pejamkan mata aku pasti di sisi

kogi - 9 september

kerana dia bukan kamu

Pejamkan Matamu - OST 9 September

kupejamkan mata
kau hadir di sisi
ku hulurkan tangan kau sambut dengan kasih
tenangkanlah hatimu
agar bisaku senyum

Pejamkanlah matamu jika rindukan wajahku
ku pejamkan mata..kau hadir disisi
bisik mesra darimu menyemai kasihku..
bahagiakan dirimu..agar bisaku senyum...

pejamkanlah matamu
kupasti di sisi
untuk dikau kasih ku curahkan cinta suci
yang tak mungkin terpadam
akan terus membara

bahagiakan dirimu
agar bisaku tersenyum
pejamkanlah matamu
jika rindukan wajahku
janji ku kepadamu aku pasti di sisi

**
Sukar utk digambarkan perasaan aku di penghujung filem 9 September..mungkin tidak menjangka sebegitu 'ending'nya. Yang pasti ia mengundang rasa sebak yang teramat sangat dan wtl tidak mampu langsung menahan airmata menderu jatuh. Until i had to calm myself down. Pasti orang yg melepasi kami perasan mata and hidung wtl yang merah kerana menangis. Tiada lagi rasa malu..aku berhak atas apa yang aku rasa. Thanks Cekya for the understanding. terlalu sukar menafikan apa yang wtl rasa..terlalu sukar

"because he is not you"

aku mau

Aku mau mendampingi dirimu
Aku mau cintai kekuranganmu
Selalu bersedia bahagiakanmu
Apapun terjadi

Kujanjikan aku ada

Wish For A Rainbow

For all the bad things that had happened, good things will come my way...that is for sure. Positive mind.

Doakan wtl...

Langit dan Awan

Dari kecil aku suka melihat langit. Melihat kepulan awan yang pelbagai bentuk dan rupa. Putih , bersih..mengingatkan aku pada 'cotton candy' setiap kali. Seolah ada satu lagi dunia/negara di situ. Setiap satu seolah ada kisah yang hendak disampaikan. Ia memberikan aku satu rasa yang sukar diungkap, satu ketenangan. Sudah agak lama aku tidak berbuat demikian. Mungkin kerana perhatianku kini lebih tertumpu di jalan raya daripada menikmati keindahan langit dan awan. Apatah lagi aku acapkali pulang ke rumah bila matahari sudahpun terbenam. Mungkin juga sejenak aku terlupa dengan keindahannya. Karambunai..itulah paling akhir aku memandang langit dan awan dengan begitu asyik. Luas terbentang. Captivating.

Petang tadi aku dalam perjalanan pulang, aku berkesempatan menikmati keindahan langit dan awan walau seketika cuma. Ditambah pula dengan pelangi petang . Aku rindu. Rindu melihat langit dan awan.

Aku hanya ingin duduk memandang.

Show cause letter

Pagi2 tadi ada satu email yang really pissed me off. Kurang pahala puasa ku hari ini...pagi-pagi dah curse berbakul-bakul. Yang wtl tak paham orang lain pun ambil EL by informing their peers and subordinates tapi they pick on me. If nak imposed the rules, impose lah kat semua orang..not only towards certain person. Memang cel*** punya perempuan

I think what happened to me is more to a personal attack because i replied to her email and one quite harsh email that was accidently sent to her. Before i went out of the office, she called me and handed a letter. I was required to write a show caused letter stating the reasons for my two earlier EL applications within 7 days from the issuance of the letter which is today. It was signed by my CEO. Failing to do so, a disciplinary action will be taken against me. What the fucking shit is going on here? As far as i am concern, my boss don't have any problem with me taking the EL...why are they making so much fuss out of it. Orang lain pun ambil EL..tak kena pun tulis show cause letter. This is shitty shit.

If memang betul tujuan dia untuk to get back on me..I won't forgive her, never, never in my life.She tarnished my employment record. If i got a better offer elsewhere, i will sure that it will be made known to her of it. Biar it lingers at the back of her mind.

Saat ini i really wish that i got a better offer elsewhere...

It pissed me off..really pissed me of. Damn it!!!!

doakan

Doakan wtl moga berjaya to secure an interview with them and eventually the job.

Happy Birthday, Azell and Wati

Celebrate The Miracle

Of all that makes you YOU.
Count a blessing for each candle
Have your cake and eat it too!

Unwrap this day and savor it
And all the love that's there
Send a dream-wish straight to
Heaven on the wings of prayer

Remember what a blessing you are
Even after this day is gone.
You're a gem, a priceless treasure
Let yourself shine on!

Taken from :
Absolutely Poetry

Azell : Hope you have a great celebration...age is merely numbers.
Wati : Age is merely numbers...have fun. Thanks for being a great cousin. See you at kampung this raya.

Want A Ride..

Stumbled into this cute hello kitty car masa nak beli kuih for berbuka kat Pantai Kundur few weeks back. Teringat cekya...because of the pink colour. Would you go this far?

Sekadar Perlu

terlalu banyak yang ingin diperkatakan, juga rasa yang ingin diluah. tapi aku fikir tak perlu diceritakan segalanya, ianya tak akan pernah habis seperti kisah sang penglipur lara yang tiada penghujungnya. cukup sekadar yang perlu-perlu sahaja. sukar mencari prasa untuk menguraikan rasa ini. sebaik sahaja ku biarkan ia tersimpan. aku juga tidak mahu walau sekelumit rasa bosan di kalangan kalian yang membaca.."the same old things over and over again".

jangan kalian salah sangka, aku bukan membuat pertuduhan. kalian terlalu baik. cuma aku tidak mahu terjadi sebegitu, bila tiba rasa bosan itu wujud. aku tahu perasaannya bila mendengar ujaran yang hanya sekadar berbahasa. hilang sudah keikhlasannya.

so, sekadar yang perlu-perlu sahaja.

In the list

of recipient...alhamdulillah.




14th Nov 2007...

morning stanza

2.30am and eyes open wide.
wide awake and so alone.
alone creates loneliness.
loneliness of the heart.
heart in despair.
despair of love.
love hurts.
hurts me.

wtl
2.30am, sg buloh

**saying goodbye to Kota Singa each time were not easy. there were the certain kinds of feelings. Felt like i left behing few pieces of my life puzzle.**

Diam

Berada dalam keadaan diam itu kadangkala begitu meresahkan jiwa. Hati berkata dan tertanya.

From His Album..

Lagu ini memberi sedikit sebanyak memberi kesan..i personally think this is his best album so far. Worth the wait.


Tak Lelah - Anuar Zain
Composer/Lyricist : Numata

Tak lelah
Kau beri sgalanya
'Tuk yakinkan ku
Kau sayang padaku
Hingga kau
Taklukkan diriku
Membuat ku tersedar
Ku t'lah merasakan sesuatu

Di saat ku mulai sayang
Di saat ku mulai cinta
Kau yang hilangkan rasa untukku

Chorus
Sedih yang mesti ku pendam
Rasa yang menjadi hampa
Ku jalani semua
Walau cinta kini tak berarah

Kau pergi tak beralasan
Tak seperti yang ku pinta
Ku menunggu tiba waktu kau ucapkan
Kau sayang pada ku

Tiada jodoh

Mungkin benar kata mereka berdua aku tiada jodoh dengannya. Buat kali kedua, ia terjadi lagi dan kali ini aku benar-benar kehilangannya. Apa yang hendak kukatakan lagi..aku perlu bersetuju dengan mereka. Handphone hilang. Called my number tapi tak dpt dihubungi. Baru sahaja beli 1G memory card rm60 tadi. Aduss..memang org tu dah ambil. I am hoping bulan puasa ni terbuka hati orang tu memulangkan handphoneku. Doakan sama ya.

Let it be...

Biarpun apa kata mereka.

Biarpun sakit telinga mendengar.

Biarpun pedih hati menerima.

Biarpun terkadang sukar untuk kutelan.

Biarpun mereka masih melihat luaran.

Aku masih bersyukur dengan kurniaanNya.

Syukur dengan kekurangan diri

Itulah menjadi tonggak kekuatanku sedari dulu.

Syukur. Syukur. Syukur. Alhamdulillah.

the thoughts that count

monolog..

"bebaskan aku

dari keadaan ini

sempurnakan hidupku

dari rapuhnya jiwaku

adakah seseorang

yang melepaskanku

dari kesepian ini"

8 Random Facts

I have been tagged by Blalang. Ingatkan adegan tagged meng'tagged' dah tak ada lagi. Here goes..first kena post the rules..

THE RULES:
1. Each blogger must post these rules first.
2. Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they've tagged, and to read ur blog.

Random fact no. 1



Green tea. I like green tea..suka banget. Tak tahu kenapa begitu suka dengan green tea. I am liking it a lot. Anything with associated dgn green tea definitely akan dapat my attention. Antara things yang pernah i have or once have or even tried are ice-cream, ice-blended, body lotion, body soap, canned or bottled drinks, boh ice green tea, toothpaste, perfume and off course the tea itself. Am i crazy or what!! Talking about ice-cream, hari tu ternampak green tea ice-cream kat Giant. Akan beli for sure.

Random fact no. 2


Books...bila ditanya apa my favourite pastime, i akan jawab reading. Some were smart enough to make a remark "you are such a boring person." How boring can it be...books bring you the a journey yang berbeza. Each book have a story to tell..samada menarik atau tidak. That's explain why the survey kata malaysian read less than 5 books a year. how sad. I love reading since i was small...still loving it. I still have the first book i bought and now with my 9 years old nephew. Ingat i baca buku tu kat my late grandma's house. I will to buy at least 2 books a month..tu yang rak buku dah melimpah ruah and i am one of the Malaysian Bookcrosser...

Random fact no. 3


Talkative. I like to think i am that kind of person...in a good way (hopefully others pun fikir macam tu). Nak kata terover peramah tu taklah kot but i rasa i have no problem bercakap dengan orang i baru kenal. Lebih-lebih lagi if orang tu pun sama talkative.


Random fact no. 4



Music. Suka dengar lagu..sekarang ni mostly lagu indonesia. Malaysian artist boleh dikira dgn jarilah kot yg i suka. It's not that they are not good but indonesian are more better. hahahaha. I can listen to almost everything but taklah rap, heavy metal, remix and perhaps hiphop. Why..so not in the trend ke? Well setiap orang ada their own liking kan. Suka juga dengar Richard Clayderman..very calming and also not forgeting gamelan..suka,suka and suka (jgn tak caya, i ada cd gamelan). Talking about music..my fav. song of alltime is "More Than Words" by Extreme. Mungkin kerana the lyrics as well as the music...for me jika selalu mengungkap kata cinta akan membuatkan ia kurang bermakna if compared when it is said when you least expected it..shweet. Itu apa yg i rasa, org lain mungkin sebaliknya.

Random fact no. 5
Silence Treatment. I tak suka nak argue dengan orang...sebab i tak reti how to balas balik apa yang they said. Later baru kata to myself, i should said this or that. Most of the time i akan diam..especially bila i marah. Lagipun mungkin malas nak prolong all these buat sakit kepala aje. I think this make people take advantage of me sebab depa tu ingat i macam tak kisah dgn apa yg they buat or said. i will try to avoid any argument if possible but i can be very sarcastic at times..but very rare occasion. I was once a hot tempered person...believe me. Masa sekolah2 dulu..my friends will not talk to me if i marah. Nanti tak pasal-pasal, dia orang yang kena marah. That was then..now i am not that person..tend to take things much easy.

Random fact no. 6

Procrastinate. Very bad habit. I tend to do this sometimes. Quite often than not. Especially during study..somehow my brain ni if study awal-awal masuk tak masuk dalam otak apa yang dibaca. Bila last minute tu okay ajer penerimaan otak. Lepas tu mulalah regret..i can do even better if only i revise much earlier. Itu perkara biasalah kan.


Random fact no. 7

Poetry. One of the earliest poem yg ingat i belajar is "The Story of Augustus who not have any Soup". seingat i either masa std 5. Kena baca kat depan class.. "Augustus was a chubby lad; Fat ruddy cheeks Augustus had; bla bla bla.. "O take the nasty soup away! I won't have any soup to-day: I will not, will not eat my soup! I will not eat it, no!" dgn gaya-gaya sekali. Tersenyum sorang bila ingatkan. Then, years later Kak Sunida (wonder where is she at the moment..) wrote a poem in my book that i cherish until now. It somehow develop my love towards poetry once again. Suka poetry but tak pandai sangat nak tulis.. My fav. poetry.. 'IF' by Rudyard Kipling.

Random fact no. 8

Horror Movies. Tak suka tengok horror movie sebab it will haunt me for days. Also movies yang ada violences and suspence elements...boleh pecah dada. because of this, i always being teased by my cousins. Setiap kali i went to their place masa tu lah nak tengok horror movie. adusss. apa lagi sorok muka belakang bantal. I suka tengok investigation series macam CSI, Criminal Minds, Numb3rs, Bones etc etc.. Teringat pulak cerita TJ Hooker..masa tu gila tengok Adrian Zmed. Can still remember his name.

Ini sahaja yang dapat dicoretkan disini...now i have to list 8 names pulak. And the awards go to..

1. Cekya
2. Ligo
3. Lun
4. Awan
5. I_mshe
6. Azell
7. Cekmi
8. Jimi

Envy..

I am happy for them..i really am but i can stop myself from having the envy feeling. Think about myself and said "one day perhaps...one day perhaps." Period.

All the best

Good Luck Awan

Jungle Nite

First and foremost, Happy Birthday Cekmi. Do take care and have fun. Sms me when you are back.

Annual dinner was fun. We had it on the eve of National Day. Things were a bit chaotic in the beginning as the hotel was quite late in setting up the room. People were arriving and we still not ready. Our staffs had to lend them a hand with the set up. I was also quite disappointed because they cannot provide us with the flowers they had promised. They have lots function that day and the flowers were out of stock. Had to rush back to the hotel room to get ready or i'll be late. Despite the hiccups, the whole event was great. Lots of animals that nite and one cute pink rabbit. winks. winks.

I think everyone enjoyed themselves. I did. Even better with the presence of Cekya and Awan as our unofficial photographer. It was good to have them around. Life cannot be more better when you have your good friends to enjoy the joyful moments with you.

Thanks Awan and Cekya. Photos can be seen here.

saat itu

Merindu pada sebuah ceritera semalam yang seharusnya ditinggakan jauh. Sesekali kenangan itu menerjah dan tak mampu kutangkis. Sampai bilakah?

So so clumsy..

I am angry at myself. At my own clumsiness. I am disappointed with myself and for that i am speechless. May i will find my cellphone at the hotel or wherever it is. As well as the peace in my heart.

My Lil Angel

that's my lil angel, isya. she's a big girl now.
how i miss her..

She also likes pink. notice the pink dress and bangle..any similarities Cekya?

I Hid My Love

by : John Clare (1793 - 1864), Henry Gibson

I hid my love when young till I
Couldn't bear the buzzing of a fly,
I hid my love to my despite
Till i could not bear to look at the light:
I dare not gaze upon her face
But left her memory in each place;
Where'er I saw wild a flower lie
I kissed and bade my love good-bye.

I met her in the greenest dells,
Where dewdrops pearl the wood bluebells;
The lost breeze kissed her bright blue eye,
The bee kissed and went by,
A sunbeam found a passage there,
A gold chain round her neck so fair;
As secret as the wild bee's song
She lay there all the summer long.

I hid my love in field and town
till e'en the breeze would knocked me down;
the bees seemed singing the ballads o'er,
The fly's bass turned a lion's roar;
And even silence found a tongue,
To haunt me all the summer long;
The riddle nature could not prove
Was nothing else but secret love.

A year younger..

Happy Birthday Lun. Wish you all the happiness in the world.

I am in denial. Sigh!!

p/s :Happy Birthday MamaEmmy. Wish all dreams will come true.

W.O.W

A friend's words of wisdom :

"He will give what you want if you give Him what He wants"

So true..and yet sometimes we lose sight.


p/s : i like my new layout. Glad you guys like it too

The One With A New Layout

Had an enjoyable weekend with Awan and his friends..as well as Cekmi coincidently. A late nite treat at Restoran Jejantas with juicy stories..ermm. The next day we hit the road back to KL. Later that nite..at home, i feel all alone. Tak suka that feeling.

My blog has a new layout now..belum 100% siap. Very clean look.

Happy Hour

Life has been leisurely calm.. Not more classes to attend or trying to keep up with deadlines, and above all that, no more exams. So what did i do on saturdays and sundays? I did not do anything bizarre..sometimes just laze around and watched tellie till late time. Taking the time off even from blogging, though i have so much to tell. Such a wonderful life. I-A-M-L-O-V-I-N-G-I-T. But i am not very sure how long i can stay this way...not studying, i mean. Been doing that ever since i got my first degree. Few of my friends did ask if i have the intention to pursue. Yes, the intention to do Doctorate is there, just don't know when. At the moment, just let me feel the enjoyment of being free after the 2 years of hardwork.

Also, there are those who are not keen of the idea..wanting me to settle down. Not-that-easy. At my age, where can i find a good single guy nowadays..most of them are already taken, not ready for any commitment or career-oriented. What is left? The opportunist..lots of those these days. It scares me. Sometimes i feel that i in my comfort zone with being single. I have the freedom to do as i pleased, out with friends whenever i want. One the other hand, i want the companionship..if possible without having to sacrifice my freedom, perhaps not all but most of it. The only cloud in the horizon is the fail marriage or he turned out to be a complete stranger after saying the vows.

Transformers..robots in the sky ( An's version). Managed to see the movie after twice of unlucky circumstances. Some even said maybe 'i takde jodoh with transformers'. I am determined to see the movie..no matter what. You must be wondering what were the unlucky instances.

• My friend managed to get us the ticket for saturday show on wednesday. Woke up saturday morning with the eagerness to watch Transformers (been waiting since last year). Couldn't get my car to start..tried few times, still failed to get the engine running. It was 9.00pm and the workshops were yet to open. Luckily, they had their handwritten phone number at the banner. Quickly called the mechanic. After done some checking, he said the alternator need to be changed. Since he did not store any at the workshop, he need to get it elsewhere. Still early, i might be able to make it to KLCC at 11am. Waiting..waiting and felt like forever. My heart pounded fast when my watched showed 10.45pm. My hope crushes. Called my friend few times but can't get through. Apparently, she did not bring her cellphone. Told the mechanic i am going home (luckily it's only a 5 mins walk) and asked him to call me when it's ready. By the time the car is ready it has past 1pm. Sigh!!!
• On Monday, planned with my colleagues to watch the movie on Wednesday. The four of us..Redz, Jidi and Aja. Booked the ticket online and i got Redz to pick up the tickets. On that Wednesday, we rushed to Midvalley and got there on time. Went into the movie theatre and happily seated at our seats with the popcorns and all. Again, i waited. Popcorns almost finish...wondered why it took so long for the show to start. Suddenly we heard someone made an announcement that there was a technical problem and the movie cannot be shown. People started to make noises. i can understand why. To queue for the tickets is not something we want to do again. We have no other choice but to get our refund. Decided to watch the show on friday but we cannot do the booking since the monitor only showed up to Thursday showtimes. To cut it short, Friday and Saturday fully booked, we manage to catch Monday's show. At last, after such a long wait, i can proudly say that I HAVE WATCHED TRANSFORMERS. It was beyond words..superbly good. You know what i mean, right?

Masyi requested that i post pictures of the house i am staying currently. Will do that after i take a few snapshots. Not something fancy or extraordinary but i like it very much. Hoping that she will sell the house to me. Do pray for me..please.

I know i don't have the look but i don't need to be constantly reminded of that eventhough jokingly. I can accept it the first time but not that often. Thinking back, i feel that he are sometimes like my sister, like to say as they pleased without thinking that others might feel offended with their words. Lidah itu lebih tajam dari mata pedang. Whatever lah...the inner beauty is much more important that what lies in the outside. I am still grateful being the person i am..Alhamdulillah.

Later Alligator

Got lots to story tapi my internet is still not up and running sebab telephone line kat rumah ada problem. Hopefully it will be okay in this 2-3 weeks. am using my cuzzie pc to check few things.

take care guys

mana silapnya?

the other day i saw few people signed card and saw A**r pegang hadiah. asked him, he said hadiah org kahwin. i was a bit puzzled sebab in my knowledge tak ada news ada orang nak kahwin. today i saw hadiah tu at table my officemate yang last day. To kill my curiousity i asked someone card apa yang she signed the other day and she replied the card is for my officemate yang last day tu. A**n dah beli hadiah and she tanya siapa yang nak share. terasa kecil hati sungguh..the others but tak tanya i pun. bukan i kenal then setahun dua. I have know them for 11 years and they did this. dahlah lately ni rasa sangat terasing sangat with their attitude towards me. Am i that bad ke?

I think i need to do something positive to myself. Personal grooming and build up the confident level. Pedulikan mereka.

It Pay Off

Just dapat my result..ada 2A, 1A minus and 1B. tension betul dapat B for International Business. Walaupun bagaimanapun ku panjatkan teramat sangat syukur kepadaNya. I will be graduating this year will CGPA of 3.54. YEAY!!!! Nak grad. All the hardwork pay off. I am so HAPPY beyond words.

Remember tak, i selalu mention the top student in my class tu. He will be graduating with a CGPA of 3.97. Overall he got 3A plus, 9A and 1A minus. How to challenge that? One thing i can say he is gifted.


Thanks to all my classmate for your support and friendship. I LOVE YOU ALL and CONGRATS.

terasing

aku. dia. mereka. semakin jarak. terasa asing. aku dengan duniaku, dia dan mereka dengan dunianya. sesekala bermain di fikiran mungkin ada silapku hingga terjadinya ini. seharusnya aku tidak perlu peduli kerana dia sememangnya tidak. tapi aku tidak mampu kerana itu aku. syukur aku ada kamu yang berikan pelangi.

where the h*** are you?

my brother is nowhere in sight. geramlah ni. Since yesterday i have been packing all the stuff. Lupa nak mention..i am moving to a new place esok. things ada lagi yg tak pack. My room ada stuffs yang belum pack. tadi kemas kitchen and the third room yang full of stuff. Tak tahu cukup tak the boxes..now pun dah more than 15 boxes, big and small. By 9 tomorrow lorry nak datang and only the three of us yang akan angkat all the stuffs.. me, brother and the lorry driver. Am hoping that my brother akan tolong me kemas. dah sms, sampai sekarang tak nampak batabg hidung. penat ni. the boxes tak susun lagi, sampah belum masuk dalam plastic hitam and buang. Sabar jelah.

Ni tengah rehat kejap.

Lupa nak mention..we had a good time kat swensens today. Topic of the day "wtl and stolen car tyres". Awan and Cekmi brought their friends, Khairil and Azrai.
Lun - i have bagi your gift tu pada everybody except MamaEmmy cannot make it as she is in Kuantan.

way back home

i am the Changi Airport, on my way back home. Met Ligo and Masyi...sadly i did not meet Lun. Last minute change of plan..

will tell you all about it. My foot is killing me..

biarlah

ku anggap dia pemangkin walaupun nun di sana. ceria hari ku. aku tak peduli. jika hanya aku yang punya rasa, tidak dia. juga ingin rasa indahnya. pergilah duka. bawalah sinar pelangi. aku rindu pada bahagia.

terlalu istimewa

sukar untuk melepaskan. terlalu cinta. menjadikan aku disergah kesunyian yang amat. sakit dada menahan. perlukah begini? tapi sampai bila?

Jike benar sekali pun, layakkah mereka mempersoalkannya? Aku juga manusia seperti mereka. miliki hati dan rasa.

what would your answer be?

This came from a 5 years old girl (anak my boss)

• Kenapa pampers budak kecil besar tapi pampers orang besar kecil?
• Rambut abah banyak putih. Apa kata kita panggil yang putih tu rambut and yang hitam itu uban?
• Kenapa orang dah kahwin ada anak tapi orang yang tak kahwin tak ada anak?

Be creative and tell me ur answers..


*Wtl, Cekya & Ann (Cekya's friend) met up with I_mshe and Nuha semalam kat Impiana. It's good to see I_mshe again. Body still maintain kurus and Nuha...so so adorable.*

**got myself a pair of elle shoes..brown colour. I like!!!

Persis Mutiara - Mila AF5

Biar kau tunduk bisu
Aku tahu
Gelora hatimu
Engkau mahu
Aku lafazkan rindu

Biar kau hanya diam
Aku selam
Jiwamu terdalam
Perasaan cintamu yang kau pendam

Kata paling terindah
Tak mungkin bisa ucapkan
Hakikat rasa yang ku rasakan

Pabila ku renung ke matamu
Terlihat ku hatimu kasih
Persis mutiara

Sinarmu mendamaikan
Pergolakan
Insan yang lelah mengembara

Tak terbilang kesan-kesan luka
Titis hujan airmata
Tenang sebentar pedih semula

Buatku rasa gentar
Membisikkan hasrat hati sebenar
Sekalipun engkau inginku lamar
Kasihku

I didn't really follow AF5 in fact AF yang lain juga but semalam watched the final of AF5..suka dengar Mila nyanyi as well as masa Aizad nyanyi lagu Yesterday. Aznil tak jadi pengacara AF lagi. A tribute him semalam buat wtl rasa sedih pulak. Some yang will replace him, have to do extra work and be original.

Where are my tyres!!!!

For the past few weeks i parked my car at Batu Tiga commuter station. Did not expect anything bad to happened. Last night as usual by 6.30pm i went back. Sampai kat kereta i did not notice anything weird. Got the engine running but somehow the car is not moving either to the front or backwards. Well, something is definitely wrong. Takkan kereta stuck kat mud..mustahil. The day before, i saw kereta kat belakang my car got puncture tyre, on the right hand side depan and belakang. I thot perhaps my tyres pun kena mcm tu. Got out of the car checked my tyres and found out that someone had taken 2 of my tyres..tayar depan and belakang sebelah kiri. Rasa nak menjerit pun ada...dah lah penat.

called my brother, my classmates and my cousins. At first, thought of towing but then my brother sampai, followed by cousins..they letak my spare tyre and my brother's spare tyre and guna aje nat campur-campur since jumpa mine 5 aje.

The car now kat my uncle's place..nak beli tayar and rim kena tunggu gaji next week. So today tak gi kerja since my brother overnite kat his friend's place semalam and balik kerja today terus pergi Kenyir.

Tension giler...memang dia orang dah tak ada kerja lain gamaknya. I won't forgive them!!!

Aku Bukan Pilihan Hatimu - Ungu

Jika memang diriku
Bukanlah menjadi
Pilihan hatimu
Mungkih sudah takdirnya
Kau dan aku
Takkan mesti bersatu

Haruslah slalu kau tahu
Ku mencintaimu di sepanjang waktuku
Harus slalu kau tahu
Semua abadi untuk selamanya

Karena ku yakin
Cinta dalam hatiku
Hanya milikmu
Sampai akhir hidupku

Karena ku yakin
Di setiap hembus nafasku
Hanya dirimu
Satu yang slalu ku rindu

teringatkan dia...

i will be in SG on the 5th - 10th. will be visiting the brokers and 2 days course. As well as meeting up with Lun, Masyi and Ligo. Can't hardly wait. Should i let him know? masih berkira2..perhaps before boarding the plane.

to be or not to be...that's the question

Yesterday..

I had a chat with this one guy about muta'ah and misyar. He said earlier that dia plan nak find someone for muta'ah. He asked my opinion about it and i said i can't give any opinion without knowing more about it. Based on my reading, muta'ah is haram whilst misyar adalah diharuskan and i think what he meant was misyar. Told him that and said perhaps he should not see it from the surface and seek understanding and knowledge on that before embarking onto it. His simple reply was i don't like theories, if all the ustaz kata harus..siapalah kita nak argue. Duh!! Ni lah namanya nak buat tapi nak tahu in-depth abt it. Later i told him if you really want to do it, then he should at least know what are the other party i.e. the woman rights supaya it won't create any difficulties. His answers really pissed me off.
him : awak ingat Tuhan tak tahu woman rights
me (beristigifar) : Allah Maha Mengetahui..cuma manusia yg tak
him : i tak ragu2 dgn agama i
me : what are trying to imply?
him : you seolah2 ragu dgn agama u
me (dlm hati) : Na'uzubillah

Terus i jadi pissed off..i am just spilling out my opinions, mcm tu pulak jawapannya. terus malas nak layan.

Today..

Going to work is such a drag..i rasa my work is so routine and stagnant. Been applying jobs here and there. Still no answers. Ray (the scorer) plan to do his PhD next year. I pun ada intention to do my PhD but nak buat kat oversea. When think about it the easiest way utk dapat sponsorship utk buat PhD is by becoming a lecturer and if i am still in the industry..i am sure if having PhD with change a thing. Ada MBA pun, tak ubah apa2. Some people will say that i am crazy..gila belajar. Macamana nak cakap ya..i love studying walaupun the exams and schoolworks tu memang kadangkala buat tension. Perhaps that explains why i have not really stop studying since my degree days. My previous experience..i boleh tahan 2-4 months aje, lepas tu dah rasa rindu nak study. Ni tak tahulah mcmana.

This is just a plan..but intention nak buat PhD tu memang ada. If tak buat, then i will go for my fellowship. See what my dad have to say about it...from small asyik nak suruh anak2 dia jadi che'gu.

A colleague of mine after reading an email abt Raja Nazrin's future wife send an email to F****, one of the broker i closely work with, teasing him on Zara being her sister because of the surname. To our surprise he replied yes..she is my youngest sister. We laughed as we were only teasing him and did not expect it's true. Anyway, to Raja Dr. Nazrin and Zara Salim Davidson, wish you all the happiness.

it all pays..

Alhamdulillah. The viva presentation went well. I think this is my best presentation through the entire course. After the presentation, one of examiner said to us "this is a very good study". All our efforts and sacrifices now bear the fruits. No major changes need to be done, only some editorial work. Officially, i have completed my MBA and only waiting for the results.

Thanks my dearies for you wishes and doa.

Wish me luck..

Tomorrow is my viva. Listening to Lin's story on today session did add extra weight to my nervousness. There are some dissatisfaction..can understand their feelings. Really hope we won't be bombarded with tough questions.

Doakan wtl okay...

Something Missing..

Cekya, Awan, Cekmi, Azell and Julie - thanks for the lovely birthday treat. really enjoyed myself that nite.
Cekmi ~ thanks dear. appreciate the gift.

Today my office organized annual golf tournament..luckily this year buat kat KGSAAS. Just 10 min from home as compared to last year, had it atNilai. Me..playing golf? Not yet..i was one of the committee member. The weather was just nice..tak panas tapi turf lah soggy sikit sebab hujan.

Balik from the club, singgah TESCO. Ingat nak beli a few items tapi bila seeing the crowd at the counter, i changed my mind and headed home.

Basically i dah tak ada class, tinggal the viva this 4th...takutnya. Pray for me please. It's good to have my saturdays and sundays back. I got lots of plan at the back of my head but somehow, i feel there is something missing..i miss going to class (minus the exam and schoolworks) and miss my friends. Suddenly, i feel like i am lost and tonite feels so sad..especially bila tengah buat movie strip of my class. I miss them..i really do. Talked to Zam about this and she also felt the same. Wonder about the others...are they feeling the same? My guess..YES. I need to adapt to these changes.

This is so sad...

The day i celebrated my birthday, 32 families lost their loved ones. My heart goes the deceased families. Lives of innocent people are of no values to others..so sad

all will come to an end..

the past few weeks my life had been so hectic. i don't care what happened around me. all i care was to finish my thesis on time. I took a whole week leave from the office last week. Am sure people thought that i was somewhere relaxing and having a good time. how i wish lah kan. the fact was, i spent my days and nights at uitm..trying to get my ABP (Applied Business Project/Research) aka thesis done on time. As mentioned in my earlier posting..i had to do my thesis during the semester and at the same time i got classes to attend to. Lecturer are also not compromising..but can't blame them, they also need us to gave us with assignments as part of the coursework. Unlike the seniors, they have 3 months solely for ABP. Having to do thing in a rush, really test our patience and endurance. Me and Aya slept at the 24 hours discussion room, had our shower at the toilet. A memory to cheeris. A day before handing in the ABP, we did not sleep for 30hrs (that is the time when Cekmi smsed and wish me), had to berkejar to office to print, balik to uitm to rearrange the pages and appendices, pergi kedai for binding and submitted it to the 2 examiners, supervisor and faculty..yes it was a very tiring day for us. So happen, it was the day of my BIRTHDAY. Easy said, i dated my thesis on my birthday and went to sleep after that. A lovely way to celebrate.

My life is like "makan ABP, tidur ABP"...there were times when we had our lunch at 6pm, at 8pm..we were caught up with works until terlupa lunch. I joined up with Aya for this ABP..there were some group of 3 but yang buat kerja 2 orang aje. Yang seorang tu either give very minimal effort or no contribution at all. Macam-macam masalah yang other groups encountered. My group was not an exceptional. Our supervisor was not around to assist us as she was on medical leave after underwent an operation. So, tengok orang jumpa their supervisor on their finding analysis, rasa sedih juga lah sebab tak ada sesiapa nak proof read our ABP. It will backfires us masa viva nanti.

Decided to see the coordinator about our problem. I went to see her in the morning and told her about our problem and she just said your supervisor will be back on Monday. HELLO!!! Monday is the submission date..takkan nak hantar je. Then Aya smsed our supervisor with the hope to see her at home. She replied the sms and asked us to seek help from our coordinator as she is really unwell. This time i went to see her with Aya with a notebook in hand hoping that will have a look at our work. To our dissappointment and anger, she said i tak ada masa nak baca..i ada banyak benda lain nak baca and it is not my line. A coordinator can say as such..she is SUPPOSED to help us yang in need. She called another lecturer, which was our Marketing lecturer to help us. Lepas tu terus sambung her work tanpa giving us a word of comfort. Tau lah dia nak supervise the top student aje tapi being a coordinator you should also have empathy pada the studentsn (so lecturers out there, don't pick and choose). Even some of the lecturers tak faham why do we need to do our ABP in a rush and some even thought that we dah tak ada class and solely buat ABP.

On Sunday, we went to seeDr. S***** . She was really helpful. She even wanted to help us with our power point presentation. Thanks Dr. S*****, you really save us and thanks for comforting us. A group she supervised is having some problem juga..hanya M (from next class) yang buat kerja. Yang 2 lagi habuk tak boleh harap. He did cerita his problem pada Abg R masa friday prayer. We got to know pun from Abg R..memang kesian dengar his story. So lepas Dr. S***** tengok our work, we asked her about M's group. She said if she did not receive anything from the group, maknanya kena deferred lah. Aiyokk. Terus both of us rasa kesian kat M. Takkan sebab 2 sleeping partners tu, M tak boleh grad. Tak patut. Yang group member dia sorang tu at the moment kat overseas and the other one tu hari Sabtu baru jumpa. Yang i geram tu..depa ni bukannya ada class lagi, hanya tinggal ABP aje. Unlike M, still ada class like us and every week ada presentation. If he managed to do his part, why can't them? Some people. Aya said something that i had thought last friday after i heard the story from Abg R..why not let him be in our group? It is unfair for him not graduating for the fault of others. He has done his part, they don't. Called M that nite with our proposal...i guess i rasa segan and serba salah sebab dia masuk our group when it's 95% done. For us, we don't mind. Just want to help a friend.

After the submission, headed back. Kat rumah tetiba rasa 'empty' and sedih. Maybe because these two weeks life been hectic and terkejar sana sini and ABP is the penghujung of 2 years of hardwork. No more rushing to classes to class after this, no more discussion, no more night meetings at uitm and no more suasana hingar bingar class...i am going to miss all that and my foremost, i am going to miss all my frens. Sedih la...

We are arranging a farewell dinner this saturday after the exam...even more rasa sedih.

All good things will come to the end and i hope our friendship will not.

two celebration

to two of my bestest friend in class :-

~ shahri : Happy 35th Birthday man..jgn nakal2, u know what i mean. ahaks. You, Aya n me.. lets go tepanyaki
~ aya : I am happy to be the second person to know after Ikmal, off course. Congrats my dearest..take good care. Hope it's a baby girl.

Hope our friendship remains.

Thanks zel for the lovely cupcakes...

only that for so much effort?

had a meeting on KPI..now kena tambah 2 new KPIs i.e. number of contract rework ( utk kira error lah juga ) and number of errors ( reports ). Rasa macam mmg nak cari silap je. why did i say that? weightage utk risk assessment and number of risk processed is only 2% but utk rework 20% weightage. same goes utk reporting...all my efforts utk buat report cuma diberi 3% weightage but for number of errors 10%. And this two KPIs are only for executive level and assistant manager. Should i even be motivated to look for a new job?

What is Your Best Feature on You??

What is Your Best Feature on You??PICS

Gorgeous Eyes
You have absolutely gorgeous eyes. They have so much depth behind them. You are a true emotional, and romantic. Times get hard, but you will always have that special someone to get you through things. You love to write poetry, and express your thoughts. But your one thing to do is Crying...on the inside and out. You may never realize it, but times will get better, and you'll always have a love waiting for you, if you dont already have one.
Take this quiz!








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welcome little one

I_mshe..congrats atas kelahiran Nuha Alia. U take care and moga cepat sihat. Jangan lupa post her pic and minum air gamat.

i am scared..

went to see the ENT specialist today. This is my 2nd appointment with him. He told me of something that me feel kinda scared. During the first meeting, he took some sample of the infection in my ear and sent it to the lab. Tadi lepas he did the suction kat dalam telinga, he told me that the lab dah run the test of the bacteria and it seems that the bacteria is so strong. The bacteria is resistance to all the antibiotics they tested except for one..yg itu is through injection. I saw a long list of the antibiotics..all coded with R (i saw 2 pages of the list). He did not want to give me the injection..my guess is that antibiotic might be the strongest one. I am going to see him again this friday, to remove the cotton i have inside my ears. Due to mastoic cavity as a result from the mastoidectomy operation i underwent in 1999, the specialist had to put 3 strip of cotton instead of the normal of only one.

i am scared...any suggestion on how to increase the immune system?

a different life

falling in love with this song..

lately going to work it not something i look forward to. not that i don't like the job, i do..it's just that i don't feel the challenge anymore. i feel i am doing a mundane day-to-day work. This most probably because i have been doing the same old job for the past 6 years. i crave for more now. did my MBA do that to me? wanting to explore new things, face new challenges. I want to speak to my boss about it but haven't had the chance to do so. At the same time, i am trying my luck for something totally new...

In contrast with work, this final semester has been the busiest semester of all..barely had time for myself and the lecturer treated us as if we are doing the programme fulltime. So much of work until we feel there so little air to breathe. Every group are required to present 3 chapters of the book...we are practically the lecturer. She just listened, interrupted once in a while and expected us to know the chapter in our fingertips. GIRLS, watch out!!! She will find ways to get you one way or another. GUYS..no worries, you are the lucky ones. She do things the PhD way...aiyok!!! The one who suffers is US. Alhamdulillah, this saturday is the last class..exam day.

In a month or two i will complete my Masters program. It has been a wonderful experience and also a bumpy road as well. I shall miss my classmates, miss the weekend classes, the night discussion and everything related to it. God knows. I am thinking what shall i do next, PhD? I might..but not in this near future.

My Dearest Classmates ( Aya, Shaari, Zell, Zam, Iz, Ismar, Ray, Lan, Abg Zack, Abg Rusly, Abg Mie, Acid, Sham, Mahani, Rizal, Abg Yunos, Shazirul, Suriani, Abd Radzwill, Kak Yan, Zura, Raslan)~ it has been a wonderful 2 years of my life and definitely will treasure those moments. Love you guys.

it's 1.20am and i just reached home from u**m. tomorrow the same thing, work & went to u**m. preparation for the exam. applied for leave this friday, hopefully it will be approved.

KPI...

speechless...

pm : a) i feel like shit
b) i suspected something but how to know for real? { nothing related to (i) }
c) if it is true...and then i will be sad (bukan the kind of lovey dovey punya sad, okay)
d) if it is true...moga dia jumpa jalan pulang.
Period

Things in life

I got tagged by Lun..here it goes.

5 things i would do if i were a millionaire

• Perform haj together my parents & siblings
• Build one yayasan for my families..paid for their educations, medical expenses and charity
  
• Start a business..event planner (Redmedia Event Management..sounds cool), bookstore or art and craft
  
• Travel to places i long to visit..New Zealand, Holland (tulipss..just love them), Oman, Tunis etc etc
• Build house..for my parents and for me. A nice house facing a lake..with gazebo and ada kebun buah-buahan
  

5 bad habits

• Procrastination...bila last minit baru kelam kabut. Study pun mcm tu last minit baru nak revised...baca awal2 tak masuk dlm otak.
  
• glued in front of my notebook for hours..sometimes skip makan
• tidur lambat...tak boleh tidur selagi tak pukul 12am. dah terbiasa since uni days. so not good.
  
• Put myself second. selalu put others' feeling first, then only diri sendiri...
• Tak buat exercise...lama dah tak exercise. kena start balik ni. Fight the kemalasan.
  

5 things i hate doing

• REPORT!!! & MORE REPORT!!! in excel form pulak tu. boleh menaikkan marah
• Basuh baju...washing machine rosak, kena handwash. bercinta betul.
• marah...tak suka nak marah and futhermore tak reti nak get back to people. selalu missed the boat...oh!! i should have said this or that.
• Iron baju..especially my silk baju kurungs. I will take an hour to iron my silk baju kurung and it explains why i jarang wear it.
• Naik lrt yang very crowded like dlm tin sardin pagi-pagi coupled with rude people and the waiting time for the bus at kat lrt bangsar untuk pergi office...urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. talking about efficiency and services.
  

5 things i never do

• watch horror movie...
• bungee jumping and anything to do with height.
  
• suck up to my boss for promotion
• smoke, clubbing, alcohol, gambling and yang seangkatan dgnnya
• guna toilet and letak tissue banyak2 sampai penuh dalam toilet bowl that buat toilet bowl tu tersumbat. This happened okay..byk kali kat office. Dah letak notice pun still jadi lagi. pissed me off betul. nak tahu juga siapa the culprit yang tak ada toilet etiquette.
  

5 things i regret doing

• something sinful juga...moga Allah mengampunkan segala dosa2ku. Biarlah rahsia.
  
• for not giving the very best when i know i could have done better.
  
• Dengar cakap orang onPelan dan Dongakan before masuk the exam hall. cost me my Modern Math result...patut ikut apa yang i faham. SIGH!!
  
• Kecilkan hati my parents...
• tak belajar betul2 masa my first year in uni...affected my CGPA. Had to work extra hard the remaining years. Learnt my lesson after that.
  

5 fave toys/things

• my laptop...need it everyday.
• my cat..Baby. miss her
• my books....esp Kay Hooper's
• bracelets given by my mom and dad
  
• www.walkthrulife.blogspot.com
  

5 person tag

• biahnce
• azell
  
• kurekuresakti
• nana
• nobody

Note: really thot that today is Friday and esok cuti. Sigh!!

sukar

kadangkala apa yang ku rasa sukar untuk diuraikan dengan kata-kata. Sebaiknya biar aku sahaja yang tahu. sukar untuk dimengertikan. kosong

friend bear

visited lun's blog and decided to take the quiz...here's the result

	Friend Bear You are everyone's ideal friend because you are sincere and genuinely kind. Sometimes you worry about your friends' problems so much, you forget about your own responsibilities, which can get you into trouble. For you, it's the little things that really count. You also happen to be the main driver of the Cloud Car. No speeding!
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

hate it when this happens...

i hate it when people jugde you by your looks and not your personality or innerself. especially guys. i love being friends with others, meeting new people but when they treated me that way, it just urggghhhh (am out of words). The first time it happened, it made me feel sad and feeling inferior about myself and i hate that kind of feeling. It still does make me feel sad but the degree of sadness is not as great as before. it happened often enough until i am quite skeptical to meet to new people.

the other thing i despise, is when people compared me with my sister or cousins. so what if they are good looking, keep it to yourself. don't have to tell me that. i don't need to be reminded of that. had enough of it my entire life.

i have to console myself by reminding the good values that i have in me. i don't have the look but i do have the brain. i am still trying to prove that to someone. to forgive is easy but to forget..ermm.

don't you just hate it. what is good look with a bad attitude?

Happy Birthday Dearest Awan..

Birthday Blessings

Instead of counting candles,
Or tallying the years,
Contemplate your blessings,
As your birthday nears.

Consider special people
Who love you, and who care,
And others who’ve enriched your life
Just by being there.

Think about the memories
Passing years can never mar,
Experiences great and small
That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,
So cut your cake, and say,
"Instead of counting birthdays,
I count blessings every day!"

By Joanna Fuchs

Dearest Awan..may you have a joyful birthday and many more to come. Thanks for being such a wonderful person. *hugs*hugs*

brain freeze

today belajar 10 chapter in one go...next week ada exam that covers 18 chapter. It's a one hour exam and after that ada presentation for 3 hours. The next day start new subject.

laziness hits

got lots to update but kinda lazy to do so. life being so hectic with work and study. this is a short semester..apart from the usual class, kena juga siapkan ABP..ala thesis gitu. thot that we kena hantar in june, so ada around 2 mths after the final exam utk finish up but it turns up we need to send the final draft by 31st March and viva on the 29th April. Our final exam tentatively will be on the 15th April. I am far from completing it...95% more to go. Still lots to be done. Interviews, questionnaires, data collections...arghhhhhhhhh. start to feel the tense. don't let me be panic. breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...