Bad, bad, bad guys are out there!!!!

I am officially a Pandan Jaya resident now that I have moved there. I am still tired of the moving, unpacking and rearranging. Lots more to go. Probably will finish in few days.

On Saturday, Cekya and I went to Zoo Negara as we had a photoshoot job there. On our way back, suddenly there was something wrong with the air-cond and I saw the heat meter was pointing at the red box. I quickly stopped at the opposite of 7-eleven Pandan Jaya. I was about to open the bonnet when one Indian guy appeared out of nowhere and asked "kenapa? Kereta rosak ke? At the back of my mind I was thinking how did he know…I might be just checking the engine. I nodded and planned to go to 7-E to buy a bottle of mineral water. He told me he got water and pour into the radiator. The water came out of the bottom of the radiator..the flow like there were two holes. It puzzled me because my car was okay in the morning. If there was some problem with the radiator, there should be some signs. He said he can arrange for repair. I remembered Nora told me, her neighbor have a workshop and just told him need to go to my aunt place…and it's a walking distance. He gave me his number if I decided to repair and mentioned that most of the workshops were already closed. Mindboggling and puzzled, I came to an assumption..my instinct told me that these guys must have tampered with the radiator and had been trailing me. Luckily I used the Pandan Jaya route, if I were to used the Kepong route, they might succeeded in getting the money.

It still pissed me off because I have to fork out extra money to repair the radiator when I also have to pay the house rental and deposits for the house I moved in not to mention other expenses. My budget is very tight this month.

Semua itu telah berlalu
Harapanku palsu
Dan mungkin hari yang satu
Terus ku tertunggu

Di hatiku masih kamu
Belum pernah ku ingin terus memburu

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Tuk dirimu

Namun aku tetap aku
Yang terbaik tuk diriku
Hanya satu
Hanya kamu

Ku membiarkan hatiku
Tuk merinduimu
Ku menghamparkan sakitku
Tuk tatapan kamu

Welcome 2009!

Other are celebrating new year out there. Am down with fever and diarrhea. Can't seems to sleep..it's hot and sweat is rushing out.

Happy New Year!!

Will time heal the pain?

Reading love story books are always a challenge for me. Why? I always ended up in tears..well off course, not every book. Want to know why? I will think of him each time and it hurts. It's hard to shut off the memories. Reading the twilight series were also not an exception. Edward made me think of him so much and I was dragged into the story. I felt the hurt, my throat ached and tried very hard not to let my tears fell when Edward left Bella. Am I obsessed with the story? I guess, I am and Cekya will second that. I see myself in Bella. Sigh.

So, is it true when people say time will heal a broken heart? I didn't see it happening. It has been few years now. Someday I wished that someone will sweep my feet away and carry off the hurt. I still hear his voice and see his face. Truth is, I haven't gotten over him. Do I miss him? Yes, a lot.

"The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under. I did not resurface."
Bella Swan, New Moon. Chapter 3, p.84

Yang terbaik

It has been a while since update. Lots to tell but rasa mcm tak ada mood nak update. Really not in the mood. Occasionally, I think of my dad and how I miss his presence. Sebak. Allah Maha Mengetahui.

Pagi tagi dapat news tentang Ibuk. She passed away last night in her battle against cancer. Aku terdiam kerana aku tahu apa yang Lun rasa saat itu. Kalau aku di SG, pasti sudah aku mendptkan dia. Hanya mampu menelefon dan give her support. Aku harap dia tabah. Pada aku, dia seorang anak yang begitu mengambil berat dan telah melakukan yang terbaik.

"My dearest Lun…semoga tabah menghadapi dugaan ini. You have tried your very best and I am sure Ibuk pun tahu. I am always here for you, always. Things are definitely going to change but take it one step at a time. Hugs and kisses."

On the other continent, kisahnya lain pula tetapi serupa. Pengorbanan. Seorang bapa/ibu terhadap anakanda tersayang, Amir Yusuf. Aku tidak pernah lupa untuk mengetahui the latest news about Amir. Sometimes it made me cry. Bagaimana insan sekecil itu telah menghadapi berbagai dugaan. Yang pasti Amir Yusuf seorang anak yang kuat. Moga Amir Yusuf akan cepat sembuh dan pulang ke rumah.

"Fajar dan isteri..kuatkan semangat. Ramai yang mendoakan Amir, insya'allah."

Aku mengharap 2009 will brings yang terbaik buat semua orang. Amin.

Another year has come and gone;The sands of time keep trickling away

 

Happy Birthday Cekya..

 

 

Birthday Wishes For My Friend

On your birthday,
I wish for you the fulfillment
of all your fondest dreams.
I hope that for every candle
on your cake
you get a wonderful surprise.
I wish for you that
whatever you want most in life,
it comes to you,
just the way you imagined it,
or better.
I hope you get as much pleasure
from our friendship as I do.
I wish we were sisters,
so I could have known you
from the beginning.
I look forward to
enjoying our friendship
for many more of your birthdays.
I'm so glad you were born,
because you brighten my life
and fill it with joy.

Happy Birthday!

By Joanna Fuchs

Kiranya Kau Tahu

Memasuki sempadan Melaka dua hari lalu, hatiku jadi begitu sayu. Ku cuba tahan air mata dari mengalir deras supaya adik aku tidak tahu betapa aku sedih.

Hari ini aku cuba jadi tabah..jadi kuat semangat. Tapi tewas aku dalam kesedihan dan rindu pada Ayah. Kadang-kadang aku rasa ayah masih ada. Tak pernah ayah menunggu aku membuat kuih raya tapi pada 28Ramadhan, ayah menungguku membuat kuih suji sampai 3 pagi. Berborak tentang apa yg di tanam di kebun, berbual tentang pokok yg kutanam. Ayah kata nanti nak tolong kemaskan laman rumah aku. Allah Maha Mengetahui, rupanya ayah akan meninggalkan kami.

Aku rasa hilang. Selama ini, dia lah tempat aku bercerita, bertanya pendapat dan meminta pertolongan. Rindunya. Tak terucap oleh kata. Baru aku faham beginilah Awan rindukan Dadimanya. Emak juga begitu rindukan ayah.

Alfatihah buat Ayah.

Jalinan Kasih

Indah namanya. Adi Armand.

Tahniah Lis dan Ari atas kelahiran cahayamata yang pertama pada 7 Syawal.

Lots of things on my plate

Adakala aku rasa ayah masih ada bersama kami, then reality checks. Terdiam.

Banyak benda yg perlu difikir dan diuruskan...my plate is full. Bilamana aku jadi buntu dan penat I will say to myself if he can do it why can't I.

Aku perlu jadi kuat untuk mereka especially emak. Banyak rasa terpendam. More often than not, aku terasa sungguh keseorangan. Lost. Suzi ada F, Anuar ada S, Lan ada A. Aku? Hanya ada aku.

Hanya yg mengalaminya akan faham.

Alfatihah Buat Ayah

3 Syawal kali ini tak sama dengan tahun2 sebelumnya. Ayah meninggalkan kami semua secara mengejut.

Aku rindu sangat pada Ayah. Rasanya terlalu banyak lagi yang ingin kuberikan padanya.

Sedih untuk bercerita.

Alfatihah untuk Ayah tersayang. Moga Allah merahmati rohnya dan ditempatkan bersama orang2 yang beriman.

Ayah jangan risau, kami adik-beradik akan jaga emak dengan sebaik mungkin.

Yati sayang Ayah.

Buat semua, "terima kasih"

High Hopes

We are sometimes reminded not to put high hopes. Well, can't help it. I am putting a very high hope on this one. Want the job badly. Been praying everyday that i will secure an interview and eventually the job.

Please pray for me too...

"Wishing and hoping

and thinking and praying,

planning and dreaming"

Two people don't think alike

Marah? Jadi tanda tanya. Takkan kerana we don't see eye to eye on the issue menyebabkan kau merasa tidak selesa.

I look forward to tell you what happened yesterday..share something i consider a happy thing. You just logged out without me got the chance to tell. Now dah tak rasa nak bercerita. Just doakan utk saya...

My blogsahabats...pls doakan i juga...nanti wtl belanja @ johnny's or theobrama.

Good Teacher, Bad Teacher

We are blessed to have good teachers, like Jimi and someone I know of, who are very dedicated and have a high commitment towards their responsibilities to educate our kids in becoming a better person in their future lives. I am sure there are a lot of those teachers out there whom we look at with full admiration and wish our kids will be taught by that kind of teachers. I would say my teachers were those who dedicate their lives to the profession and I can still remember them well. How I am grateful to them for what I have become today.

Having saying all these, i can deny out there in the system there are teachers who are plain lazy and couldn't care less about their students. And for the fact to no stern action taken against them..these situations will prolong. My neighbor, Ogy once complained about an English teacher of her son who did not teach him properly and some very prominent grammatical errors were marked correct by her. She brought forward the case to the teacher and her replied was 'terlepas pandang'. I was astonished. How can she make such a mistake? Syakirin was lucky to have a mom who checks his school works everyday and know the English grammars. What happened to those students whom their works are not checked? I wonder.

I got a friend..a teacher friend who complained about his fellow teachers. How they just left their class unattended..give lame reason of things that he/she need to do when what he/she do is only sit at one corner doing nothing or pretending to do something. There are also those who pretend to teach only when the principal is doing her/his rounding. I asked him if the teacher is not teaching it will show in the exam results of that particular subject for sure. That would not be a problem as the kids were given the questions offhand and sure the results will turn out to be a beauty. I was shocked. What will become of our children? What are actions taken against those teachers? They will be given few advices, scolds or transferred to another school. That wouldn't solve the problem at all. I did ask why didn't he considered be transferred to another school and he answer was simple. What will happen to my students if I were to leave. How are we glad there are still good teachers out there.

What is the role of the PIBG now? I know PIBG has played their role but how strong are their views being taken into consideration? Should there be a change management in the school system? What is the JPN and KPM doing about this? I think..my personal view, these problems is more prevailing in suburban than the urban. Something need to be done…and quick.

Just my two cents.

Backseat

i have begin to question myself once more if i made a right decision. I feel like vomiting, feel like crying, screaming etc etc. I don't see my work as challenging anymore...been doing data entry most of time. No challenge at all andit sucks!! How long can i last? Very minimal underwriting work. Some asked me to be patient. It has been 7 months now...how long more can i bear? Yes, the money and the environment are good but at the end of the day, it's all about the job. If you don't have the passion, going to work is like dragging yourself to the death chamber.

I need to really sit down and think of what i want, from there develop strategies as what need to be done.

A Second Blast

After a month of planning and headache, it was a success. The second reunion was held at Holiday Inn with a bigger crowd than before. About 31 of us turned up plus 2 teachers. It was a blast. We had fun catching up with stories of our lives. We agreed that this should be done yearly. Some even suggested we do a family day. Had that in mind too...but let me breathe for a while before come up with the family day thingy.

Linda and Atin..thanks for all your support. This wouldn't happen without your help and strong commitment.

New In Town..

Looks like we don't have to go to London..it's coming to us. Saw it on my way to break fast. Cekya..hope we can get the chocolate you talked about.

Be strong, Be patient

I saw her online today and said to myself 'she is on leave I suppose'. I dropped a few lines saying hi and asked her how is life is treating her. She replied by saying not feeling that well. Later I asked her about ibuk. She just asked me to read her blog. This must be something big. True enough..the cat got my tongue. I can understand how it feels like. It is news that any daughters/sons wouldn't want to hear. She and her family had been through a lot lately. I pray that things will be better for her and her family. She is one really nice lady and she deserve the best in life.

My dearest Lun..be strong for her and take good care of yourself. My prayers will be with you. I am here if you need someone to talk to. Love you girl.

The lrt putra had a track problem yesterday and had to be operated manually. It took us..myself, Cekya and Marissa (my colleague) almost 2 hours to reach KLCC. The train stopped about 15-20 minutes each station. It was really packed and hot. Standing all the way from Kelana Jaya to KLCC was not something enjoyable too..my feet hurts. Can't imagine those with high heels. I know Cekya couldn't wait to get out of the train. She was practically trying hard to prevent herself from vomiting due to someone's body odor. I saw one lady rubbing her nose and later pull her shirt's collar to her nose. The odor must be so strong…yucks.

I have been planning for a second reunion to be held in Melaka. I have appointed a few people to help with the preparation since they are there. It is quite frustrating because it is not progressing as I hope. They have not come back with the updates on the location and price. Linda and I feel somewhat disappointed. She is going back this weekend and plan to check with the hotels there. I am still locating some of our friends and making phone calls on the reunion. Come on guys..both of us can't be doing all. Help us out!!!

HIM - "The most devastating thing happened to me…"

memories of old days

I did post the entry earlier and removed. I decided to post the entry....

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am bored being me…bored with my work, my day to day routine. Need something new, colourful and exciting.

Weeks ago, I was toying with phone when I suddenly saw his old smses..it left me speechless and sad. Brought back the memories and it still lingers. How I wish things will be different. No matter how bad I want to turn back the clock..it is not impossible. He is still in my heart and mind. Whenever I think of him I will try hard not to be sad or cry..so far I managed to do that. Not sure for how long tho…

"you have done so much for me. syg You have suffered enough. I tak tahu mcmana nak balas budi you. You have brought joy and love in my life, I will not forget that. All I can afford is a word of thanks. Let the love rest with me syg."

"if you love me, doa for me. All I need now is your prayers. Buat bekalan nanti"

I haven't hear any news from him..not sure if he is still around. My prayers is with him. How i love him so and my heart still ache

Tea Talk...The Reunion

It was great to see each other after 20 years. We hugged each other and become the noisiest crowd there. Most of us did not changed that much...can be recognised easily. We talked about our schooldays..a bunch of naughty students we were. I am sure our teachers will be proud of us..these naughty students are now doing well in life. We were loud until the chef came and greeted us. He was impressed when we said this is our first meet up after 20-23 years. Friends from UK, Kedah, Melaka texted me asking about the reunion and how they misses us.

13 of us came that day. Chom was first to arrive and checked in the hotel. When i reached the lobby, Anealka was already there. Both of us when to the restaurant and waited for the others. Linda, Emi and Faiz make it there minutes after that, followed by Derk, Suzilla, Fizah, Chom and Blur. Derk told us that Zura can't make it because she was sick. Pity her..she really looking forward to attend the reunion. We helped ourselves with the food while waiting for Roy. Another round of hugging when she arrived. One of us called Atiqah, persuaded her to come which she did later. Roha called me from her office wanting to join as her hubby will be a bit late...

Only 13 of us but we were loud especially when it comes to taking pictures...i can't imagine how it would be like if all 98 of us are together.

It was fun...really really fun and i miss my girlfriends already.

After 20-23 years....

This saturday is going to be great...and i am all excited.

Linda, Emi and I were having our regular meet-up, when we decided to call one of our schoolmate. She suggested that we should meet up on that week but Linda and I can't make it. So we plan to meet her this week. Since we are meeting her, i smsed few of my other friends in KL/Selangor informing them about the meet-up. Then i started to get names of others who are in KL/Selangor...as well as those in Malacca and other states. The hunt begins and the name list getting even longer than what i had expected..this is so, so overwhelming. I didn't know many of my schoolmates are here. So, this two weeks i have been collecting numbers and calling my schoolmates..

With them around here, i have planned for a mini reunion this saturday..from only 6 people, i now have 17 people confirming their attendance. Hoping to get more mobile numbers and attendees. Some of those i haven't seen for 20-23 years. Few of them will be coming all the way from Malacca. I guess this is a kickstart before a grand reunion in the near future.

Everybody seems very excited...i am too. loving it.

Lun...i am also having reunion like you. :) Miss u too girl!!!

be patience..it pays off

Alhamdulillah...tak terhingga. Thanks dearie.