the best is out there

I am honored knowing there is someone who actually notice my capabilities when people in my own department keep a blind eyes and would rather employ outsider than develop the talent within the organization. Had he offered to take me in his department much earlier i wouldn’t be looking for another job and gladly accepted his offer. The opportunity learning from one of the best can be quite tempting. Almost change my mind about leaving but wouldn’t be fair to my future boss because i have promised to join him and he is willing to buy out my two months notice. Another thing at back of my mind was whether can he really pull the string in getting me in when my own department is also shorthanded and the decision is in the hand of the CEO. Say if he does, the environment is still status quo, i will still feel like the low caste employee like what i am feeling now and there is no guarantee that it will change…not for any time soon.

Having a confused mind, i sought to istikharah, seeking guidance from Allah to make the choice of my future. I woke the next morning with a firm decision and did all that need to be done. I am still being bombarded with questions,even today, by my colleague who would be very happy if i joined her department as to what are my decision and trying to convince me why i should take the offer. Later on the evening, received a phone call from the future employer informing my medical check-up went well and they need my joining date for them to issue the offer letter.

I can foresee ‘interesting days’ ahead of me with lots of questions, answers and reasoning to be made to the decision i made.

As so far what i can say is “Alhamdulillah, it all went well”. Allahu Akbar.

---

No longer here

new year, new place
~~ Bubbles of thoughts

Show me the light

About a year ago, a friend told me about a job in Dubai but things weren’t so certain at that point of time whether it’s going to materialize. I then joined the present company..which won’t be long before I tender my resignation (please pray it all go well). I had second thoughts before I handed over my application to my ex-boss. I did ask if the Dubai thingy is definite, still can’t give me solid answer. I had to find another job soon or I will go cuckoo. I’d rather leave than not appreciated.

Just when I am about to go for my employment medical check-up, I was told that the Dubai thingy is on. She wanted my resume, saying the director is looking for his right man and she have me in mind. I gave my word to my ex-boss that I will join them and at the same time I really want the opportunity of working abroad.

Oh dear…I am so in the dilemma!!!

breeze your way

A year ago i had a crush on someone. Yesterday, after keeping it for a while, my good friend broke the news..she is going settle down. With him.

It’s hard for her to let the words out..i know.i am shocked still but what really matters are for both of them to have a blissful marriage.

should i be sad or be glad?

Cakap Memang Senang

My bro is getting married in June and my family have decided untuk upah a cook in order to save the cost. My aunties and uncles disagreed with the idea and prefer catering with reasons tak ada orang nak tolong with the preparation. Konon area my house tu org susah nak datang tolong. Takkanlah duduk berpuluh tahun tak ada org nak datang tolong bila kenduri kahwin. They gave all sorts of reasons. Instead thinking of the ways to smoothen the process, they gave all the negative thoughts and bombarded my mom with it. Damn!!

Really pissed off and sedih. Bukanlah nak mengungkit, when their daughters/sons got married, i really helped them out but bila my bro mcm2 cakap...so much for families!!

Perhaps Cekya is right after all.

***
the doctor has confirmed my fears...sugar in blood quite high. 12.50. Sigh!!!
new lifestyle now...

Oh let me shut my eyes, close out

Something is missing and i just hate the feeling.

Alfatihah for my auntie, Achik Eton. She passed away last Friday.

Bad, bad, bad guys are out there!!!!

I am officially a Pandan Jaya resident now that I have moved there. I am still tired of the moving, unpacking and rearranging. Lots more to go. Probably will finish in few days.

On Saturday, Cekya and I went to Zoo Negara as we had a photoshoot job there. On our way back, suddenly there was something wrong with the air-cond and I saw the heat meter was pointing at the red box. I quickly stopped at the opposite of 7-eleven Pandan Jaya. I was about to open the bonnet when one Indian guy appeared out of nowhere and asked "kenapa? Kereta rosak ke? At the back of my mind I was thinking how did he know…I might be just checking the engine. I nodded and planned to go to 7-E to buy a bottle of mineral water. He told me he got water and pour into the radiator. The water came out of the bottom of the radiator..the flow like there were two holes. It puzzled me because my car was okay in the morning. If there was some problem with the radiator, there should be some signs. He said he can arrange for repair. I remembered Nora told me, her neighbor have a workshop and just told him need to go to my aunt place…and it's a walking distance. He gave me his number if I decided to repair and mentioned that most of the workshops were already closed. Mindboggling and puzzled, I came to an assumption..my instinct told me that these guys must have tampered with the radiator and had been trailing me. Luckily I used the Pandan Jaya route, if I were to used the Kepong route, they might succeeded in getting the money.

It still pissed me off because I have to fork out extra money to repair the radiator when I also have to pay the house rental and deposits for the house I moved in not to mention other expenses. My budget is very tight this month.

Semua itu telah berlalu
Harapanku palsu
Dan mungkin hari yang satu
Terus ku tertunggu

Di hatiku masih kamu
Belum pernah ku ingin terus memburu

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Tuk dirimu

Namun aku tetap aku
Yang terbaik tuk diriku
Hanya satu
Hanya kamu

Ku membiarkan hatiku
Tuk merinduimu
Ku menghamparkan sakitku
Tuk tatapan kamu

Welcome 2009!

Other are celebrating new year out there. Am down with fever and diarrhea. Can't seems to sleep..it's hot and sweat is rushing out.

Happy New Year!!

Will time heal the pain?

Reading love story books are always a challenge for me. Why? I always ended up in tears..well off course, not every book. Want to know why? I will think of him each time and it hurts. It's hard to shut off the memories. Reading the twilight series were also not an exception. Edward made me think of him so much and I was dragged into the story. I felt the hurt, my throat ached and tried very hard not to let my tears fell when Edward left Bella. Am I obsessed with the story? I guess, I am and Cekya will second that. I see myself in Bella. Sigh.

So, is it true when people say time will heal a broken heart? I didn't see it happening. It has been few years now. Someday I wished that someone will sweep my feet away and carry off the hurt. I still hear his voice and see his face. Truth is, I haven't gotten over him. Do I miss him? Yes, a lot.

"The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under. I did not resurface."
Bella Swan, New Moon. Chapter 3, p.84

Yang terbaik

It has been a while since update. Lots to tell but rasa mcm tak ada mood nak update. Really not in the mood. Occasionally, I think of my dad and how I miss his presence. Sebak. Allah Maha Mengetahui.

Pagi tagi dapat news tentang Ibuk. She passed away last night in her battle against cancer. Aku terdiam kerana aku tahu apa yang Lun rasa saat itu. Kalau aku di SG, pasti sudah aku mendptkan dia. Hanya mampu menelefon dan give her support. Aku harap dia tabah. Pada aku, dia seorang anak yang begitu mengambil berat dan telah melakukan yang terbaik.

"My dearest Lun…semoga tabah menghadapi dugaan ini. You have tried your very best and I am sure Ibuk pun tahu. I am always here for you, always. Things are definitely going to change but take it one step at a time. Hugs and kisses."

On the other continent, kisahnya lain pula tetapi serupa. Pengorbanan. Seorang bapa/ibu terhadap anakanda tersayang, Amir Yusuf. Aku tidak pernah lupa untuk mengetahui the latest news about Amir. Sometimes it made me cry. Bagaimana insan sekecil itu telah menghadapi berbagai dugaan. Yang pasti Amir Yusuf seorang anak yang kuat. Moga Amir Yusuf akan cepat sembuh dan pulang ke rumah.

"Fajar dan isteri..kuatkan semangat. Ramai yang mendoakan Amir, insya'allah."

Aku mengharap 2009 will brings yang terbaik buat semua orang. Amin.

Another year has come and gone;The sands of time keep trickling away

 

Happy Birthday Cekya..

 

 

Birthday Wishes For My Friend

On your birthday,
I wish for you the fulfillment
of all your fondest dreams.
I hope that for every candle
on your cake
you get a wonderful surprise.
I wish for you that
whatever you want most in life,
it comes to you,
just the way you imagined it,
or better.
I hope you get as much pleasure
from our friendship as I do.
I wish we were sisters,
so I could have known you
from the beginning.
I look forward to
enjoying our friendship
for many more of your birthdays.
I'm so glad you were born,
because you brighten my life
and fill it with joy.

Happy Birthday!

By Joanna Fuchs

Kiranya Kau Tahu

Memasuki sempadan Melaka dua hari lalu, hatiku jadi begitu sayu. Ku cuba tahan air mata dari mengalir deras supaya adik aku tidak tahu betapa aku sedih.

Hari ini aku cuba jadi tabah..jadi kuat semangat. Tapi tewas aku dalam kesedihan dan rindu pada Ayah. Kadang-kadang aku rasa ayah masih ada. Tak pernah ayah menunggu aku membuat kuih raya tapi pada 28Ramadhan, ayah menungguku membuat kuih suji sampai 3 pagi. Berborak tentang apa yg di tanam di kebun, berbual tentang pokok yg kutanam. Ayah kata nanti nak tolong kemaskan laman rumah aku. Allah Maha Mengetahui, rupanya ayah akan meninggalkan kami.

Aku rasa hilang. Selama ini, dia lah tempat aku bercerita, bertanya pendapat dan meminta pertolongan. Rindunya. Tak terucap oleh kata. Baru aku faham beginilah Awan rindukan Dadimanya. Emak juga begitu rindukan ayah.

Alfatihah buat Ayah.

Jalinan Kasih

Indah namanya. Adi Armand.

Tahniah Lis dan Ari atas kelahiran cahayamata yang pertama pada 7 Syawal.

Lots of things on my plate

Adakala aku rasa ayah masih ada bersama kami, then reality checks. Terdiam.

Banyak benda yg perlu difikir dan diuruskan...my plate is full. Bilamana aku jadi buntu dan penat I will say to myself if he can do it why can't I.

Aku perlu jadi kuat untuk mereka especially emak. Banyak rasa terpendam. More often than not, aku terasa sungguh keseorangan. Lost. Suzi ada F, Anuar ada S, Lan ada A. Aku? Hanya ada aku.

Hanya yg mengalaminya akan faham.

Alfatihah Buat Ayah

3 Syawal kali ini tak sama dengan tahun2 sebelumnya. Ayah meninggalkan kami semua secara mengejut.

Aku rindu sangat pada Ayah. Rasanya terlalu banyak lagi yang ingin kuberikan padanya.

Sedih untuk bercerita.

Alfatihah untuk Ayah tersayang. Moga Allah merahmati rohnya dan ditempatkan bersama orang2 yang beriman.

Ayah jangan risau, kami adik-beradik akan jaga emak dengan sebaik mungkin.

Yati sayang Ayah.

Buat semua, "terima kasih"

High Hopes

We are sometimes reminded not to put high hopes. Well, can't help it. I am putting a very high hope on this one. Want the job badly. Been praying everyday that i will secure an interview and eventually the job.

Please pray for me too...

"Wishing and hoping

and thinking and praying,

planning and dreaming"

Two people don't think alike

Marah? Jadi tanda tanya. Takkan kerana we don't see eye to eye on the issue menyebabkan kau merasa tidak selesa.

I look forward to tell you what happened yesterday..share something i consider a happy thing. You just logged out without me got the chance to tell. Now dah tak rasa nak bercerita. Just doakan utk saya...

My blogsahabats...pls doakan i juga...nanti wtl belanja @ johnny's or theobrama.

Good Teacher, Bad Teacher

We are blessed to have good teachers, like Jimi and someone I know of, who are very dedicated and have a high commitment towards their responsibilities to educate our kids in becoming a better person in their future lives. I am sure there are a lot of those teachers out there whom we look at with full admiration and wish our kids will be taught by that kind of teachers. I would say my teachers were those who dedicate their lives to the profession and I can still remember them well. How I am grateful to them for what I have become today.

Having saying all these, i can deny out there in the system there are teachers who are plain lazy and couldn't care less about their students. And for the fact to no stern action taken against them..these situations will prolong. My neighbor, Ogy once complained about an English teacher of her son who did not teach him properly and some very prominent grammatical errors were marked correct by her. She brought forward the case to the teacher and her replied was 'terlepas pandang'. I was astonished. How can she make such a mistake? Syakirin was lucky to have a mom who checks his school works everyday and know the English grammars. What happened to those students whom their works are not checked? I wonder.

I got a friend..a teacher friend who complained about his fellow teachers. How they just left their class unattended..give lame reason of things that he/she need to do when what he/she do is only sit at one corner doing nothing or pretending to do something. There are also those who pretend to teach only when the principal is doing her/his rounding. I asked him if the teacher is not teaching it will show in the exam results of that particular subject for sure. That would not be a problem as the kids were given the questions offhand and sure the results will turn out to be a beauty. I was shocked. What will become of our children? What are actions taken against those teachers? They will be given few advices, scolds or transferred to another school. That wouldn't solve the problem at all. I did ask why didn't he considered be transferred to another school and he answer was simple. What will happen to my students if I were to leave. How are we glad there are still good teachers out there.

What is the role of the PIBG now? I know PIBG has played their role but how strong are their views being taken into consideration? Should there be a change management in the school system? What is the JPN and KPM doing about this? I think..my personal view, these problems is more prevailing in suburban than the urban. Something need to be done…and quick.

Just my two cents.

Backseat

i have begin to question myself once more if i made a right decision. I feel like vomiting, feel like crying, screaming etc etc. I don't see my work as challenging anymore...been doing data entry most of time. No challenge at all andit sucks!! How long can i last? Very minimal underwriting work. Some asked me to be patient. It has been 7 months now...how long more can i bear? Yes, the money and the environment are good but at the end of the day, it's all about the job. If you don't have the passion, going to work is like dragging yourself to the death chamber.

I need to really sit down and think of what i want, from there develop strategies as what need to be done.

A Second Blast

After a month of planning and headache, it was a success. The second reunion was held at Holiday Inn with a bigger crowd than before. About 31 of us turned up plus 2 teachers. It was a blast. We had fun catching up with stories of our lives. We agreed that this should be done yearly. Some even suggested we do a family day. Had that in mind too...but let me breathe for a while before come up with the family day thingy.

Linda and Atin..thanks for all your support. This wouldn't happen without your help and strong commitment.