Raya Mood..where are thou?

Raya is just 2 days away but somehow i did not feel the excitement. I did not go for raya shopping nor did i bake cookies for myself. I did not even apply for eid leave. The festivy mood haven't kick in yet...until now. My brother and my sister are celebrating eid with their in-laws. That leaves me and my younger brother celebrating eid together. I had plan to celebrate eid in PJ but my youngest brother was not agreeable to it. He wanted to celebrate raya at Malacca still. Not having parents to celebrate raya with really make a big difference in my live. Since my parents passed away, my siblings and i have been spending our raya with my aunties at my late grandfather's house which now is being inherited by Mak Busu. Yes, i am lucky that i have a close knit with my aunties but still it is not the same without my parents around. I envy my cousins at this time of the year.

I hope the i will feel the excitement of raya soon.

Selamat Hari Raya to all. Maaf Zahir Batin. Drive safe ya

How long will it last?

As I grow older, I see and observe a lot and the more cautious I become especially when it comes to finding a partner and marriage. Call me picky, choosy and whatever terms you have. That were some of the words people said for single lady at my age, me not excluded. I strongly believe as men, women also have the rights to choose. It really annoys me when I heard men said single women are choosy and for the actual fact they are choosy too in finding their other half.  Finding a husband is not like buying clothes in the mall. Then again, even in buying clothes, most women are very particular, I am for one. Even more so, in the finding a life partner.  Yeah, we are talking about till death do us part, not till divorce do us part. Off course, we want the best for us.

Recently, I met up with a close friend and she told me that she is going through a divorce process.  I was shocked because I did not smell any problem, all seems going very well. She kept her years of suffering to herself and pretended to be happy. I guess now she had enough of bottling up and time to move on. I did not ask of the details but knowing her for years, I know she must have strong reasons to do so. As a friend, In Shaa Allah, I will be there for her to go through this.

I also saw someone stay in marriage for wrong reasons. I would rather she get away from her mentally abused marriage but I am an outsider.

In my opinion, couple do not have to stay in marriage if they can’t see eyes to eyes in everything and always bickering with each other. Do not use children as the reason to stay in marriage because at the end of the day, the children also suffer. They will grow up and understand. But, if it can be worked out and the couple are willing to do sacrifices to make the marriage works, by all means do it.

These kind of stories has make me feel a bit scared of marriage. So many "what if" questions in my mind. What if i met with a wrong kind of guy? What if it does not last long? I will never know but I believe Allah is the best Planner...just put my trust on Him.

Once you do embark upon the separation or divorce process, it is very important to remember three key things: Be kind, be reasonable, be brief. Remember that this person will no longer be your spouse, but he or she will continue to be your co-parent, family member, and perhaps business partner in certain assets or entities.

Laura Wasser

my homecook iftar

7th Ramadhan. so far i have managed to cook for iftar except for last saturday where i was too tired to cook because i did my uber round. Yes..yes u read it correct. I am one of the uber driver. Will write about it later.

what i have been cooking so far...ermmm a simple dish for one.

thii was what i had for 1st and 2nd Ramadhan.
Ikan Kembung Singgang
Sambal Belacan & Daun Kemangi

4th & 5th Ramadan's menu

Ayam Masak Kurma

Stir Fry Kailan

Yesterday and Today Iftar's menu

Masak Lemak Cili Padi Udang dgn Nenas

Tempe Goreng with Sambal Bilis Hijau & Daun Kemangi

Stir Fry Cabbage and Carrot

Alhamdulillah, this year i did not spend much at Pasar Ramadhan...homecook food still the best. May i will uphold my plan to cook and not going to Pasar Ramadhan. Things are getting expensive. Hope i can continue doing this after Ramadhan. In shaa Allah.

'Sahur'less

Last two year, i was having my iftar and terawih at a mosque in USJ 9 and last year Ramadhan i  was with Cekya as i stayed at her place after the passing of her mom. This Ramadhan back to home sweet home and am happy that the surau at the apartment had its first Terawih after almost 3 years of me staying there. Alhamdulillah. I guess now most of the units has been occupied. The turn up were quite good...this is the chance for us to get to know each other. I hope the committee will organise lots activities for us Muslim. Masjid hopping for terawih also in the list.

I saw people updating what thay had for sahur this morning. Me? i had nothing for sahur. I set the handphone alarm at 5 am but i woke up to my 6.30am alarm. There goes my sahur.

Was planning to have milk and dates for sahur as suggested by Syed Azmi in his fb. Hope for better luck tomorrow.

Was walking to work ans i suddenly thinking of cooking 'ikan masak pindang' and sambal belacan for iftar. A simple meal for one.

never walk alone

Choices we make create our life journey,

be it breathtakingly wonderful or godawful.

Either way, we are not on our own

His guidance and protection will be with us.

Undying support and love from families and friends.

Stranger who become savior

You'll never travel alone..

finding me

lately i have been asking myself what i should do with myself. i feel my job did not satisfy me the way i wanted, my life is somewhat not in place, spiritually imbalance.  There's a lot that i wanted to do until i lost sight of what i really want. Am still searching. I think i am having midlife crisis...mid life crisis of identity

Suffice saying, that i am not satisfied with myself.
I am lost.
At times i want to cry.
Other times, i wish i can walk away from everything.

dire needs of soul searching
in finding me...
help

has any one experience the same?

Andrea Hirata Dan Pasar Kue Jakarta

Last week i went to Jakarta with my partner to get some books ordered by our BukumurahBookbargain's clients. My partner, Liena suggested that we go to Gramedia Matraman as it is the largest bookstore in Indonesia. At the same time, we were told by a fellow traveller, Azzah that Andrea Hirata is launching his new book title "Ayah" there.

We did not expected that we will meet Andrea Hirata in person as our initial plan was to get the book orders and furthernore, we reached there after the event has ended. Then Azzah came and met us, telling Andrea Hirata is at the cafe downstair. Wow, this our chance to meet the renowned Indonesian author who are famous with his Laskar Pelangi novel. A novel that turned into movie and made Belitung Island popular. We took a photo with him and requested him to signed copies of his new books that we bought.

This time around we managed to make our trip to Pasar Kue Subuh at Blok M. It open from 4am to 8am. We went on Saturday but it was quite late. They were about to close. We decided to go there the next day before going back to KL.

So about 4 am, we took a cab to Blok M. The sellers are still rearranging the 'kuih'. All sort of kuih and they were neatly done. I bought some to bring back with the hope that it will still good to eat when i reached KL. Alhamdulillah, they were in good condition till midnight. it is to my liking, not too sweet and just nice. Next time, i need to bring plastic container for the 'kuih'. it will be easier to carry compared with the box.

let me indulge you with the photos

a simple update

I have been blogging in my mind since my last update but couldn't find the mood to type it here. 2 weekends that we full of activities...well spent weekends i must say.

And now, am quite busy preparing 'bunga pahar' for my cousin's wedding on the 1st week of June. It's kind of a last minute thingy...and hope that i am able to finish it on time.

I also have not been bloghopping since my last entry. I saw others have been updating their blogs. After i am done with "bunga pahar", my bloghop activities will resume.

Next weekend i'll be going to Jakarta to get customers' book orders. Just started this online business early this year by accident. The response has been good so far. Alhamdulillah. 

Just a brief update...i'll write more later.

the one I love so dearly..

Seeing FBians wishing Happy Mother's Day to their mother made me want to say Happy Mother's Day to my mom, take her for a fancy dinner, buy her flowers, buy her gifts and so many more. 

It's mere a wish and will not come true. Emak is no longer around for me to do all that. There are times when i felt like calling her, and then realised she has left us.

A strong ladies she was. She like doing business, from a small stall of just selling "kuih-muih" and "rojak" to a small restaurant selling fried rice, fried noodles and etc. She was the cook until she was diagnosed with renal failure with led to 3 times of dialysis per week. Because of that, my parents had to hire another cook. There were still customers wanted her to cook for them, which happily cooked for them. She was on dialysis for 11 years..it was not a short period of time. She followed a strict diet, ate less proteins, control her water consumptions, maybe because of that it lasted for more than 10 years.

Despite of her illness, she still managed to cook our favourite foods and kuih. When Ayah passed away, she was devastated as she has lost a pillar of strength. Everyday mom will cook, bake or buy something to be sent to "surau" as "sedekah" for Ayah. I do not think i am able to do such things. She did it for her love to Ayah.

And now, instead of wishing Happy Mother's Day to Emak, i recite her Alfatihah as a gift.

Alfatihah for my late mother, Mariah binti Yusof

To those whose parents are still around, please don't take them for granted. Life won't be the same without them.

My Mother

Who fed me from her gentle breast
And hushed me in her arms to rest, 
And on my cheek sweet kisses prest?
My mother. 
When sleep forsook my open eye, 
Who was it sung sweet lullaby 
And rocked me that I should not cry?
My mother. 
Who sat and watched my infant head 
When sleeping in my cradle bed, 
And tears of sweet affection shed?
My mother. 
When pain and sickness made me cry, 
Who gazed upon my heavy eye 
And wept, for fear that I should die?
My mother. 
Who ran to help me when I fell 
And would some pretty story tell, 
Or kiss the part to make it well?
My mother. 
Who taught my infant lips to pray, 
To love God's holy word and day, 
And walk in wisdom's pleasant way?
My mother. 
And can I ever cease to be
Affectionate and kind to thee
Who wast so very kind to me,-
My mother 
Oh no, the thought I cannot bear; 
And if God please my life to spare 
I hope I shall reward thy care,
My mother. 
When thou art feeble, old and gray, 
My healthy arm shall be thy stay, 
And I will soothe thy pains away,
My mother 
Ans when I see thee hang thy head, 
'Twill be my turn to watch thy bed, 
And tears of sweet affection shed,-
My mother.

by Jane Taylor

opppss i change the template

Oh my! Oh my!…kenapalah gatal nau tangan usik template setting and now i have changed my layout without saving the old template html code. All the bloggers links are gone..

Me and my itchy hand...

One who feel excited

Bloghopping few blogs yesterday with excitement. It's good to see that my fellow blogger has been updating their blog. Feels like old time. I added their links to my blog for my easy reading. i will keep adding to the list. Not writing for a while, my writing skill is so rusty. Sigh! My observation, most of us start blogging around 10 years ago and stop blogging when FB came around. It's time for a comeback.

Last night i completed 'bunga pahar' ordered by Kak Mas. Tissue flower with ribbons. I will be delivery them to Tanjung Malim this Saturday. Hope they will like it.

Zumba class after work today...first Zumba class organised by the office's sport club. I have been slacking in my daily exercise this week. Need to push myself to be consistent in my exercise if i want to control my sugar and be more healthy.

Blog Revival Day

Thanks to those who initiated ‘Blog Revival Day’. My blog do need resuscitation as it has been idle for quite sometime…a very long time, I must say. I hope with the Blog Revival Day, the blogging arena will become active again.

Ever since the existence of Facebook, the urge to blog slowly thinning and diminishing. Most of us started blogging in 2004 and so did i. I met great people through blogging and few of them are now my blogsahabats, whom I consider as family.

Each of us have stories to tell, we laugh and cry at it but most important we support each other in time of needs. I have been through leaps and bounds in these few years and a close friend whom I know through blogging is always with me until now. The blogging arena has somewhat create a support group without we realising it.

Blogging – where people meet people and strangers become friends.

Positive Change….

Last Friday, my boss called me. A new tasks is being given. I will be heading the A&L Dept with a colleague on top of the dept i am heading now.

Am happy and scared at the same time. Am happy that i was given an opportunity to do something totally new from what i have been doing all these years and scared if i might fail in fulfilling the responsibilities being handed upon me. Looking  at it in a positive way and will act prudently.

On Tuesday, we were hit we another major decision. We are now have to take up the tasks without the staffs for 2 weeks. This going to be a challenge for me. Nevertheless, i am going to do my very best and prove my capabilities. For the trust my boss vested in me, i shall not let her down.

May Allah guidance is with me.

Soul Search

Just sometimes I feel small, lost and numb.
Numb because I want so much more in life
Expected too much and left me feeling frustrated

Maybe I need to do soul searching
Searching what is that I really want in life
Searching ways to correct my relationship
with Him, The Creator, The Best Planner

Maybe then, just maybe then
I shall find peace with myself,

Welcoming 2015

Assalamualaikum...

Memang sudah lama aku tidak really write in here. Rasanya skill untuk menulis dgn baik pun berkarat and tak diasah. Mungkin in 2015, I should blog more often.

Today is the 5th day of 2015. Alhamdulillah, so far it has been great. I was at Janda Baik on new year...with good company. It was fun indeed something I would cherish. But somehow I wish that could share the joy with Cekya...I want her to forget her grief for a while. As I am writing this, I feel the sadness.

Lately, I  am not spending much time with her and I feel so bad. In shaa Allah will try to spend more time with her this 2015.

Not like last year, I have resolutions this year...this is some of it with I hope to achieve.

a. In finding my soul and love my Creator and His Prophet pbuh, I want to
    - Khatam the Quran at least once
    - Attend more kuliyyah
b. Travel more
c. Do more charity

 I shall stop here for now...until dapat momentum to write lagi. Spread the love and not hate.

MBC Redah Penang - Day 1 - Part1

Wow, my last update was in 2012. How long ago is that? Sorry dear blog for not updating, guess I was too carried away with FB (excuses, excuses..hehehe).

Lets blog about my MBC Redah Penang recently.


It all started when Moji put up an announcement inviting those interested to join his trip to Penang. Frankly, initially I was having a bit of inferiority complex and contemplating as to whether I should go or not. Then i said to myself - 'just do it, take risk and go with the flow. This is not your first time meeting with strangers.'

When I told few of my friends that I was going for a Penang  trip with bunch of strangers, they were in awe. Sometimes you just have be bold.

On Friday 31^st October 2014, I went to Puduraya and try to find Ruangan Menunggu A.  I tell you, Puduraya lot so different from the last time I was there. Manage to find the meet up point at the end.  After  twice entering and exiting the meet up point I decided to ask a group of ladies if they are heading for Penang.  The first person I met, Zyra who replied to my question. Then I get to know  Jie and Asri who were kind enough to invite me to have dinner with them. Thereafter, there were exchanges of handshakes and names. But frankly, I lost track of their names shortly after that...my bad.

Few minutes to 12am, Moji arrived with tickets in hand and well as the Hashtee we ordered. After sorting out the tickets and shirts to its owner. Took our first group photos and we boarded the bus. Lets the journey start!

 

I tell you, it has been ages since I last took an express bus. The bus stopped few times because of some problem with the air-conditioning. I sat next to Aila in the bus...a sweet sailor.

Around 5ish am we reach the bus station. Had our breakfast before to the bus station.

After filling our stomach with packed 'nasi lemak', we headed to the bus station waiting for those on board of different bus.

 Linda and Liena took a different bus. Met us in Penang.

 UIA students

 Miah...smiling at someone?

'Satu utk kau, satu utk aku'

 

 

Moji informed that us that Zila and Nani who are supposed to me us at the bus station somehow ended up in Sg. Petani. Luckily, Hafna came to rescue and bring them here.

 

Penang Island here we come....MBC ferry ride.

 



the girls feeling excited  

 

 

 Moji and Nani (all the way from Sg Petani...hehehe)
 

 Zyra 'GoPro' with Dan & Hattasan....smile, caught in camera
 

 Say cheese....and cover your mouth.

 

After half an hour, we reached the island. Need to wait for few more who missed the first ferry trip.

 Guys Talk

 

 Girls talk

 

 Students Talk

 

Us Talking




Ezwan and his phone

 

 

Walking to 'our house' of 2 days

To be continued...





.

let them..

Remarks being passed. I am the wrongdoer in their eyes..people has the rights to their own thoughts. It's better not to say anything, when saying will worsen the situation.

In some part of our life, we will go through a life changing and eye-opening experience. Some that we learnt from and some we didn't. i tend to take something away from this..which i did not before.

Quiet Emotion

I know lots of questions arise at the back of their heads but some things are just better be left unsaid to avoid all possible judgements. It will end up hurting others and myself. Past experience taught me so.


The bond will always be there
the friendship always intact;
But the time for us has come and gone
and the pages of time, you can't turn back.

I will always be a friend to you
and wonder how you are;
The smiles and laughter I will remember
and our fights have become painless scars.

Sometimes on those busy days
when you've a thousand things to do;
Please let me glide slowly through your mind
and spend some time with you.

In that quiet moment
when you're surprised to find me there;
Just remember even with the distance between us
I am still someone who cares.

Quiet Emotions

by Judy Burnette

Infatuate...

it has been a long long time since i feel this way...having a crush over someone. somewhat ridiculous at this age. He do not fit in my selection criteria, even more so he is younger than me but definitely something about him catches my attention.

i should vanquish all these and watch out for the torns...this is only wishful thinking

there..i say it!

Doing it all again....

i got know that the landlord is selling the house on the 2nd week i moved in when the malay couple came to visit. I was told back then the new owner intended to treat it as an investment. It gave me a big relief as my contract expires in November. Today after 4 months, i was told the opposite and what me even furious knowing that they want to move out immediately. The landlord agreed to pay them 2 months rental out of her pocket, giving me the 2 months notice to look up for a new place.

it kinda hit me hard thinking about all the things that i need to do..the packing and unpacking, relocating Astro, the phone and internet line to the new place, not to mention finding a place and transportation...doing it all by myself. I still feel the tiredness from the last moving. That was when i cried and thought how i wish i have someone in my life i can depend on.

maybe i am tired of being alone after all....