Saturday, January 20, 2007


cried twice today. first sebab tengok cerita korea kat astro kirana. about a doctor and a girl with cancer. they fall in love and as usual sad ending. teringat seseorang.
the second time bila tengok norzie and aidid menunaikan haji kat majalah 3. betul-betul tersentuh hati. berdetik kat hati ni..bilakah dapat ke sana. menjadikan aku rindu. ingin menjejakkan kaki di rumahMu, Ya Allah. sebak.

Monday, January 08, 2007

great perseverance

I bid 2006 farewell and welcome 2007 with open arms. I had a great year eventhough there were hiccups along the way. Am much more closer to my blogsahabats...precious and memorable moments with them will always be treasured. Look forward for more. I am now part of Redmedia Team. I have big dreams for Redmedia which i hope will come true one day, insya'allah. We don't need money to dreams, just an imagination.

I thought i would fail QMT, it turned out i got an A- but on the contrary, the paper that i thought i would at least get a B+, i only got B. And i got A for my MIS. Still, i am thankful, Alhamdulillah. This is my final semester...insya'allah by June, i will complete my Master's degree. Can't hardly wait for that day to come. Eagerly waiting. Inside me, i could feel a little sadness..i will for sure going to miss all my coursemates especially my classmates. We been together since 2005, helping each other through difficulties, boosted up each other spirits. We had our fair share of arguments as well..we are human after all, aren't we? I guess all this made us more closer and hearts grow fonder. To my classmate, we shall conquer our final semester and strive to achieve the best.

My right eyes have been blinking on saturday and i wonder who would i possibly meet..someone who i haven't seen for ages. True enough, while queueing up for registration, someone came to me and said "remember me". I looked at her and cracking my head trying to figure out who is this person and has our path crossed. She must be thinking "this girl don't remember me at all, i should say my name" and said "Puan Hendon". OMG...she looked different. Perhaps when i last saw her, she was not wearing a scarf. She was my lecturer during my degree days. She and Puan Rashidah (Dr. now) thought insurance papers. As there were only 2 insurance 3rd and 4th year classes are either with Puan Hendon or Dr. Rashidah. And the fact that only 7 of us in the class, make it easier for her to remember us. She is one of my favourite lecturer..such a gentle person, very soft spoken and it is because of her, i decided to pursue my career in this line and attained my ACII. I am loving my line of work..have no regret. It was great to see her again and i pray that she will succeed with flying colours in he PhD. Hope to see her again..this time for a drink. That would be just lovely.

Once he (she) has noticed the sadness
It never goes away
Makes her cry even more
Because of what her eyes say...

Sad Eyes...

Reminiscing the past. I walked down the memory my grandfather's kampung, where i used to spend my childhood days. Some things have changed and some remain the same. My feelings at that moment..overwhelmed. Never had i imagined that i would walked down that lane again. Fond memories. My aunties and uncles told us their stories..their good old days, during they were kids. How they used to travel to Singapore visiting relatives. They did mentioned a few of the places..just slipped off my mind. At that moment, i thought of my Singaporean blogsahabats...sorry guys, just seems to recall the names.

In the middle of the conversation, i glanced at my mom. She was drifted away in her own circle of thoughts..only God knows what it is. I saw the sadness in her eyes..watery eyes. Hurts me so much looking at her like that and it still does whenever i recalled that moment in time. I saw her being in that state twice that day. She is such a strong woman, she was diagnosed with diabetes when i was in form four or five. Really took care of the things she ate and she is still very particular about it now. No sweet things, bicarbonated soda, sugar cane or durians. I guess when i was in my early years of working, her kidneys failed and have to undergo hemodialysis 3 days a week until now. It has been 6 or 7 years now. She still moves on with courage and strong willpower..i admire that. Her arms now swelling here and there because of the needles.
I am not sure how long she will be around with us (kinda make me sad now as i am typing this). Can't escape from feeling sad. I want her at my wedding. I want my kids to know her. I want her to have the best things in life. I am not sure if i have done enough for her.

Mom, i know i never really said that i love you..deep inside my heart i trully do. I love you, Mak.