Showing posts with label The One I Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The One I Love. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Atok...you are in my heart always

i was eagerly waiting for the weekend as my sister and her family planned to stay over at my place but after midnight i received a call that Atok was in a critical condition. Quickly packed my things and rushed back to Malacca. On the way, i decided to call Achik to check on Atuk's condition but to know that he has left us all. It is not something unexpected considering his old age and health condition but maybe i don't expect it would be so soon.
When i was small i love to watch Atok prepared his roti canai dough and he will sometimes give us a lil bit of the dough for us to play with. I still remember his 'kuah dalca'..it is so yummy and it has been my benchmark for 'kuah dalca' for all roti canai. Still clear in my mind helping Atok at his small restaurant by the beach.
He cooked for weddings including for few of cousins' big day. I love helping him with the preparation and cooking...a good way to develop my passion for cooking. More often than not, helping him has become a great pleasure until one of his helper said that i should get Atok to inherit me his recipes. I guess he has passed down all his recipes to my aunts and eventually down to us, his grandchildren.
His 'basikal tua' brings lots of memories to me...to my siblings and my cousins. It was his main transportation to go about and around. He cycled his 'basikal tua' to his small restaurant, mosque and sometimes visiting his childrens whether at home or stalls. We, the grandchildren love to play around with the bicycle. With that his 'basikal tua' i learned to cycle and my newly bought pyjama was torn because of that.

These few days i heard good things about Atok...poeple acknowledged his contributions to the mosque. One said Atok brought some changes while he was the imam. i also heard my uncle telling my aunt, an ustaz told his jamaah at the surau ( after knowing that Atok has passed away) how Atok still remember surah2 Sajadah at his age of 96. Despite his weak conditions, Atok still performed his prayers. Even an hour or so before he passed on, he told Achik he wanted to perform his prayer..but due the chaotic moment it he did not got the chance to perform his prayer.
My cousins and me sometimes teased him from far by saying "kesian org cina tua tu naik basikal"..this was because Atok's mom (our great grandmother) was from Hong Kong. Even Atok was born there...in Wan Chai. He told me, our great grandfather was HQ was in Wan Chai and he was based there. i guess he met my great grandmother over there.
Atok was shipcaptain before he got himself involved in business but he left his job during the war. Alhamdulillah he quit, the ship then was bombed by the Japanese.
This is not to brag about Atok, just express my admiration towards him and to share my story about him. He is my idol and he will be missed so dearly..



Sunday, March 06, 2011

Letting Go

These few weeks has been quite tough for me. I wanted so very much for thing to be like it used to be but everything seems to fall apart and i can't do much about. It is so frustrating and leads me to feel so helpless. One person i am counting also have give up hope, what is there for me to look forward to. There and then i decided to let go eventhough i know letting go is the hardest thing to. I have been clinging to the idea that one day he and me might be together. I have been comparing everyone i am with to him...not a good thing to do but just can't help it. Now after so so many years, nothing seems to change. Worst, we are so drifted away from each other. It has come to a point that i feel i should not dream for the impossible. Maybe it is not meant to be after all. I never thought that a day would come for me to say goodbye to all of it. Kind of sad but there is not point of holding on to something is not there. Going to be hard to kill the feelings and emotions that have built inside me for years.

There still a lot that i want to let out of my system and say to him but i better just stop here. I pray to Allah to give the strength to get through this.

This too shall pass.



Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Ingin dia tahu

tetiba aku jadi sangat rindu pada dia..and i can't tell him i that
i want him to know that he is still in my mind after all these years.
he will not like it..he would want me to move on.
i did but it did not went that well..in times i missed him so.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Dream and Reality

some of our dreams will never turn into a reality, no matter how hard we tried. it's kinda tough but we got to learn to live with it or forever live in denial.


time to grow up
accept the reality
and move on


fullstop.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Kiranya Kau Tahu

Memasuki sempadan Melaka dua hari lalu, hatiku jadi begitu sayu. Ku cuba tahan air mata dari mengalir deras supaya adik aku tidak tahu betapa aku sedih.

Hari ini aku cuba jadi tabah..jadi kuat semangat. Tapi tewas aku dalam kesedihan dan rindu pada Ayah. Kadang-kadang aku rasa ayah masih ada. Tak pernah ayah menunggu aku membuat kuih raya tapi pada 28Ramadhan, ayah menungguku membuat kuih suji sampai 3 pagi. Berborak tentang apa yg di tanam di kebun, berbual tentang pokok yg kutanam. Ayah kata nanti nak tolong kemaskan laman rumah aku. Allah Maha Mengetahui, rupanya ayah akan meninggalkan kami.

Aku rasa hilang. Selama ini, dia lah tempat aku bercerita, bertanya pendapat dan meminta pertolongan. Rindunya. Tak terucap oleh kata. Baru aku faham beginilah Awan rindukan Dadimanya. Emak juga begitu rindukan ayah.

Alfatihah buat Ayah.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Alfatihah Buat Ayah


3 Syawal kali ini tak sama dengan tahun2 sebelumnya. Ayah meninggalkan kami semua secara mengejut.

Aku rindu sangat pada Ayah. Rasanya terlalu banyak lagi yang ingin kuberikan padanya.

Sedih untuk bercerita.

Alfatihah untuk Ayah tersayang. Moga Allah merahmati rohnya dan ditempatkan bersama orang2 yang beriman.

Ayah jangan risau, kami adik-beradik akan jaga emak dengan sebaik mungkin.

Yati sayang Ayah.
Buat semua, "terima kasih"

Monday, July 14, 2008

memories of old days

I did post the entry earlier and removed. I decided to post the entry....

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am bored being me…bored with my work, my day to day routine. Need something new, colourful and exciting.

Weeks ago, I was toying with phone when I suddenly saw his old smses..it left me speechless and sad. Brought back the memories and it still lingers. How I wish things will be different. No matter how bad I want to turn back the clock..it is not impossible. He is still in my heart and mind. Whenever I think of him I will try hard not to be sad or cry..so far I managed to do that. Not sure for how long tho…

"you have done so much for me. syg You have suffered enough. I tak tahu mcmana nak balas budi you. You have brought joy and love in my life, I will not forget that. All I can afford is a word of thanks. Let the love rest with me syg."

"if you love me, doa for me. All I need now is your prayers. Buat bekalan nanti"

I haven't hear any news from him..not sure if he is still around. My prayers is with him. How i love him so and my heart still ache


Friday, December 28, 2007

So your baby is here! What joy and what pleasure!


As promised, this my niece..little Ivana Marcella. New addition to the clan. Such a sweetie pie. To Yan and Aezril...

A Baby Changes Things

A baby changes things;
They’ll never be the same;
Your life is filled with wonder,
Since your little miracle came.

There’s lots of things to do now,
But with the new tasks you face,
Your family gains more love,
And bonds time will never erase.

Congratulations on your new addition!

By Karl and Joanna Fuchs

Monday, November 12, 2007

untuk dia


untuk si dia yang aku kenal
cinta dan sayang aku padanya tidak akan
pernah padam...buatlah aku tersenyum
dengan bahagiakan dirimu
pejamkan mata aku pasti di sisi

kogi - 9 september

Thursday, October 25, 2007

aku mau



Aku mau mendampingi dirimu
Aku mau cintai kekuranganmu
Selalu bersedia bahagiakanmu
Apapun terjadi
Kujanjikan aku ada

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My Lil Angel

that's my lil angel, isya. she's a big girl now.
how i miss her..

She also likes pink. notice the pink dress and bangle..any similarities Cekya?