As I grow older, I see and
observe a lot and the more cautious I become especially when it comes to
finding a partner and marriage. Call me picky, choosy and whatever terms you
have. That were some of the words people said for single lady at my age, me not
excluded. I strongly believe as men, women also have the rights to choose. It
really annoys me when I heard men said single women are choosy and for the
actual fact they are choosy too in finding their other half. Finding a husband is not like buying clothes
in the mall. Then again, even in buying clothes, most women are very
particular, I am for one. Even more so, in the finding a life partner. Yeah, we are talking about till death do us
part, not till divorce do us part. Off course, we want the best for us.
Recently, I met up with a close friend
and she told me that she is going through a divorce process. I was shocked because I did not smell any
problem, all seems going very well. She kept her years of suffering to herself
and pretended to be happy. I guess now she had enough of bottling up and time
to move on. I did not ask of the details but knowing her for years, I know she
must have strong reasons to do so. As a friend, In Shaa Allah, I will be there
for her to go through this.
I also saw someone stay in
marriage for wrong reasons. I would rather she get away from her mentally abused
marriage but I am an outsider.
In my opinion, couple do not have
to stay in marriage if they can’t see eyes to eyes in everything and always
bickering with each other. Do not use children as the reason to stay in
marriage because at the end of the day, the children also suffer. They will
grow up and understand. But, if it can be worked out and the couple are willing
to do sacrifices to make the marriage works, by all means do it.
These kind of stories has make me feel a bit scared of marriage. So many "what if" questions in my mind. What if i met with a wrong kind of guy? What if it does not last long? I will never know but I believe Allah is the best Planner...just put my trust on Him.
Once you do embark upon the separation or divorce process, it is very important to remember three key things: Be kind, be reasonable, be brief. Remember that this person will no longer be your spouse, but he or she will continue to be your co-parent, family member, and perhaps business partner in certain assets or entities.
