Aku bosan dan tahap motivasi kerjaku dah menghampiri paras bahaya. Seperti kereta yang akan kehabisan minyak. Kalian pun agaknya sudah bosan kerana telah acapkali aku merungut perihal kerja. Mungkin kali ini aku perlu bercerita mengapa aku jadi sebegini.
Masa mula-mula aku masuk the company aku was offered a position of junior executive/junior underwriter kerana pada masa itu aku difikirkan tidak begitu berpengalaman walhal ianya tidak sedemikian. My university junior ( S ) joined the company at the same day i joined the company as an executive. The second week my head of department called and tanya if i can switch places with S since she is not that experience. He said he can't change my job designation at that instance. If i can do the job well, i will be promoted. So i am a junior executive doing an executive work whilst S still maintain her executive title but doing a junior executive's task.
Disember ialah bulan yang paling busy..most renewals are in that month. Disebabkan my immediate superior masa bulan November went on maternity leave so left me alone to review all the renewal files...hundreds of them. I stayed back late, bawa balik files to review at home and came to work on Saturday ( we work 5 days/week ) semata-mata nak siapkan kerja so that by January semuanya settle. I managed to do the job well and my immediate superior acknowledged the fact. She gave me good recommendations masa confirmation evaluation and also my setiap kali appraisals but bila sampai top management, hilang camtu ajer. She is no longer my immediate superior but still try her best to get me promoted..even talked to my boss about it.
Now dah almost 3 years...sekarang ni pulak report to 2 orang boss, so it's like buat 2 executive works. Kalau buat report, kena buat untuk dua orang, begitu juga if budget, underwriting and daily works. Bear in mind that i am still a junior executive.
Ada sekali dulu bila i completed my professional papers, sajalah nak test market and apply tempat lain. I was called for an interview but somehow the top management got to know about it. Perhaps the other party called one of them..maybe because they don't want to jeopardise the business relationship if they were to employ me. I kena panggil dengan one of my bosses and tanya am i not happy and said that the company would rather give me the job i like that to lose me elsewhere. Masa tu rasa di'appreciate' sekejap. So i told him about the whole situation.
Baru-baru ni ada lagi appraisal and sekali lagi i am not being promoted..tension. That boss called me again and asked about the increment and bonus. I said it was okay but i am kind of frustrated because i am still not being promoted. He said he will try to talk to my other boss since he is the one who evaluated me. Till now...HABUK PUN TAKDE.
Lagi satu yang menyebabkan my motivation level goes down the drain because i ada this colleague yang baru joined my department since the company restructure the organization chart ( that why i ada 2 boss ). He is a risk engineer but most of the client ingat i am reporting to him sebabnya i am a junior executive. Sebenarnya we are doing the same job. I jumpa my friends yang ambil the professional papers tu...dah jadi Asst. Manager. Me? Still junior executive/jr underwriter. Banyak lagi kalau nak cerita..cukuplah yang ini sahaja.
Awin asked me to baca doa Nabi Yunus banyak-banyak supaya i jadi okay. According to her, her mom kata kalau rasa macam ada beban yang berat, kalau baca doa itu akan feels better. Doing that now...mungkin aku perlu merangkak untuk berlari?
Persoalannya : Tak patut ke my motivation level turun ke paras bahaya? Apa kata anda?