Something Missing..

Cekya, Awan, Cekmi, Azell and Julie - thanks for the lovely birthday treat. really enjoyed myself that nite.
Cekmi ~ thanks dear. appreciate the gift.

Today my office organized annual golf tournament..luckily this year buat kat KGSAAS. Just 10 min from home as compared to last year, had it atNilai. Me..playing golf? Not yet..i was one of the committee member. The weather was just nice..tak panas tapi turf lah soggy sikit sebab hujan.

Balik from the club, singgah TESCO. Ingat nak beli a few items tapi bila seeing the crowd at the counter, i changed my mind and headed home.

Basically i dah tak ada class, tinggal the viva this 4th...takutnya. Pray for me please. It's good to have my saturdays and sundays back. I got lots of plan at the back of my head but somehow, i feel there is something missing..i miss going to class (minus the exam and schoolworks) and miss my friends. Suddenly, i feel like i am lost and tonite feels so sad..especially bila tengah buat movie strip of my class. I miss them..i really do. Talked to Zam about this and she also felt the same. Wonder about the others...are they feeling the same? My guess..YES. I need to adapt to these changes.

This is so sad...

The day i celebrated my birthday, 32 families lost their loved ones. My heart goes the deceased families. Lives of innocent people are of no values to others..so sad

all will come to an end..

the past few weeks my life had been so hectic. i don't care what happened around me. all i care was to finish my thesis on time. I took a whole week leave from the office last week. Am sure people thought that i was somewhere relaxing and having a good time. how i wish lah kan. the fact was, i spent my days and nights at uitm..trying to get my ABP (Applied Business Project/Research) aka thesis done on time. As mentioned in my earlier posting..i had to do my thesis during the semester and at the same time i got classes to attend to. Lecturer are also not compromising..but can't blame them, they also need us to gave us with assignments as part of the coursework. Unlike the seniors, they have 3 months solely for ABP. Having to do thing in a rush, really test our patience and endurance. Me and Aya slept at the 24 hours discussion room, had our shower at the toilet. A memory to cheeris. A day before handing in the ABP, we did not sleep for 30hrs (that is the time when Cekmi smsed and wish me), had to berkejar to office to print, balik to uitm to rearrange the pages and appendices, pergi kedai for binding and submitted it to the 2 examiners, supervisor and faculty..yes it was a very tiring day for us. So happen, it was the day of my BIRTHDAY. Easy said, i dated my thesis on my birthday and went to sleep after that. A lovely way to celebrate.

My life is like "makan ABP, tidur ABP"...there were times when we had our lunch at 6pm, at 8pm..we were caught up with works until terlupa lunch. I joined up with Aya for this ABP..there were some group of 3 but yang buat kerja 2 orang aje. Yang seorang tu either give very minimal effort or no contribution at all. Macam-macam masalah yang other groups encountered. My group was not an exceptional. Our supervisor was not around to assist us as she was on medical leave after underwent an operation. So, tengok orang jumpa their supervisor on their finding analysis, rasa sedih juga lah sebab tak ada sesiapa nak proof read our ABP. It will backfires us masa viva nanti.

Decided to see the coordinator about our problem. I went to see her in the morning and told her about our problem and she just said your supervisor will be back on Monday. HELLO!!! Monday is the submission date..takkan nak hantar je. Then Aya smsed our supervisor with the hope to see her at home. She replied the sms and asked us to seek help from our coordinator as she is really unwell. This time i went to see her with Aya with a notebook in hand hoping that will have a look at our work. To our dissappointment and anger, she said i tak ada masa nak baca..i ada banyak benda lain nak baca and it is not my line. A coordinator can say as such..she is SUPPOSED to help us yang in need. She called another lecturer, which was our Marketing lecturer to help us. Lepas tu terus sambung her work tanpa giving us a word of comfort. Tau lah dia nak supervise the top student aje tapi being a coordinator you should also have empathy pada the studentsn (so lecturers out there, don't pick and choose). Even some of the lecturers tak faham why do we need to do our ABP in a rush and some even thought that we dah tak ada class and solely buat ABP.

On Sunday, we went to seeDr. S***** . She was really helpful. She even wanted to help us with our power point presentation. Thanks Dr. S*****, you really save us and thanks for comforting us. A group she supervised is having some problem juga..hanya M (from next class) yang buat kerja. Yang 2 lagi habuk tak boleh harap. He did cerita his problem pada Abg R masa friday prayer. We got to know pun from Abg R..memang kesian dengar his story. So lepas Dr. S***** tengok our work, we asked her about M's group. She said if she did not receive anything from the group, maknanya kena deferred lah. Aiyokk. Terus both of us rasa kesian kat M. Takkan sebab 2 sleeping partners tu, M tak boleh grad. Tak patut. Yang group member dia sorang tu at the moment kat overseas and the other one tu hari Sabtu baru jumpa. Yang i geram tu..depa ni bukannya ada class lagi, hanya tinggal ABP aje. Unlike M, still ada class like us and every week ada presentation. If he managed to do his part, why can't them? Some people. Aya said something that i had thought last friday after i heard the story from Abg R..why not let him be in our group? It is unfair for him not graduating for the fault of others. He has done his part, they don't. Called M that nite with our proposal...i guess i rasa segan and serba salah sebab dia masuk our group when it's 95% done. For us, we don't mind. Just want to help a friend.

After the submission, headed back. Kat rumah tetiba rasa 'empty' and sedih. Maybe because these two weeks life been hectic and terkejar sana sini and ABP is the penghujung of 2 years of hardwork. No more rushing to classes to class after this, no more discussion, no more night meetings at uitm and no more suasana hingar bingar class...i am going to miss all that and my foremost, i am going to miss all my frens. Sedih la...

We are arranging a farewell dinner this saturday after the exam...even more rasa sedih.

All good things will come to the end and i hope our friendship will not.

two celebration

to two of my bestest friend in class :-

~ shahri : Happy 35th Birthday man..jgn nakal2, u know what i mean. ahaks. You, Aya n me.. lets go tepanyaki
~ aya : I am happy to be the second person to know after Ikmal, off course. Congrats my dearest..take good care. Hope it's a baby girl.

Hope our friendship remains.

Thanks zel for the lovely cupcakes...

only that for so much effort?

had a meeting on KPI..now kena tambah 2 new KPIs i.e. number of contract rework ( utk kira error lah juga ) and number of errors ( reports ). Rasa macam mmg nak cari silap je. why did i say that? weightage utk risk assessment and number of risk processed is only 2% but utk rework 20% weightage. same goes utk reporting...all my efforts utk buat report cuma diberi 3% weightage but for number of errors 10%. And this two KPIs are only for executive level and assistant manager. Should i even be motivated to look for a new job?

What is Your Best Feature on You??

What is Your Best Feature on You??PICS

Gorgeous Eyes
You have absolutely gorgeous eyes. They have so much depth behind them. You are a true emotional, and romantic. Times get hard, but you will always have that special someone to get you through things. You love to write poetry, and express your thoughts. But your one thing to do is Crying...on the inside and out. You may never realize it, but times will get better, and you'll always have a love waiting for you, if you dont already have one.
Take this quiz!








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welcome little one

I_mshe..congrats atas kelahiran Nuha Alia. U take care and moga cepat sihat. Jangan lupa post her pic and minum air gamat.

i am scared..

went to see the ENT specialist today. This is my 2nd appointment with him. He told me of something that me feel kinda scared. During the first meeting, he took some sample of the infection in my ear and sent it to the lab. Tadi lepas he did the suction kat dalam telinga, he told me that the lab dah run the test of the bacteria and it seems that the bacteria is so strong. The bacteria is resistance to all the antibiotics they tested except for one..yg itu is through injection. I saw a long list of the antibiotics..all coded with R (i saw 2 pages of the list). He did not want to give me the injection..my guess is that antibiotic might be the strongest one. I am going to see him again this friday, to remove the cotton i have inside my ears. Due to mastoic cavity as a result from the mastoidectomy operation i underwent in 1999, the specialist had to put 3 strip of cotton instead of the normal of only one.

i am scared...any suggestion on how to increase the immune system?

a different life

falling in love with this song..

lately going to work it not something i look forward to. not that i don't like the job, i do..it's just that i don't feel the challenge anymore. i feel i am doing a mundane day-to-day work. This most probably because i have been doing the same old job for the past 6 years. i crave for more now. did my MBA do that to me? wanting to explore new things, face new challenges. I want to speak to my boss about it but haven't had the chance to do so. At the same time, i am trying my luck for something totally new...

In contrast with work, this final semester has been the busiest semester of all..barely had time for myself and the lecturer treated us as if we are doing the programme fulltime. So much of work until we feel there so little air to breathe. Every group are required to present 3 chapters of the book...we are practically the lecturer. She just listened, interrupted once in a while and expected us to know the chapter in our fingertips. GIRLS, watch out!!! She will find ways to get you one way or another. GUYS..no worries, you are the lucky ones. She do things the PhD way...aiyok!!! The one who suffers is US. Alhamdulillah, this saturday is the last class..exam day.

In a month or two i will complete my Masters program. It has been a wonderful experience and also a bumpy road as well. I shall miss my classmates, miss the weekend classes, the night discussion and everything related to it. God knows. I am thinking what shall i do next, PhD? I might..but not in this near future.

My Dearest Classmates ( Aya, Shaari, Zell, Zam, Iz, Ismar, Ray, Lan, Abg Zack, Abg Rusly, Abg Mie, Acid, Sham, Mahani, Rizal, Abg Yunos, Shazirul, Suriani, Abd Radzwill, Kak Yan, Zura, Raslan)~ it has been a wonderful 2 years of my life and definitely will treasure those moments. Love you guys.

it's 1.20am and i just reached home from u**m. tomorrow the same thing, work & went to u**m. preparation for the exam. applied for leave this friday, hopefully it will be approved.

KPI...

speechless...

pm : a) i feel like shit
b) i suspected something but how to know for real? { nothing related to (i) }
c) if it is true...and then i will be sad (bukan the kind of lovey dovey punya sad, okay)
d) if it is true...moga dia jumpa jalan pulang.
Period

Things in life

I got tagged by Lun..here it goes.

5 things i would do if i were a millionaire

• Perform haj together my parents & siblings
• Build one yayasan for my families..paid for their educations, medical expenses and charity
  
• Start a business..event planner (Redmedia Event Management..sounds cool), bookstore or art and craft
  
• Travel to places i long to visit..New Zealand, Holland (tulipss..just love them), Oman, Tunis etc etc
• Build house..for my parents and for me. A nice house facing a lake..with gazebo and ada kebun buah-buahan
  

5 bad habits

• Procrastination...bila last minit baru kelam kabut. Study pun mcm tu last minit baru nak revised...baca awal2 tak masuk dlm otak.
  
• glued in front of my notebook for hours..sometimes skip makan
• tidur lambat...tak boleh tidur selagi tak pukul 12am. dah terbiasa since uni days. so not good.
  
• Put myself second. selalu put others' feeling first, then only diri sendiri...
• Tak buat exercise...lama dah tak exercise. kena start balik ni. Fight the kemalasan.
  

5 things i hate doing

• REPORT!!! & MORE REPORT!!! in excel form pulak tu. boleh menaikkan marah
• Basuh baju...washing machine rosak, kena handwash. bercinta betul.
• marah...tak suka nak marah and futhermore tak reti nak get back to people. selalu missed the boat...oh!! i should have said this or that.
• Iron baju..especially my silk baju kurungs. I will take an hour to iron my silk baju kurung and it explains why i jarang wear it.
• Naik lrt yang very crowded like dlm tin sardin pagi-pagi coupled with rude people and the waiting time for the bus at kat lrt bangsar untuk pergi office...urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. talking about efficiency and services.
  

5 things i never do

• watch horror movie...
• bungee jumping and anything to do with height.
  
• suck up to my boss for promotion
• smoke, clubbing, alcohol, gambling and yang seangkatan dgnnya
• guna toilet and letak tissue banyak2 sampai penuh dalam toilet bowl that buat toilet bowl tu tersumbat. This happened okay..byk kali kat office. Dah letak notice pun still jadi lagi. pissed me off betul. nak tahu juga siapa the culprit yang tak ada toilet etiquette.
  

5 things i regret doing

• something sinful juga...moga Allah mengampunkan segala dosa2ku. Biarlah rahsia.
  
• for not giving the very best when i know i could have done better.
  
• Dengar cakap orang onPelan dan Dongakan before masuk the exam hall. cost me my Modern Math result...patut ikut apa yang i faham. SIGH!!
  
• Kecilkan hati my parents...
• tak belajar betul2 masa my first year in uni...affected my CGPA. Had to work extra hard the remaining years. Learnt my lesson after that.
  

5 fave toys/things

• my laptop...need it everyday.
• my cat..Baby. miss her
• my books....esp Kay Hooper's
• bracelets given by my mom and dad
  
• www.walkthrulife.blogspot.com
  

5 person tag

• biahnce
• azell
  
• kurekuresakti
• nana
• nobody

Note: really thot that today is Friday and esok cuti. Sigh!!

sukar

kadangkala apa yang ku rasa sukar untuk diuraikan dengan kata-kata. Sebaiknya biar aku sahaja yang tahu. sukar untuk dimengertikan. kosong

friend bear

visited lun's blog and decided to take the quiz...here's the result

	Friend Bear You are everyone's ideal friend because you are sincere and genuinely kind. Sometimes you worry about your friends' problems so much, you forget about your own responsibilities, which can get you into trouble. For you, it's the little things that really count. You also happen to be the main driver of the Cloud Car. No speeding!
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

hate it when this happens...

i hate it when people jugde you by your looks and not your personality or innerself. especially guys. i love being friends with others, meeting new people but when they treated me that way, it just urggghhhh (am out of words). The first time it happened, it made me feel sad and feeling inferior about myself and i hate that kind of feeling. It still does make me feel sad but the degree of sadness is not as great as before. it happened often enough until i am quite skeptical to meet to new people.

the other thing i despise, is when people compared me with my sister or cousins. so what if they are good looking, keep it to yourself. don't have to tell me that. i don't need to be reminded of that. had enough of it my entire life.

i have to console myself by reminding the good values that i have in me. i don't have the look but i do have the brain. i am still trying to prove that to someone. to forgive is easy but to forget..ermm.

don't you just hate it. what is good look with a bad attitude?

Happy Birthday Dearest Awan..

Birthday Blessings

Instead of counting candles,
Or tallying the years,
Contemplate your blessings,
As your birthday nears.

Consider special people
Who love you, and who care,
And others who’ve enriched your life
Just by being there.

Think about the memories
Passing years can never mar,
Experiences great and small
That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,
So cut your cake, and say,
"Instead of counting birthdays,
I count blessings every day!"

By Joanna Fuchs

Dearest Awan..may you have a joyful birthday and many more to come. Thanks for being such a wonderful person. *hugs*hugs*

brain freeze

today belajar 10 chapter in one go...next week ada exam that covers 18 chapter. It's a one hour exam and after that ada presentation for 3 hours. The next day start new subject.

laziness hits

got lots to update but kinda lazy to do so. life being so hectic with work and study. this is a short semester..apart from the usual class, kena juga siapkan ABP..ala thesis gitu. thot that we kena hantar in june, so ada around 2 mths after the final exam utk finish up but it turns up we need to send the final draft by 31st March and viva on the 29th April. Our final exam tentatively will be on the 15th April. I am far from completing it...95% more to go. Still lots to be done. Interviews, questionnaires, data collections...arghhhhhhhhh. start to feel the tense. don't let me be panic. breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...

rindu

cried twice today. first sebab tengok cerita korea kat astro kirana. about a doctor and a girl with cancer. they fall in love and as usual sad ending. teringat seseorang.
the second time bila tengok norzie and aidid menunaikan haji kat majalah 3. betul-betul tersentuh hati. berdetik kat hati ni..bilakah dapat ke sana. menjadikan aku rindu. ingin menjejakkan kaki di rumahMu, Ya Allah. sebak.

great perseverance

I bid 2006 farewell and welcome 2007 with open arms. I had a great year eventhough there were hiccups along the way. Am much more closer to my blogsahabats...precious and memorable moments with them will always be treasured. Look forward for more. I am now part of Redmedia Team. I have big dreams for Redmedia which i hope will come true one day, insya'allah. We don't need money to dreams, just an imagination.

I thought i would fail QMT, it turned out i got an A- but on the contrary, the paper that i thought i would at least get a B+, i only got B. And i got A for my MIS. Still, i am thankful, Alhamdulillah. This is my final semester...insya'allah by June, i will complete my Master's degree. Can't hardly wait for that day to come. Eagerly waiting. Inside me, i could feel a little sadness..i will for sure going to miss all my coursemates especially my classmates. We been together since 2005, helping each other through difficulties, boosted up each other spirits. We had our fair share of arguments as well..we are human after all, aren't we? I guess all this made us more closer and hearts grow fonder. To my classmate, we shall conquer our final semester and strive to achieve the best.

My right eyes have been blinking on saturday and i wonder who would i possibly meet..someone who i haven't seen for ages. True enough, while queueing up for registration, someone came to me and said "remember me". I looked at her and cracking my head trying to figure out who is this person and has our path crossed. She must be thinking "this girl don't remember me at all, i should say my name" and said "Puan Hendon". OMG...she looked different. Perhaps when i last saw her, she was not wearing a scarf. She was my lecturer during my degree days. She and Puan Rashidah (Dr. now) thought insurance papers. As there were only 2 insurance lecturers..my 3rd and 4th year classes are either with Puan Hendon or Dr. Rashidah. And the fact that only 7 of us in the class, make it easier for her to remember us. She is one of my favourite lecturer..such a gentle person, very soft spoken and it is because of her, i decided to pursue my career in this line and attained my ACII. I am loving my line of work..have no regret. It was great to see her again and i pray that she will succeed with flying colours in he PhD. Hope to see her again..this time for a drink. That would be just lovely.


Once he (she) has noticed the sadness
It never goes away
Makes her cry even more
Because of what her eyes say...

Sad Eyes...

Reminiscing the past. I walked down the memory lane..at my grandfather's kampung, where i used to spend my childhood days. Some things have changed and some remain the same. My feelings at that moment..overwhelmed. Never had i imagined that i would walked down that lane again. Fond memories. My aunties and uncles told us their stories..their good old days, during they were kids. How they used to travel to Singapore visiting relatives. They did mentioned a few of the places..just slipped off my mind. At that moment, i thought of my Singaporean blogsahabats...sorry guys, just seems to recall the names.

In the middle of the conversation, i glanced at my mom. She was drifted away in her own circle of thoughts..only God knows what it is. I saw the sadness in her eyes..watery eyes. Hurts me so much looking at her like that and it still does whenever i recalled that moment in time. I saw her being in that state twice that day. She is such a strong woman, she was diagnosed with diabetes when i was in form four or five. Really took care of the things she ate and she is still very particular about it now. No sweet things, bicarbonated soda, sugar cane or durians. I guess when i was in my early years of working, her kidneys failed and have to undergo hemodialysis 3 days a week until now. It has been 6 or 7 years now. She still moves on with courage and strong willpower..i admire that. Her arms now swelling here and there because of the needles. I am not sure how long she will be around with us (kinda make me sad now as i am typing this). Can't escape from feeling sad. I want her at my wedding. I want my kids to know her. I want her to have the best things in life. I am not sure if i have done enough for her.

Mom, i know i never really said that i love you..deep inside my heart i trully do. I love you, Mak.

Funny..

• What you don’t know can’t hurt you, unless it’s an open manhole just ahead.
• There is no place like home, though next door’s quite similar.
• People who live in glass houses should buy curtains.
• Curiosity killed the cat. At least, the dog said so but he doesn’t have an alibi!
• Revenge is sweet – so does it rot your teeth?
• Laughter is the best medicine, except when treating asthmatics.
• Bad news travels fast but bad smells tend to linger.
• It’s no use crying over spilt milk, your tears just add to the mess.
• All roads lead to Rome, which is annoying if you were just going to the shops.
• Ignorance is bliss so you must be ecstatic!
• He who hesitates is… erm… uh… y’know… ooh… um… er… thing… er…
• "Don't try this at home" is a polite way of saying, "THIS IS A STUPID THING TO DO."

Get this from Beano.