New Direction

there are so much to tell but i am somewhat lazy these days to blog about it. been a lazy bum i just posted song lyrics in my past 2 entries.

My brother, Anuar got engaged on 3rd raya. I got to know about it when on last day of Ramadhan. It was a very simple engagement ceremony since his fiancee's dad just past away 2nd week of Ramadhan in his sleep. Alfatihah.

Remember the SCL thingy..i submitted the letter on Thursdays, first week after raya. The day before i got a call from someone asking me if am i still interested to join them but for a lower post. Was quite surprised because earlier she said there will an opening only in January. I guess this is my rezeki. Without hesitation i said yes. Went for the interview on the arranged date and the next day she called me up and said i got the job. Alhamdulillah. I was so happy and smiling the whole day through. One morning my immediate superior called and asked me if i heard of anyone leaving the company. OMG..did she actually know? I mentioned one of my colleague's name and avoiding to let her know as i have not get my letter of offer. She later called Maddy seeking for confirmation. Only our bosses did not know that i was leaving but he did smsed from Bali wanting to know who else will be leaving and they did not tell him. Surprise..surprise.

The D-day finally arrived. the convocation went well. with smiles all over our faces. we didn't thought that we made it. many of us planned to quit, myself without exclusion. to my surprise one even went to the office to sent the form with the intention to quit but unfortunately the office was closed. he have no other choice but to continue with the second semester. had he managed to sent the form, we wouldn't see having a big smile on the convocation day. When we first started there we about 37 of us in the class but only 14 managed to complete on time and graduated. To all my beloved classmates..WE MADE IT THROUGH GUYS. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I tendered a 3 months notice of resignation effective today after signing the offer letter yesterday. Am i happy? I definitely am but at the same time feeling kind of sad knowing that i will be leaving friends that i have known for the past 7 years..friends that i become close with. i shall miss them but i guess i need to think of my future nevertheless.

untuk dia

untuk si dia yang aku kenal
cinta dan sayang aku padanya tidak akan
pernah padam...buatlah aku tersenyum
dengan bahagiakan dirimu
pejamkan mata aku pasti di sisi

kogi - 9 september

kerana dia bukan kamu

Pejamkan Matamu - OST 9 September

kupejamkan mata
kau hadir di sisi
ku hulurkan tangan kau sambut dengan kasih
tenangkanlah hatimu
agar bisaku senyum

Pejamkanlah matamu jika rindukan wajahku
ku pejamkan mata..kau hadir disisi
bisik mesra darimu menyemai kasihku..
bahagiakan dirimu..agar bisaku senyum...

pejamkanlah matamu
kupasti di sisi
untuk dikau kasih ku curahkan cinta suci
yang tak mungkin terpadam
akan terus membara

bahagiakan dirimu
agar bisaku tersenyum
pejamkanlah matamu
jika rindukan wajahku
janji ku kepadamu aku pasti di sisi

**
Sukar utk digambarkan perasaan aku di penghujung filem 9 September..mungkin tidak menjangka sebegitu 'ending'nya. Yang pasti ia mengundang rasa sebak yang teramat sangat dan wtl tidak mampu langsung menahan airmata menderu jatuh. Until i had to calm myself down. Pasti orang yg melepasi kami perasan mata and hidung wtl yang merah kerana menangis. Tiada lagi rasa malu..aku berhak atas apa yang aku rasa. Thanks Cekya for the understanding. terlalu sukar menafikan apa yang wtl rasa..terlalu sukar

"because he is not you"

aku mau

Aku mau mendampingi dirimu
Aku mau cintai kekuranganmu
Selalu bersedia bahagiakanmu
Apapun terjadi

Kujanjikan aku ada

Wish For A Rainbow

For all the bad things that had happened, good things will come my way...that is for sure. Positive mind.

Doakan wtl...

Langit dan Awan

Dari kecil aku suka melihat langit. Melihat kepulan awan yang pelbagai bentuk dan rupa. Putih , bersih..mengingatkan aku pada 'cotton candy' setiap kali. Seolah ada satu lagi dunia/negara di situ. Setiap satu seolah ada kisah yang hendak disampaikan. Ia memberikan aku satu rasa yang sukar diungkap, satu ketenangan. Sudah agak lama aku tidak berbuat demikian. Mungkin kerana perhatianku kini lebih tertumpu di jalan raya daripada menikmati keindahan langit dan awan. Apatah lagi aku acapkali pulang ke rumah bila matahari sudahpun terbenam. Mungkin juga sejenak aku terlupa dengan keindahannya. Karambunai..itulah paling akhir aku memandang langit dan awan dengan begitu asyik. Luas terbentang. Captivating.

Petang tadi aku dalam perjalanan pulang, aku berkesempatan menikmati keindahan langit dan awan walau seketika cuma. Ditambah pula dengan pelangi petang . Aku rindu. Rindu melihat langit dan awan.

Aku hanya ingin duduk memandang.

Show cause letter

Pagi2 tadi ada satu email yang really pissed me off. Kurang pahala puasa ku hari ini...pagi-pagi dah curse berbakul-bakul. Yang wtl tak paham orang lain pun ambil EL by informing their peers and subordinates tapi they pick on me. If nak imposed the rules, impose lah kat semua orang..not only towards certain person. Memang cel*** punya perempuan

I think what happened to me is more to a personal attack because i replied to her email and one quite harsh email that was accidently sent to her. Before i went out of the office, she called me and handed a letter. I was required to write a show caused letter stating the reasons for my two earlier EL applications within 7 days from the issuance of the letter which is today. It was signed by my CEO. Failing to do so, a disciplinary action will be taken against me. What the fucking shit is going on here? As far as i am concern, my boss don't have any problem with me taking the EL...why are they making so much fuss out of it. Orang lain pun ambil EL..tak kena pun tulis show cause letter. This is shitty shit.

If memang betul tujuan dia untuk to get back on me..I won't forgive her, never, never in my life.She tarnished my employment record. If i got a better offer elsewhere, i will sure that it will be made known to her of it. Biar it lingers at the back of her mind.

Saat ini i really wish that i got a better offer elsewhere...

It pissed me off..really pissed me of. Damn it!!!!

doakan

Doakan wtl moga berjaya to secure an interview with them and eventually the job.

Happy Birthday, Azell and Wati

Celebrate The Miracle

Of all that makes you YOU.
Count a blessing for each candle
Have your cake and eat it too!

Unwrap this day and savor it
And all the love that's there
Send a dream-wish straight to
Heaven on the wings of prayer

Remember what a blessing you are
Even after this day is gone.
You're a gem, a priceless treasure
Let yourself shine on!

Taken from :
Absolutely Poetry

Azell : Hope you have a great celebration...age is merely numbers.
Wati : Age is merely numbers...have fun. Thanks for being a great cousin. See you at kampung this raya.

Want A Ride..

Stumbled into this cute hello kitty car masa nak beli kuih for berbuka kat Pantai Kundur few weeks back. Teringat cekya...because of the pink colour. Would you go this far?

Sekadar Perlu

terlalu banyak yang ingin diperkatakan, juga rasa yang ingin diluah. tapi aku fikir tak perlu diceritakan segalanya, ianya tak akan pernah habis seperti kisah sang penglipur lara yang tiada penghujungnya. cukup sekadar yang perlu-perlu sahaja. sukar mencari prasa untuk menguraikan rasa ini. sebaik sahaja ku biarkan ia tersimpan. aku juga tidak mahu walau sekelumit rasa bosan di kalangan kalian yang membaca.."the same old things over and over again".

jangan kalian salah sangka, aku bukan membuat pertuduhan. kalian terlalu baik. cuma aku tidak mahu terjadi sebegitu, bila tiba rasa bosan itu wujud. aku tahu perasaannya bila mendengar ujaran yang hanya sekadar berbahasa. hilang sudah keikhlasannya.

so, sekadar yang perlu-perlu sahaja.

In the list

of recipient...alhamdulillah.




14th Nov 2007...

morning stanza

2.30am and eyes open wide.
wide awake and so alone.
alone creates loneliness.
loneliness of the heart.
heart in despair.
despair of love.
love hurts.
hurts me.

wtl
2.30am, sg buloh

**saying goodbye to Kota Singa each time were not easy. there were the certain kinds of feelings. Felt like i left behing few pieces of my life puzzle.**

Diam

Berada dalam keadaan diam itu kadangkala begitu meresahkan jiwa. Hati berkata dan tertanya.

From His Album..

Lagu ini memberi sedikit sebanyak memberi kesan..i personally think this is his best album so far. Worth the wait.


Tak Lelah - Anuar Zain
Composer/Lyricist : Numata

Tak lelah
Kau beri sgalanya
'Tuk yakinkan ku
Kau sayang padaku
Hingga kau
Taklukkan diriku
Membuat ku tersedar
Ku t'lah merasakan sesuatu

Di saat ku mulai sayang
Di saat ku mulai cinta
Kau yang hilangkan rasa untukku

Chorus
Sedih yang mesti ku pendam
Rasa yang menjadi hampa
Ku jalani semua
Walau cinta kini tak berarah

Kau pergi tak beralasan
Tak seperti yang ku pinta
Ku menunggu tiba waktu kau ucapkan
Kau sayang pada ku

Tiada jodoh

Mungkin benar kata mereka berdua aku tiada jodoh dengannya. Buat kali kedua, ia terjadi lagi dan kali ini aku benar-benar kehilangannya. Apa yang hendak kukatakan lagi..aku perlu bersetuju dengan mereka. Handphone hilang. Called my number tapi tak dpt dihubungi. Baru sahaja beli 1G memory card rm60 tadi. Aduss..memang org tu dah ambil. I am hoping bulan puasa ni terbuka hati orang tu memulangkan handphoneku. Doakan sama ya.

Let it be...

Biarpun apa kata mereka.

Biarpun sakit telinga mendengar.

Biarpun pedih hati menerima.

Biarpun terkadang sukar untuk kutelan.

Biarpun mereka masih melihat luaran.

Aku masih bersyukur dengan kurniaanNya.

Syukur dengan kekurangan diri

Itulah menjadi tonggak kekuatanku sedari dulu.

Syukur. Syukur. Syukur. Alhamdulillah.

the thoughts that count

monolog..

"bebaskan aku

dari keadaan ini

sempurnakan hidupku

dari rapuhnya jiwaku

adakah seseorang

yang melepaskanku

dari kesepian ini"

8 Random Facts

I have been tagged by Blalang. Ingatkan adegan tagged meng'tagged' dah tak ada lagi. Here goes..first kena post the rules..

THE RULES:
1. Each blogger must post these rules first.
2. Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they've tagged, and to read ur blog.

Random fact no. 1



Green tea. I like green tea..suka banget. Tak tahu kenapa begitu suka dengan green tea. I am liking it a lot. Anything with associated dgn green tea definitely akan dapat my attention. Antara things yang pernah i have or once have or even tried are ice-cream, ice-blended, body lotion, body soap, canned or bottled drinks, boh ice green tea, toothpaste, perfume and off course the tea itself. Am i crazy or what!! Talking about ice-cream, hari tu ternampak green tea ice-cream kat Giant. Akan beli for sure.

Random fact no. 2


Books...bila ditanya apa my favourite pastime, i akan jawab reading. Some were smart enough to make a remark "you are such a boring person." How boring can it be...books bring you the a journey yang berbeza. Each book have a story to tell..samada menarik atau tidak. That's explain why the survey kata malaysian read less than 5 books a year. how sad. I love reading since i was small...still loving it. I still have the first book i bought and now with my 9 years old nephew. Ingat i baca buku tu kat my late grandma's house. I will to buy at least 2 books a month..tu yang rak buku dah melimpah ruah and i am one of the Malaysian Bookcrosser...

Random fact no. 3


Talkative. I like to think i am that kind of person...in a good way (hopefully others pun fikir macam tu). Nak kata terover peramah tu taklah kot but i rasa i have no problem bercakap dengan orang i baru kenal. Lebih-lebih lagi if orang tu pun sama talkative.


Random fact no. 4



Music. Suka dengar lagu..sekarang ni mostly lagu indonesia. Malaysian artist boleh dikira dgn jarilah kot yg i suka. It's not that they are not good but indonesian are more better. hahahaha. I can listen to almost everything but taklah rap, heavy metal, remix and perhaps hiphop. Why..so not in the trend ke? Well setiap orang ada their own liking kan. Suka juga dengar Richard Clayderman..very calming and also not forgeting gamelan..suka,suka and suka (jgn tak caya, i ada cd gamelan). Talking about music..my fav. song of alltime is "More Than Words" by Extreme. Mungkin kerana the lyrics as well as the music...for me jika selalu mengungkap kata cinta akan membuatkan ia kurang bermakna if compared when it is said when you least expected it..shweet. Itu apa yg i rasa, org lain mungkin sebaliknya.

Random fact no. 5
Silence Treatment. I tak suka nak argue dengan orang...sebab i tak reti how to balas balik apa yang they said. Later baru kata to myself, i should said this or that. Most of the time i akan diam..especially bila i marah. Lagipun mungkin malas nak prolong all these buat sakit kepala aje. I think this make people take advantage of me sebab depa tu ingat i macam tak kisah dgn apa yg they buat or said. i will try to avoid any argument if possible but i can be very sarcastic at times..but very rare occasion. I was once a hot tempered person...believe me. Masa sekolah2 dulu..my friends will not talk to me if i marah. Nanti tak pasal-pasal, dia orang yang kena marah. That was then..now i am not that person..tend to take things much easy.

Random fact no. 6

Procrastinate. Very bad habit. I tend to do this sometimes. Quite often than not. Especially during study..somehow my brain ni if study awal-awal masuk tak masuk dalam otak apa yang dibaca. Bila last minute tu okay ajer penerimaan otak. Lepas tu mulalah regret..i can do even better if only i revise much earlier. Itu perkara biasalah kan.


Random fact no. 7

Poetry. One of the earliest poem yg ingat i belajar is "The Story of Augustus who not have any Soup". seingat i either masa std 5. Kena baca kat depan class.. "Augustus was a chubby lad; Fat ruddy cheeks Augustus had; bla bla bla.. "O take the nasty soup away! I won't have any soup to-day: I will not, will not eat my soup! I will not eat it, no!" dgn gaya-gaya sekali. Tersenyum sorang bila ingatkan. Then, years later Kak Sunida (wonder where is she at the moment..) wrote a poem in my book that i cherish until now. It somehow develop my love towards poetry once again. Suka poetry but tak pandai sangat nak tulis.. My fav. poetry.. 'IF' by Rudyard Kipling.

Random fact no. 8

Horror Movies. Tak suka tengok horror movie sebab it will haunt me for days. Also movies yang ada violences and suspence elements...boleh pecah dada. because of this, i always being teased by my cousins. Setiap kali i went to their place masa tu lah nak tengok horror movie. adusss. apa lagi sorok muka belakang bantal. I suka tengok investigation series macam CSI, Criminal Minds, Numb3rs, Bones etc etc.. Teringat pulak cerita TJ Hooker..masa tu gila tengok Adrian Zmed. Can still remember his name.

Ini sahaja yang dapat dicoretkan disini...now i have to list 8 names pulak. And the awards go to..

1. Cekya
2. Ligo
3. Lun
4. Awan
5. I_mshe
6. Azell
7. Cekmi
8. Jimi