sukar

kadangkala apa yang ku rasa sukar untuk diuraikan dengan kata-kata. Sebaiknya biar aku sahaja yang tahu. sukar untuk dimengertikan. kosong

friend bear

visited lun's blog and decided to take the quiz...here's the result

	Friend Bear You are everyone's ideal friend because you are sincere and genuinely kind. Sometimes you worry about your friends' problems so much, you forget about your own responsibilities, which can get you into trouble. For you, it's the little things that really count. You also happen to be the main driver of the Cloud Car. No speeding!
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

hate it when this happens...

i hate it when people jugde you by your looks and not your personality or innerself. especially guys. i love being friends with others, meeting new people but when they treated me that way, it just urggghhhh (am out of words). The first time it happened, it made me feel sad and feeling inferior about myself and i hate that kind of feeling. It still does make me feel sad but the degree of sadness is not as great as before. it happened often enough until i am quite skeptical to meet to new people.

the other thing i despise, is when people compared me with my sister or cousins. so what if they are good looking, keep it to yourself. don't have to tell me that. i don't need to be reminded of that. had enough of it my entire life.

i have to console myself by reminding the good values that i have in me. i don't have the look but i do have the brain. i am still trying to prove that to someone. to forgive is easy but to forget..ermm.

don't you just hate it. what is good look with a bad attitude?

Happy Birthday Dearest Awan..

Birthday Blessings

Instead of counting candles,
Or tallying the years,
Contemplate your blessings,
As your birthday nears.

Consider special people
Who love you, and who care,
And others who’ve enriched your life
Just by being there.

Think about the memories
Passing years can never mar,
Experiences great and small
That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,
So cut your cake, and say,
"Instead of counting birthdays,
I count blessings every day!"

By Joanna Fuchs

Dearest Awan..may you have a joyful birthday and many more to come. Thanks for being such a wonderful person. *hugs*hugs*

brain freeze

today belajar 10 chapter in one go...next week ada exam that covers 18 chapter. It's a one hour exam and after that ada presentation for 3 hours. The next day start new subject.

laziness hits

got lots to update but kinda lazy to do so. life being so hectic with work and study. this is a short semester..apart from the usual class, kena juga siapkan ABP..ala thesis gitu. thot that we kena hantar in june, so ada around 2 mths after the final exam utk finish up but it turns up we need to send the final draft by 31st March and viva on the 29th April. Our final exam tentatively will be on the 15th April. I am far from completing it...95% more to go. Still lots to be done. Interviews, questionnaires, data collections...arghhhhhhhhh. start to feel the tense. don't let me be panic. breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...

rindu

cried twice today. first sebab tengok cerita korea kat astro kirana. about a doctor and a girl with cancer. they fall in love and as usual sad ending. teringat seseorang.
the second time bila tengok norzie and aidid menunaikan haji kat majalah 3. betul-betul tersentuh hati. berdetik kat hati ni..bilakah dapat ke sana. menjadikan aku rindu. ingin menjejakkan kaki di rumahMu, Ya Allah. sebak.

great perseverance

I bid 2006 farewell and welcome 2007 with open arms. I had a great year eventhough there were hiccups along the way. Am much more closer to my blogsahabats...precious and memorable moments with them will always be treasured. Look forward for more. I am now part of Redmedia Team. I have big dreams for Redmedia which i hope will come true one day, insya'allah. We don't need money to dreams, just an imagination.

I thought i would fail QMT, it turned out i got an A- but on the contrary, the paper that i thought i would at least get a B+, i only got B. And i got A for my MIS. Still, i am thankful, Alhamdulillah. This is my final semester...insya'allah by June, i will complete my Master's degree. Can't hardly wait for that day to come. Eagerly waiting. Inside me, i could feel a little sadness..i will for sure going to miss all my coursemates especially my classmates. We been together since 2005, helping each other through difficulties, boosted up each other spirits. We had our fair share of arguments as well..we are human after all, aren't we? I guess all this made us more closer and hearts grow fonder. To my classmate, we shall conquer our final semester and strive to achieve the best.

My right eyes have been blinking on saturday and i wonder who would i possibly meet..someone who i haven't seen for ages. True enough, while queueing up for registration, someone came to me and said "remember me". I looked at her and cracking my head trying to figure out who is this person and has our path crossed. She must be thinking "this girl don't remember me at all, i should say my name" and said "Puan Hendon". OMG...she looked different. Perhaps when i last saw her, she was not wearing a scarf. She was my lecturer during my degree days. She and Puan Rashidah (Dr. now) thought insurance papers. As there were only 2 insurance lecturers..my 3rd and 4th year classes are either with Puan Hendon or Dr. Rashidah. And the fact that only 7 of us in the class, make it easier for her to remember us. She is one of my favourite lecturer..such a gentle person, very soft spoken and it is because of her, i decided to pursue my career in this line and attained my ACII. I am loving my line of work..have no regret. It was great to see her again and i pray that she will succeed with flying colours in he PhD. Hope to see her again..this time for a drink. That would be just lovely.


Once he (she) has noticed the sadness
It never goes away
Makes her cry even more
Because of what her eyes say...

Sad Eyes...

Reminiscing the past. I walked down the memory lane..at my grandfather's kampung, where i used to spend my childhood days. Some things have changed and some remain the same. My feelings at that moment..overwhelmed. Never had i imagined that i would walked down that lane again. Fond memories. My aunties and uncles told us their stories..their good old days, during they were kids. How they used to travel to Singapore visiting relatives. They did mentioned a few of the places..just slipped off my mind. At that moment, i thought of my Singaporean blogsahabats...sorry guys, just seems to recall the names.

In the middle of the conversation, i glanced at my mom. She was drifted away in her own circle of thoughts..only God knows what it is. I saw the sadness in her eyes..watery eyes. Hurts me so much looking at her like that and it still does whenever i recalled that moment in time. I saw her being in that state twice that day. She is such a strong woman, she was diagnosed with diabetes when i was in form four or five. Really took care of the things she ate and she is still very particular about it now. No sweet things, bicarbonated soda, sugar cane or durians. I guess when i was in my early years of working, her kidneys failed and have to undergo hemodialysis 3 days a week until now. It has been 6 or 7 years now. She still moves on with courage and strong willpower..i admire that. Her arms now swelling here and there because of the needles. I am not sure how long she will be around with us (kinda make me sad now as i am typing this). Can't escape from feeling sad. I want her at my wedding. I want my kids to know her. I want her to have the best things in life. I am not sure if i have done enough for her.

Mom, i know i never really said that i love you..deep inside my heart i trully do. I love you, Mak.

Funny..

• What you don’t know can’t hurt you, unless it’s an open manhole just ahead.
• There is no place like home, though next door’s quite similar.
• People who live in glass houses should buy curtains.
• Curiosity killed the cat. At least, the dog said so but he doesn’t have an alibi!
• Revenge is sweet – so does it rot your teeth?
• Laughter is the best medicine, except when treating asthmatics.
• Bad news travels fast but bad smells tend to linger.
• It’s no use crying over spilt milk, your tears just add to the mess.
• All roads lead to Rome, which is annoying if you were just going to the shops.
• Ignorance is bliss so you must be ecstatic!
• He who hesitates is… erm… uh… y’know… ooh… um… er… thing… er…
• "Don't try this at home" is a polite way of saying, "THIS IS A STUPID THING TO DO."

Get this from Beano.

One Day In Your Life - MJ

When i heard this song...i have a name in my mind and this goes to him. Eventhough things have changed, you are still someone special to me.



One day in your life
You’ll remember a place
Someone touching your face
You’ll come back and you’ll look around, you’ll . . .

One day in your life
You’ll remember the love you found here
You’ll remember me somehow
Though you don’t need me now
I will stay in your heart And when things fall apart
You’ll remember one day . . .

One day in your life
When you find that you’re always waiting
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I’ll be there

You’ll remember me somehow
Though you don’t need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You’ll remember one day . . .

One day in your life
When you find that you’re always lonely
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I’ll be there

dia yang dulu

kenapa?

hati sayu..

any particular reason?

ermm..ntahlah. tiba-tiba rasa macam tu.

pelik juga..org rasa sayu mesti bersebab..

kenapa perlu berubah?

siapa?

dia, dia, dia dan semua

pantai pun berubah..kenalah terima that people changed

dia ini buat i rasa that i don't matter anymore, dia itu buat me rasa down and imperfect.
aku mahu yang dulu.

u know it is impossible..

why can't just hate them...

u know why, u are not that type of person.

sigh!!

our story...

Lots had happened. Want to blog tapi kemalasan melanda. Met up with Cekmi and Cekya. Had our dinner dekat Secret's Recipe. It was fun and meeting up with blogsahabats never failed to make laugh. always look forward to see them.

My boss dapat invitation untuk saksikan the lauching ofMeasat 3 and she can extend the invitation to one person. She asked me if i want to go. Belum lagi kata ya..tapi showed interest. Will have to be at KLCC Convention Centre by 6am or 6.30am at most. Still thinking should i drive or should i take the lrt..which reminds me that i need to check when is the earliest train.

This week, infact for the whole of December, memang sibuk kat office. Renewal seasons and also lunch appointments will the clients. Next week pun ada few lunches. There goes my diet. hihihi. Talking about lunch appointment...last friday i had a lunch appointment at a Japanese Restaurant in Kompleks Antarabangsa. On my way out, i bumped into someone..someone that i had not meet for quite sometime. We looked at each other without saying a word or a smile. Maybe dia pun terkejut like me. Lagipun we never exchanged a single word pun dulu. i had a crush on him..memang suka tengok him. I guess he pun perasan kot that i like him..mana taknya if he passed by me while waiting for the commuter, my housemate akan cepat-cepat kata "kak, abang yang akak suka tu lalu". malu. i liked him so much that one day i saw him balik kerja and took my viewcam untuk tape him. i am not a stalker..trust me. unfortunately, the viewcam kena curi when someone broke into our place. anyway, it was sure nice to bump into him. put a smile at my face. shared this with cekya.

on the same day, tengok cerita CINTA with Amar, Awin and Kak Liza. ada few scenes yang made cried..and off course masa lagu anuar zain. really sebak.

ku mengerti perpisahan ini
bukan kerana kau membenci
tapi kasih yang pernah ku beri
tiada lagi bersama

sering kala aku terlihatkan mu
impian nan indah julang bahagia
ku harungi hari demi hari
bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali

tapi hati masih tak terima
ditinggalkan sengsara

keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
perasaan hati masih rindu
kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku
tercari-cari bayanganmu

tak sanggup aku kehilangan
kehilanganmu

aduh...i felt the hurt, the sadness. the storyline was simple, an everyday life event but yet it still mampu menyentuh hati. as long as we are human being, those stories are our stories. we relate ourselves to any of those 5 stories or one of those 10 peoples. i am sure. there are some nice quotes in the movies. want to see it again. the soundtrack definitely..a must have thing.

semalam stayed indoor..too lazy and tired to go out. spring cleaning my room. rearranged the bed and dressing table. i like the new arrangement..more space. nampak mcm the room tu besar. today, pagi2 Lin called and we decided nak pergi tengok movie. nak ajak Lin tengok CINTA but Cathay Cineplex tak show CINTA. So daripada tengok Cicakman baik tengok Dejavu. Nice movie..action movie. ada ala2 travel through time gitu. Val Kilmer is the nice guy this time..he is with the FBI. He gained weight, pipi pun dah chubby.

something i learn..

Just discover the photo editing techniques using Picasa. Still learning and am planning to beli cd photoshop. now can boleh actively ambik gambar and update my fotopages every now and then.

better service....

waited for KTM commuter for almost 30 minutes yesterday. they should by now know the trend and when is the peak hours. parked my car at shah alam commuter station after when to lodge a report to tnb. yes guys, the power supply overloaded again, and this time, my remote ceiling fan, streamyx modem and light bulb became the victim. tension banget..washing machine pun belum berbetul lagi and now this.

back to the commuter's story, one thing that i really don't understand dari dulu sampai sekarang is the attitude of Malaysian yang tak sabar-sabar nak board the train sampai tak bagi way for those who nak keluar. just couldn't understand. i should have parked my car at kelana jaya and took the lrt. you guys must be wondering why i didn't drive to work. since fasting month i don't have any parking space as new parking operator took over and priority given to the tenant of the building. the parking fees increased from rm150 to rm251. i ended up parking at the open space for rm11 per day 9 which i have to leave the car key, if i am late ) or in the office basement parking at rm20 per day. tak tahan.. dengan tol and minyak lagi, boleh bankrupt den.

so last week i decided to commute using public transport..like before. park my car at lrt kelana jaya. take the lrt to bangsar and then rapidkl bus to the office. never mind the hardship..at least boleh save sikit.

cekya in london, awan just came back from sg, cekmi went to pd with his students, i_mshe and lun at home..bestnya. me stuck at the office, not allowed to take leave in december and need to submit my Applied Business Research's proposal by 27th to MBA coordinator. am still struggling with it with no proper guidelines. they should have listed nama-nama lecturer for each area of study. taklah terkial-kial nak cari sebab we all ni bukannya semua former uitm student. also bagilah contoh the proposal that we need to submit. i had to call the fulltime student untuk tahu the format. nak cari organization and get their approval lagi. we are part time yang don't have that time luxury macam full time student. hope i can finish my proposal before 27th.

lun - comel betul kimi tu.
i_mshe - how are you gurl? miss talking to you.
cekya - have fun in london and lotsa & lotsa pictures.
azell - sorry didn't make it to your open house..proposal tak siap.
cekmi - can't wait your posting on pd trip. nanti kita arrange picnic okay.
awan - love tompi..great voice and nice songs.
tatot - senyap je?
emmy - everything okay gurl?

eagerly waiting for this movie - Cinta. dah plan nak tengok dgn amar and awin. also nak tengok the Red Kebaya

till then..bye

being single

most friends are happily married with kids or without, some goes separate ways and a few lost their loved ones. When i think of this..i never fail to wonder what the future will brings for me. how will i spend my old days? alone in an old folks home or with my loved ones? the question remains unanswered and i feel so alone. don't get me wrong, i like being single. i can go anywhere i want without having to answer to anybody. i can do what i feel like doing without having any hesitation. on the other hand, there is something missing. A person i can call my other half, my companion and my best friend. Someone i can turn to at any time..a shoulder to cry on, someone who can put away my difficulties with a smile and a laugh that brightens my way.

Often enough we heard people said i love being single, i hate commitment and the like. i bet there will be times when they will feel what i am feeling now. Perhaps what they said is only a cover up. who knows.sigh!!

wish of my heart that i will meet my other half...

Black Clouds

the rain is pouring heavily outside and i am now stuck in the office. i do not dare to drive in this kind of weather. Need to change my glasses...my astigmatism has increased. Did not notice that the condition is getting bad until the 1st raya. It was raining like cats and dogs on the eve of 1st raya. Was at my grandad's place since morning ,so i decided to go back to my parents' place after the maghrib's prayer. I can't see the road clearly because of the rain and was blinded by the carlights from the opposite direction. I missed the first left turn, and the second and third alternative route just because i couldn't see all the left junctions to my parents' house. It was so dark to me. I ended up driving another 300 meters, made a right turn to a shoplots area and exit to the opposite direction and home sweet home. sigh.

i bet some places are flooded...Shah Alam without exclusion. Zam called telling me to go back before it is roads are flooded and i told her that i can't drive in this kind of weather. Just have to wait. perhaps by that time, the rain has stop and traffic has ease a little bit. From the glass window, i can see it is still heavily raining.

I am on now semester break so i have more time for myself. nevertheless, it doesn't mean that i can simply enjoy the time luxury. I need to sumbit my ABP proposal by this November 27th and still thinking of the topic , am a little clueless. As told by Cekya, i had my QMT final exam last sunday. It was supposed to be a 3 hours exam and finish at 12.00pm. The lecturer came late, we started around 9.30am and should end by 12.00am but by 12.00pm, we were told to stop typing or writing. When we asked for time extension and our request were brushed away. I did not manage to complete my answers and so was the rest of my classmates.Off course we wouldn't as the time shortened by 30 minutes. Arghhhhhh. Zel told him the exam is supposed to finish at 12.30pm and he just said nothing. One thing i am not satisfied is that he should have told earlier that we just need to answer the questions using Words without the results. This will saved us a lot of time from having to cut and paste the results generated by the QMT software to Words. Also not to mentioned the time we take to adjust the alignment, to add tables and all. He told us that we just need to put the answers and the generated results in one folder and that we don't need to paste the results in Words.

doakan

it's almost 1.30am and i just got back from uitm. had some discussion. QMT final exam this sunday..still lost my way. tak tahulah macamana nak jawab the exam. yang pasti these 3 days i will be spending my time kat uitm. sebenarnya memang takut..tak terkata. individual and group assignment kena hantar this sunday juga. nak nangis rasanya. doakan wtl ya kawan-kawan.

Dearest Lun - congrats on ur new born baby boy.

Kenangan Terindah

Buat dirimu di sana. Adakah ini bermakna aku sudah bisa melepaskan mu pergi walaupun sayang itu masih ada di hati?



Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang tlah hilang darimu
Yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun
Aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

Darimu...
Kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku...
Kau lah cinta sejati

Ooh...

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang tlah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Ooh...

Lost

These few days, bila malam aje sakit kepala. Tak tahu kenapa. I am still having selsema..dah almost 2 weeks. Haze is one of the sebab and also keadaan office yang sejuk sangat.

This saturday, need to hand in QMT assignments and the take home test. Tak tahu nak buat..this the toughest subject for me so far. And i tak tahu how to do it. My classmates pun been asking around siapa yang dah siap. Never in my life, from the beginning of class sampai the end i tak faham apa...this week is the last class. Last Sunday, ada midterm, took me and most of my classmate almost half an hour trying to answer the questions. Feel really lost.

So Very Rude

last tuesday, when i wanted to do my laundry, i noticed that my washing machine couldn't be swtiched on. just bought the washing machine in may..takkan cepat dah rosak. then i realised that my astro decoder pun tak ada power at all. weird. The next day, i went to ask about lin's pc kat adik yg jaga cc. he told me a few pcs kat cc rosak sebab pencawang tnb rosak and few of the college students punya notebook meletup.
That explained why the washing machine and astro tak boleh pakai. he also told me tnb guy came and took reports on the damages. la..tak tahu pun.

so i decided to call tnb careline 15454. A guy picked up the call and gave me TNB Bangsar phone number and asked me to call the 'perkhidmatan pengguna'. Called the number on friday but no one answered the call. Yesterday i tried calling that number again. A girl answered the call, without i even finished explaining, she hung up the phone. I tried calling the second time and the same girl answered,before i can even finished saying 'boleh saya bercakap dgn perkhidmatan pengguna or pelanggan, she for the second time hung up on me. Due to the need to report, i called the number..yes again, for the third time. This time, without even i could say anything..she just hung up. How rude is that. I still have the patience in me...bulan puasa katakan. Dengan sisa kesabaran, i called again. This time, another lady answered the call, she asked me to call 15454. Told her i have already called the number and the guy gave me this number. She later gave me TNB Shah Alam number to call and report. Called but no one answered, so i called TNB Bangsar again. I asked her if there is other number, sempatlah juga kata 'your careline gave me this number and you asked me to call that number balik. i have been calling this number 3 kali and the girl that answered the calls hung up on me. Mungkin lepas dengar i said that she tried to help me.

The TNB website, don't help much...plus 15454 careline sepatutnya ada unit that ambil report for bahagian tuntutan or CRO. get the needed details from the customer, process it internally and sent it to the respective branch or unit. Not forgeting the RUDE TNB worker yg hung up on me 3 times...tak ada manners langsung, pergilah kelas that teach telephone etiquette. sorrylah biah..tapi that girl memang overboard. geram betul.

Addition...

Talking about rudeness, this guy memang very rude. dahlah ambil hak cekya tanpa bagi credit to her, masih have the nerve to use vulgar words marah cekya. dia ingat dia duduk scotland tu, dia boleh berlagaklah. this is the type of people i call 'melayu mudah lupa'. susah sangat agaknya nak bagi credit kat orang. his ego is bruised, tu yang marah sangat...tapi suit him right sebab dahlah tak mintak permission tu satu, tak even give credit to cekya. i pun geram kat dia.


p/s :- still having very bad cough and sore throat.