be patience..it pays off

Alhamdulillah...tak terhingga. Thanks dearie.

Had a bad day last Friday. Never thought that a friend that I have known for the past 23 years would lashed out her anger at me. She said that we (my 2 other friends and me) bitched about her and boycotted her and that we be her friend when it is a laughing matter but not when she is down. I was stumped and hurt with what she says and still is. How could she even said that..we helped her find a job when she kept on complaining about her job. She turned down the job offer as Legal Manager..that was what got us disappointed. Maybe we are a bit pushy but it doesn't mean we have bad intentions. We are happy if she is. My friend want to have a meet up this Wednesday and I don't think I want to turn up.

Sent my car for a wash and when it was all done, I noticed that my Hush Puppies shoes were not in the car. Went back to the carwash and asked them. As I had guessed..

Everything that’s in it

Is it a good move? Environment and salary wise, no doubt it is. Work wise…it's not something that I am enjoying at the moment. My work is more to administration rather underwriting. Underwriting is only 10% as compared to admin work. I miss my previous job, it's the environment that I don't miss. I am trying to be patient but when I see one of my colleague is learning lots of new things from her superior…I can sense the envy feelings inside me. I have asked one of my superior to teach me things I need to know about treaty and nothing happened. I miss the major renewals..in fact as I was typing this, he is doing all the works by himself. I am lucky to get the chance to do the 10% underwriting work..that is when if he is really bogged down with work or when he is on leave.

Today, I got the shocking news. My ex-boss tendered his resignation. I never thought that he would ever leave the company…I was wrong. It is said the offer was too good to decline. Good for him. I guess he was approached by whoever it was long time ago..before I resigned from the company. He hinted me once about him not going to be long and I replied by saying I would leave first. True enough. If he would ever ask me to join him, I for sure will consider. In fact, I did text him..winks, winks.

The other day, my dad passed out for a while at a pump station near Ayer Keroh (abt 20 minutes from house) and he called my mom to fetch him as he couldn't ride his bike home. My mom had to asked my neighbour's son to drive her there. It was during peak hour…lunch time. My mom was a bit late. No one offered to help out, luckily, one of neighbor happened to pass by to refuel his motorcycle. He called my mom and she him that she is on her way. When my mom reached the pump station, she saw my dad was in bad condition. He said he has been vomiting and had to stop few times and at the pump station he just too weak to move. He did want to go to the hospital and opt to go to clinic instead. The first clinic they want to go was closed. So, they went to another clinic. The doctor said that my dad has food poisoning. What really annoyed me is that no one help him while he was lying there. So much for "Caring Malaysian". To hell with that!!!!

mental block...blearghhh!!!

Yes, it has been quite sometime since my blog was last updated. Seems like there is nothing much to say..no tale to tell.

Now, i am cracking my head my to write next. better leave it as it is.

Chao baby!!!

Clueless

Need to do something to make my job interesting .Damn…I am bored...sebab tak banyak kerja. I have to practically think of what to do next. Is this one of those days that u rasa u wanna scream your heart out? ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Called my dad before balik. He was at the hospital and when i asked him who was warded, he just replied..nothing to worry. I rasa sure my mom yg masuk hospital. True enough. My dad hantar to the emergency last night sebab she had difficulty breathing. He said now dah okay..dah boleh makan. I did ask him why tak beritahu. He said tak teruk sebab tu tak beritahu...alahai ayahku ini. Sabar jelah. I know he meant well, tak nak us to worry but i would prefer that he would tell tak kira teruk or tak. Doctor said boleh keluar in 1-2 days time. I am going back this weekend. Doakan my mom sihat okay..

where has the rainbow gone

That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

almost everyday i ask myself over and over where did i go wrong. all my apologies didn't mean a thing? 3 years of friendship just went down the drain. i am not asking for much, just what are my mistakes until you shut me off. One day i wish, that we will be friends again. Until that one day comes, you will always be on my mind and prayers.

We have 2 photo jobs this weekend..and few jobs in this months. I have butterflies flying in my stomach. Insya'allah we will do fine. Going to be a tiring month but worthwhile.

Losing someone...

"If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
Id take back those words that have hurt you
And you'd stay"

Losing a friend is never easy..especially those who you share your happiness and sadness with. It is even harder when you eagerly want to share something with her/him and only to notice that she/he is no longer there for you. When a friend become a total stranger, it really sad. It sucks..big time!!!

Been there...and i wonder if i am the one who are overreacted. Ummmhh, i just don't know...i feel numb. Certain things are hard to explain...much more easier to just swallow.

I am supposed to go to Anugerah Planet Muzik with Cekya...got the VIP seat tickets. Did some shopping but still need to buy few things when Cekya called me telling me she can't make it as her aunt had passed away in a car accident. I meet her few times during the monthly tahlil at Cekya's house. All 6 people in the car (including the kids) were injured. Ika, Ira and Mai sustained either a broken land or arm..Mai on top of that suffered a fractured skull. The news really shocked me and i don't feel like going to Anugerah Planet Muzik. Lets pray a speedy recovery for all of them, especially Mai and Alfatihah buat Arwah Ngah.

A year older..

A year older....a year wiser? Not sure..but what i can say i am definitely more mature in my way of thinking and more careful in my actions. I have a fair bit of achievements that i am proud of..way to go gurl. Still, there are rooms to be even better and things that i want to achieve.

Thanks for the wishes.

Wouldn't have thought....

I have been wanting to go to Petronas Gallery as the Matahari exhibition is being held there but keep on delaying. Today with full determination, i walked under the hot sun to KLCC (so not me..) with the high hopes.My mind was focussed on going to the gallery and will just skip lunch. To my disappointment, the exhibition ended two days ago and the gallery is temporarily closed in preparation for another exhibition. Sigh!!! Lesson learnt...don't procrastinate, you will miss out a lot. So, decided to have lunch instead, all by myself.

After lunch, i went to Times and saw Cecelia Ahern's new book is already in store. Definitely to get my hand on that book. Since i still got a lot of time to spare, my next stop was Isetan. At first thought of buying green tea soya bean, but then i just settled for a bottle of creamy green tea. Need to tell Cekya about the book but i kind of forgot the title, so i went back to Times. I can just look through the glass for the book title but i seeing him there at the counter paying for some stuffs he bought, i decided to go in..and just want to see him from a short distance. You can say that i am one of his fans. Others would for artists but i don't. Maybe my interest for crime fictions and series, made me admires him. If I am crazy enough (not crazylogicpopstar aka rene), i would just go towards him and saying hi, letting him knows that i am one of his fans. But being me, i not the daring type. It really made my day and i was smiling all my way back to the office. It was a blessing in disguise..for the gallery being closed today.

New routine..new experience

"Telah jauh terpisah, diriku dan dirimu,
Dalam ruang dan waktu,
Sendiriku jalani sepiku, tanpa dirimu,
Resahku tanpa hadirmu,
Sungguh berat hatiku untuk merasakannya"


It really has been a while since update..not taking into account my previous entry. My life surely has been quite hectic. Next week will mark my second month with the new company. It has been a joyful ride. They are nice people..alhamdulillah. I am reporting to 4 people...but i don't mind. Perhaps like people say if you are happy with the environment, you will find ways to manage all that. One thing i notice, those people are very knowledgeable at what they are doing, very technically sound and things are at their fingertips. I am impress..still am. I hope i will get to learn from them. I meet-up with Cekya even more frequent now that we are nearer to each other...usually after office.

I have to admit it was quite tough at beginning. Not so much on the work but on the travelling. It took me 2 hours to reach the office and another 2 hours going back...and don't let me babble about the train. Sometimes i felt like crying because after a long day at work, taking a fully packed train..standing all the way from KLCC to Kelana Jaya, i still need to drive for about 30-40 mins to reach home. No more reaching home at 6.30pm. Now i am quite used to it already and furthermore next year we will be moving out to our own place in Bangsar..so for now, just bear with it.

Yesterday i got to know something that made me annoyed. Still remember the b**** that gave me the show cause letter? Well, someone asked her why i abruptly left the company and her answer was 'she is slacking'. If i am slacking, then why my former supervisors told a broker that he lost a very good assistant to a competitor. Even the broker admitted that and told about it to somebody else. Damn you b****!!!

lazy me

it has been a while since i last updated this blog. what are my excuses? i don't have any good excuses but lots of lame ones. Perhaps these is one of those moments..i am not in the mood of updating, apart from the laziness to construct sentences. lots to tell actually. about my new job, new routines..new boyfriend..kidding!!. Perhaps this saturday or sunday i will write about what are happening lately.

Hot! Hot! Pants On Fire

As most of Malaysian, the poll outcome took us by surprise and i am quite content about it. I am neither a supporter nor am i an opposer it but as a the 'rakyat' of this country, i want to see whether the new political platform will bring about the changes the rakyat has been longed for. What are the future will be for Malaysia? We will see. For the first time, the Barisan won with a simple majority with 5 states are now under the opposion/coliation party. I never took interest in the poll results before but this time around i stayed until 6am. All of us took interest in the result especially after Nurul Izzah won at Lembah Pantai and saw many opposition candidates won their seats, not forgetting those who lost including Samy Vellu. This is a very painful lesson for the ruling party who are rather arrogant and complacent with their positions and never thought that the rakyat will actually go for the opposition. They underestimate the people power, failed to address the frustrations of the rakyat let alone tackling all issues in a more comprehensive manner . Voters are more mature now. They want their voice to be heard. The sunday's poll outcomes have surely said it all. For the opposition party this is the time for them to walk the talk. Like the others, i am looking forward to see whether the check and balance that being created by the people will be materialised. If before it was easy for the ruling to gain 2/3 majority in most decisions, now they have to put a hard fight with the opposition party. Those were being elected now better have a right formula to serve their community or will be facing the same fate in the next election. We want to be listen, we will be watching and appraise you in next 4 years.

If I Enjoy It..Yes

i need a lunch partner. I guess i will be eating alone until the new girl report for duty..i am in lun's shoes now. Apart form this, it has been a bliss.

I have to wake up much more earlier than before so that i will have the parking space at the lrt station and take train to work. As usual, the train is jammed pack with all the commuters with ur butt against others and can smell the smell especially after work..let's call it after work cologne. One which i don't understand why didn't they provided more coaches during peak hours to alleviate the overcrowding trains. And sometimes during your lucky day you can hear the train personnel say.."masuk dalam, masuk dalam". How can we go in when we can't even freaking move. sigh!!

And on the way to the office, passing by the KLCC park, watching people jog and looking at the scenery, the craziness in the train seems to fade away as i take a deep breath enjoying all of it. It's like i am living the moment.

First Day On Board of...

Today is my first day with the new company and i am writing this from the new laptop..it's too early to say. From what i have gathereed, they have been waiting for me to come as there are lots of things need to be done. So far it has been good. Went for an appointment with the client just now. Tomorrow there will be a lunch appointment with another client. I already have 41 emails in my inbox with the first one dated 13/12/07..while i was still with the previous company. Training for the client next week, a visit from a broker ( a familiar face).

Looking for a new beginning..

Sempurna...di matamu

It's good to be back. I will tell about the trip in the next entry.

Andra & The Backbone - Sempurna

kau begitu sempurna
di mataku kau begitu indah
kau membuat diriku
akan selalu memujamu

di setiap langkahku
ku kan selalu memikirkan dirimu
tak bisa ku bayangkan
hidupku tanpa cintamu

* janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
takkan mampu menghadapi semua
hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

reff:
kau adalah darahku
kau adalah jantungku
kau adalah hidupku
lengkapi diriku
oh sayangku kau begitu
sempurna, sempurna

kau genggam tanganku
saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
kau bisikkan kata
dan hapus semua sesalku

**thanks for the song, love it**

Happy Birthday Awan Putih

For a good friend and such a sweet person..

On Your Birthday
by: Unknown

May your spirit keep the freedom
of a butterfly in spring
and your heart be filled always
with the joys of simple things.
May your essence claim the freshness
of the new laid morning dew.
All of this...and more...
is my Birthday wish for you.

I Bid Farewell..

Salam and Hello everyone,

It's always hard to say goodbye. I shan’t say goodbye but I’ll say see you around instead.

Sadly, after over 6 glorious years in this company, today's my last day at LR. It is with mixed emotions that I send this email. As some of you know, I have accepted a position at another company. It was not an easy decision to make because I truly enjoy working with all of you here at LR. There are so many people to name, I just don't know where to start. Thanks so much to everyone who made it worthwhile: the time we shared, for making work fun and the word, "family" a reality, for sharing the knowledge, for support, insights and help I gained over these 6 years, and most important the bond of friendship, making my stay such a wonderful journey.

To Fac Dept, keep up the good work. As to II and MZ, you guys are the best and doubt will ever find bosses as great as both of you anywhere. Thanks for everything.

Please do keep in touch, I can be reached at my personal email address or mobile,

Thanks again for everything. I wish you plenty of smiles, blue skies and fluffy white clouds-now and always.

It's hard to believe it's time to go
Leave this way of life, spread our wings and grow
Say goodbye to those friends that we hold dear to our hearts
Shedding tears for we'll be so far apart
Remembering all the good times and even the bad
Including the fights we sometimes had
Through the tears and the pain
Friendship was our gain
We stuck together through sunshine and rain, laughs and shouts
We found out what true friends were all about
So as our senior year comes to an end
We'll carry in our hearts our special friends
And take with us all the memories that were made

**going to office still tomorrow**

Ramblings

Been busy with work. I plan to get the Fac Database be ready before i leave. i have done necessary and now waiting for my colleague in Bahrain to do add in what is required of the database to meet our requirement. I am hoping him to revert by Monday in order for me to brief all the other staff and kick it off. Now i am not sure if i can get it done before or on my last day of work. People says work will be less once you have tendered your resignation especially the last few weeks. I beg to differ...i am still doing the officework. My boss have even told me to check the bordereaux prepared by colleague this monday. With the database thingy on my mind i feel my work are unsettle. Going to have a divisional lunch tomorrow..basically a farewell lunch for me.

Emotionally, it sucks . Just i am feeling sad and had to confess i was feeling kind of lonely. You never hear me saying it before and it's the truth. Now..now i sound so pathetic. Had a good chat with my sis on the way back to Malacca. We never been close, let alone to share our stories. That night we shared our little stories. I am glad that she can think wisely now, mature and have all her senses. She said few things that made me wondered about something...sigh!!

Whatever it is..i am off to Bandung and Jakarta this Thursday.

Chequer'd with woven shadows as I lay

Another 15 days and i will saying adieus, ta-ta, bye to my friends and the office. There is nothing much to be done in the office. I have handed over my portfolio of to Mekna effective 1st Jan. and transfered some of the knowledge to her...what she needs to know and what needs to be done. It is impossible to learn what i have known for the past 3/4 years in a month. I guess she will learn more and grab the knowledge along the way like i did. I will be guiding her while i am here, no doubt about it. Still got work to do, a little bit here and there... kind of lazy and only see to it when i feel in the mood to do so..how bad of me. And knowing the fact i will be surfing the net most of the time whilst the other are occupied, make me feel quite guilty... It also instill laziness in me of going to work every morning. Some say that i shouldn't bother doing the works and enjoy the moments.

Last week my boss asked if i have packed my things. Told him that i have not..well, the matter of fact i did empty my workplace drawers. Lots of junk papers..what do you expect after more than 6 years been here, seating at the same workplace. I have packed my things in two A4 boxes and are still here. I need empty this workstation by next week. Bringing back all the books and notes. A few more boxes, desktops i bought form the office. This means more stuff in the storeroom (like i have one). I have also notified all the clients, local and overseas that i will be leaving the company. I thought of doing it 3 or 2 days before i leave but my dearest boss asked me to inform them last week. Can't help it but to think "boss aku ni tak sabar ke nak aku blah..hari tu tanya if dah pack my things and now suruh inform all the client". I guess i have to think that he is doing it in a good faith.

Cekya and me met up with Rudy (Kurekuresakti) and Zuril (Langit Malam). Though Rudy and i have been ym'ing each other occasionally since he was in Japan, we never actually meet up with each other until last Friday. Met him at Starbucks KL Sentral, had a chit chat and he need to go off early as he had another appointment in Shah Alam. Such an ambitious guy and i wish him all the best in his business.

At last i met the person behind Langit Malam, a sweet shy lady she is. Had our lunch at Pizza Hut. Sorry dear, we didn't know that you don't eat pizza, should have told us earlier. We will remember it the next time around. Catched "Tatkala Bulan Mengambang", a black and white movie..not to bad. Headed home after that...not quite yet. Feeling like having something soupy and hot, hoping that it will help to resolve my uncomfortable stomach due to late breakfast and lunch the day before as i was really hooked up with trimming the small lawn in front of my house. Cekya suggested Uncle's Lim Chicken Porridge with Soya Cincau. As a porridge lover, it sounded so nice. Even more tempting when she said the egg inside the porridge need to be stirred whilst the porridge is still hot. Ohh...this is so mouthwatering. That was what i had...plus with soy sauce and pepper. Soya cincau too!!

Alhamdulillah, Lin is safely back from performing hajj. Good to see her. Yes, without a doubt, i do miss her. She has been my good friend since for past 2 years. Got to know her the day i went for the MBA admission interview and later got to know that our office is only a few blocks away. Even more so now that our house is only 5 minutes from each other. I pray that she will also will succeed in finding herself a new job..in KLCC area i hope.

Got an appointment with the neurologist consultant at DSH tomorrow.

Glass Rainbow

Come over to my house to play
When the birds won't sing and the skies are gray
Give me your hands and lend me your soul
Then bead me a string of glass rainbows

How pretty are the little lights
Shining through the glass stained bright,

Like so many butterflies
Dashing, flashing through the sky

Lisa G. Leming

P.S. I Love You.

Just finished reading the book. It really made me cry..from the first few pages up until the end. Am i overly sensitive? The movie has been released in December 2007 but yet to be here. Waiting eagerly.

One of my many fav excerpt of the book...

"Holly sighed. 'Every time someone asked me that question, Sharon, I say, 'I am fine, thank you,' but to be honest i am not. Do people really want to know how you feel when they ask, How are you?'? Or are they just trying to be polite? Holly smiled. The next time the woman across my house says to me, 'How are you?" I'm going to say to her; well, actually i'm not very well at all, thank you. I'm feeling a bit depressed and lonely. Pissed off at the world. Envious of you and at your little perfect family but not particularly envious of your husband at having to live with you. And then, i'll tell her about how i started a new job and met lots of new people and how i am trying hard to pick myself up but i'm now at a loss about what else to do. Then i'll tell her how it pisses me off when everyone says that time is a healer when at the same time they also say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, which really confuses me, because that means the longer he is gone the more i want him. I'll tell her that nothing is healing at all and that every morning i wake up in my empty bed it feels like salt is being rubbed into those unhealing wounds.' Holly took a deep breath. "And then i'll tell her about how much i missed my husband and about how worthless my life seems without him. How uninterested i am getting in getting on with things without him and i'll explain that how i feel like i am just waiting for my world to end so that i can join him. She'll probably say, "Oh that's good, like she always does, kiss her husband goodbye, hop into her car and drop her kids to school, go to work, make the dinner and got to bed with her husband and she will done it all while I'm still trying to decide what colour shirt to wear to work. What do you think?' Holly finally finished and turned to Sharon.'

Cecelia Ahern


People can be very fake sometimes, just a matter of asking and answering while some other just don't really understand or not trying to understand. What do you think?