Envy..

I am happy for them..i really am but i can stop myself from having the envy feeling. Think about myself and said "one day perhaps...one day perhaps." Period.

All the best

Good Luck Awan

Jungle Nite

First and foremost, Happy Birthday Cekmi. Do take care and have fun. Sms me when you are back.

Annual dinner was fun. We had it on the eve of National Day. Things were a bit chaotic in the beginning as the hotel was quite late in setting up the room. People were arriving and we still not ready. Our staffs had to lend them a hand with the set up. I was also quite disappointed because they cannot provide us with the flowers they had promised. They have lots function that day and the flowers were out of stock. Had to rush back to the hotel room to get ready or i'll be late. Despite the hiccups, the whole event was great. Lots of animals that nite and one cute pink rabbit. winks. winks.

I think everyone enjoyed themselves. I did. Even better with the presence of Cekya and Awan as our unofficial photographer. It was good to have them around. Life cannot be more better when you have your good friends to enjoy the joyful moments with you.

Thanks Awan and Cekya. Photos can be seen here.

saat itu

Merindu pada sebuah ceritera semalam yang seharusnya ditinggakan jauh. Sesekali kenangan itu menerjah dan tak mampu kutangkis. Sampai bilakah?

So so clumsy..

I am angry at myself. At my own clumsiness. I am disappointed with myself and for that i am speechless. May i will find my cellphone at the hotel or wherever it is. As well as the peace in my heart.

My Lil Angel

that's my lil angel, isya. she's a big girl now.
how i miss her..

She also likes pink. notice the pink dress and bangle..any similarities Cekya?

I Hid My Love

by : John Clare (1793 - 1864), Henry Gibson

I hid my love when young till I
Couldn't bear the buzzing of a fly,
I hid my love to my despite
Till i could not bear to look at the light:
I dare not gaze upon her face
But left her memory in each place;
Where'er I saw wild a flower lie
I kissed and bade my love good-bye.

I met her in the greenest dells,
Where dewdrops pearl the wood bluebells;
The lost breeze kissed her bright blue eye,
The bee kissed and went by,
A sunbeam found a passage there,
A gold chain round her neck so fair;
As secret as the wild bee's song
She lay there all the summer long.

I hid my love in field and town
till e'en the breeze would knocked me down;
the bees seemed singing the ballads o'er,
The fly's bass turned a lion's roar;
And even silence found a tongue,
To haunt me all the summer long;
The riddle nature could not prove
Was nothing else but secret love.

A year younger..

Happy Birthday Lun. Wish you all the happiness in the world.

I am in denial. Sigh!!

p/s :Happy Birthday MamaEmmy. Wish all dreams will come true.

W.O.W

A friend's words of wisdom :

"He will give what you want if you give Him what He wants"

So true..and yet sometimes we lose sight.


p/s : i like my new layout. Glad you guys like it too

The One With A New Layout

Had an enjoyable weekend with Awan and his friends..as well as Cekmi coincidently. A late nite treat at Restoran Jejantas with juicy stories..ermm. The next day we hit the road back to KL. Later that nite..at home, i feel all alone. Tak suka that feeling.

My blog has a new layout now..belum 100% siap. Very clean look.

Happy Hour

Life has been leisurely calm.. Not more classes to attend or trying to keep up with deadlines, and above all that, no more exams. So what did i do on saturdays and sundays? I did not do anything bizarre..sometimes just laze around and watched tellie till late time. Taking the time off even from blogging, though i have so much to tell. Such a wonderful life. I-A-M-L-O-V-I-N-G-I-T. But i am not very sure how long i can stay this way...not studying, i mean. Been doing that ever since i got my first degree. Few of my friends did ask if i have the intention to pursue. Yes, the intention to do Doctorate is there, just don't know when. At the moment, just let me feel the enjoyment of being free after the 2 years of hardwork.

Also, there are those who are not keen of the idea..wanting me to settle down. Not-that-easy. At my age, where can i find a good single guy nowadays..most of them are already taken, not ready for any commitment or career-oriented. What is left? The opportunist..lots of those these days. It scares me. Sometimes i feel that i in my comfort zone with being single. I have the freedom to do as i pleased, out with friends whenever i want. One the other hand, i want the companionship..if possible without having to sacrifice my freedom, perhaps not all but most of it. The only cloud in the horizon is the fail marriage or he turned out to be a complete stranger after saying the vows.

Transformers..robots in the sky ( An's version). Managed to see the movie after twice of unlucky circumstances. Some even said maybe 'i takde jodoh with transformers'. I am determined to see the movie..no matter what. You must be wondering what were the unlucky instances.

• My friend managed to get us the ticket for saturday show on wednesday. Woke up saturday morning with the eagerness to watch Transformers (been waiting since last year). Couldn't get my car to start..tried few times, still failed to get the engine running. It was 9.00pm and the workshops were yet to open. Luckily, they had their handwritten phone number at the banner. Quickly called the mechanic. After done some checking, he said the alternator need to be changed. Since he did not store any at the workshop, he need to get it elsewhere. Still early, i might be able to make it to KLCC at 11am. Waiting..waiting and felt like forever. My heart pounded fast when my watched showed 10.45pm. My hope crushes. Called my friend few times but can't get through. Apparently, she did not bring her cellphone. Told the mechanic i am going home (luckily it's only a 5 mins walk) and asked him to call me when it's ready. By the time the car is ready it has past 1pm. Sigh!!!
• On Monday, planned with my colleagues to watch the movie on Wednesday. The four of us..Redz, Jidi and Aja. Booked the ticket online and i got Redz to pick up the tickets. On that Wednesday, we rushed to Midvalley and got there on time. Went into the movie theatre and happily seated at our seats with the popcorns and all. Again, i waited. Popcorns almost finish...wondered why it took so long for the show to start. Suddenly we heard someone made an announcement that there was a technical problem and the movie cannot be shown. People started to make noises. i can understand why. To queue for the tickets is not something we want to do again. We have no other choice but to get our refund. Decided to watch the show on friday but we cannot do the booking since the monitor only showed up to Thursday showtimes. To cut it short, Friday and Saturday fully booked, we manage to catch Monday's show. At last, after such a long wait, i can proudly say that I HAVE WATCHED TRANSFORMERS. It was beyond words..superbly good. You know what i mean, right?

Masyi requested that i post pictures of the house i am staying currently. Will do that after i take a few snapshots. Not something fancy or extraordinary but i like it very much. Hoping that she will sell the house to me. Do pray for me..please.

I know i don't have the look but i don't need to be constantly reminded of that eventhough jokingly. I can accept it the first time but not that often. Thinking back, i feel that he are sometimes like my sister, like to say as they pleased without thinking that others might feel offended with their words. Lidah itu lebih tajam dari mata pedang. Whatever lah...the inner beauty is much more important that what lies in the outside. I am still grateful being the person i am..Alhamdulillah.

Later Alligator

Got lots to story tapi my internet is still not up and running sebab telephone line kat rumah ada problem. Hopefully it will be okay in this 2-3 weeks. am using my cuzzie pc to check few things.

take care guys

mana silapnya?

the other day i saw few people signed card and saw A**r pegang hadiah. asked him, he said hadiah org kahwin. i was a bit puzzled sebab in my knowledge tak ada news ada orang nak kahwin. today i saw hadiah tu at table my officemate yang last day. To kill my curiousity i asked someone card apa yang she signed the other day and she replied the card is for my officemate yang last day tu. A**n dah beli hadiah and she tanya siapa yang nak share. terasa kecil hati sungguh..the others but tak tanya i pun. bukan i kenal then setahun dua. I have know them for 11 years and they did this. dahlah lately ni rasa sangat terasing sangat with their attitude towards me. Am i that bad ke?

I think i need to do something positive to myself. Personal grooming and build up the confident level. Pedulikan mereka.

It Pay Off

Just dapat my result..ada 2A, 1A minus and 1B. tension betul dapat B for International Business. Walaupun bagaimanapun ku panjatkan teramat sangat syukur kepadaNya. I will be graduating this year will CGPA of 3.54. YEAY!!!! Nak grad. All the hardwork pay off. I am so HAPPY beyond words.

Remember tak, i selalu mention the top student in my class tu. He will be graduating with a CGPA of 3.97. Overall he got 3A plus, 9A and 1A minus. How to challenge that? One thing i can say he is gifted.


Thanks to all my classmate for your support and friendship. I LOVE YOU ALL and CONGRATS.

terasing

aku. dia. mereka. semakin jarak. terasa asing. aku dengan duniaku, dia dan mereka dengan dunianya. sesekala bermain di fikiran mungkin ada silapku hingga terjadinya ini. seharusnya aku tidak perlu peduli kerana dia sememangnya tidak. tapi aku tidak mampu kerana itu aku. syukur aku ada kamu yang berikan pelangi.

where the h*** are you?

my brother is nowhere in sight. geramlah ni. Since yesterday i have been packing all the stuff. Lupa nak mention..i am moving to a new place esok. things ada lagi yg tak pack. My room ada stuffs yang belum pack. tadi kemas kitchen and the third room yang full of stuff. Tak tahu cukup tak the boxes..now pun dah more than 15 boxes, big and small. By 9 tomorrow lorry nak datang and only the three of us yang akan angkat all the stuffs.. me, brother and the lorry driver. Am hoping that my brother akan tolong me kemas. dah sms, sampai sekarang tak nampak batabg hidung. penat ni. the boxes tak susun lagi, sampah belum masuk dalam plastic hitam and buang. Sabar jelah.

Ni tengah rehat kejap.

Lupa nak mention..we had a good time kat swensens today. Topic of the day "wtl and stolen car tyres". Awan and Cekmi brought their friends, Khairil and Azrai.
Lun - i have bagi your gift tu pada everybody except MamaEmmy cannot make it as she is in Kuantan.

way back home

i am the Changi Airport, on my way back home. Met Ligo and Masyi...sadly i did not meet Lun. Last minute change of plan..

will tell you all about it. My foot is killing me..

biarlah

ku anggap dia pemangkin walaupun nun di sana. ceria hari ku. aku tak peduli. jika hanya aku yang punya rasa, tidak dia. juga ingin rasa indahnya. pergilah duka. bawalah sinar pelangi. aku rindu pada bahagia.

terlalu istimewa

sukar untuk melepaskan. terlalu cinta. menjadikan aku disergah kesunyian yang amat. sakit dada menahan. perlukah begini? tapi sampai bila?

Jike benar sekali pun, layakkah mereka mempersoalkannya? Aku juga manusia seperti mereka. miliki hati dan rasa.

what would your answer be?

This came from a 5 years old girl (anak my boss)

• Kenapa pampers budak kecil besar tapi pampers orang besar kecil?
• Rambut abah banyak putih. Apa kata kita panggil yang putih tu rambut and yang hitam itu uban?
• Kenapa orang dah kahwin ada anak tapi orang yang tak kahwin tak ada anak?

Be creative and tell me ur answers..


*Wtl, Cekya & Ann (Cekya's friend) met up with I_mshe and Nuha semalam kat Impiana. It's good to see I_mshe again. Body still maintain kurus and Nuha...so so adorable.*

**got myself a pair of elle shoes..brown colour. I like!!!

Persis Mutiara - Mila AF5

Biar kau tunduk bisu
Aku tahu
Gelora hatimu
Engkau mahu
Aku lafazkan rindu

Biar kau hanya diam
Aku selam
Jiwamu terdalam
Perasaan cintamu yang kau pendam

Kata paling terindah
Tak mungkin bisa ucapkan
Hakikat rasa yang ku rasakan

Pabila ku renung ke matamu
Terlihat ku hatimu kasih
Persis mutiara

Sinarmu mendamaikan
Pergolakan
Insan yang lelah mengembara

Tak terbilang kesan-kesan luka
Titis hujan airmata
Tenang sebentar pedih semula

Buatku rasa gentar
Membisikkan hasrat hati sebenar
Sekalipun engkau inginku lamar
Kasihku

I didn't really follow AF5 in fact AF yang lain juga but semalam watched the final of AF5..suka dengar Mila nyanyi as well as masa Aizad nyanyi lagu Yesterday. Aznil tak jadi pengacara AF lagi. A tribute him semalam buat wtl rasa sedih pulak. Some yang will replace him, have to do extra work and be original.

Where are my tyres!!!!

For the past few weeks i parked my car at Batu Tiga commuter station. Did not expect anything bad to happened. Last night as usual by 6.30pm i went back. Sampai kat kereta i did not notice anything weird. Got the engine running but somehow the car is not moving either to the front or backwards. Well, something is definitely wrong. Takkan kereta stuck kat mud..mustahil. The day before, i saw kereta kat belakang my car got puncture tyre, on the right hand side depan and belakang. I thot perhaps my tyres pun kena mcm tu. Got out of the car checked my tyres and found out that someone had taken 2 of my tyres..tayar depan and belakang sebelah kiri. Rasa nak menjerit pun ada...dah lah penat.

called my brother, my classmates and my cousins. At first, thought of towing but then my brother sampai, followed by cousins..they letak my spare tyre and my brother's spare tyre and guna aje nat campur-campur since jumpa mine 5 aje.

The car now kat my uncle's place..nak beli tayar and rim kena tunggu gaji next week. So today tak gi kerja since my brother overnite kat his friend's place semalam and balik kerja today terus pergi Kenyir.

Tension giler...memang dia orang dah tak ada kerja lain gamaknya. I won't forgive them!!!

Aku Bukan Pilihan Hatimu - Ungu

Jika memang diriku
Bukanlah menjadi
Pilihan hatimu
Mungkih sudah takdirnya
Kau dan aku
Takkan mesti bersatu

Haruslah slalu kau tahu
Ku mencintaimu di sepanjang waktuku
Harus slalu kau tahu
Semua abadi untuk selamanya

Karena ku yakin
Cinta dalam hatiku
Hanya milikmu
Sampai akhir hidupku

Karena ku yakin
Di setiap hembus nafasku
Hanya dirimu
Satu yang slalu ku rindu

teringatkan dia...

i will be in SG on the 5th - 10th. will be visiting the brokers and 2 days course. As well as meeting up with Lun, Masyi and Ligo. Can't hardly wait. Should i let him know? masih berkira2..perhaps before boarding the plane.

to be or not to be...that's the question

Yesterday..

I had a chat with this one guy about muta'ah and misyar. He said earlier that dia plan nak find someone for muta'ah. He asked my opinion about it and i said i can't give any opinion without knowing more about it. Based on my reading, muta'ah is haram whilst misyar adalah diharuskan and i think what he meant was misyar. Told him that and said perhaps he should not see it from the surface and seek understanding and knowledge on that before embarking onto it. His simple reply was i don't like theories, if all the ustaz kata harus..siapalah kita nak argue. Duh!! Ni lah namanya nak buat tapi nak tahu in-depth abt it. Later i told him if you really want to do it, then he should at least know what are the other party i.e. the woman rights supaya it won't create any difficulties. His answers really pissed me off.
him : awak ingat Tuhan tak tahu woman rights
me (beristigifar) : Allah Maha Mengetahui..cuma manusia yg tak
him : i tak ragu2 dgn agama i
me : what are trying to imply?
him : you seolah2 ragu dgn agama u
me (dlm hati) : Na'uzubillah

Terus i jadi pissed off..i am just spilling out my opinions, mcm tu pulak jawapannya. terus malas nak layan.

Today..

Going to work is such a drag..i rasa my work is so routine and stagnant. Been applying jobs here and there. Still no answers. Ray (the scorer) plan to do his PhD next year. I pun ada intention to do my PhD but nak buat kat oversea. When think about it the easiest way utk dapat sponsorship utk buat PhD is by becoming a lecturer and if i am still in the industry..i am sure if having PhD with change a thing. Ada MBA pun, tak ubah apa2. Some people will say that i am crazy..gila belajar. Macamana nak cakap ya..i love studying walaupun the exams and schoolworks tu memang kadangkala buat tension. Perhaps that explains why i have not really stop studying since my degree days. My previous experience..i boleh tahan 2-4 months aje, lepas tu dah rasa rindu nak study. Ni tak tahulah mcmana.

This is just a plan..but intention nak buat PhD tu memang ada. If tak buat, then i will go for my fellowship. See what my dad have to say about it...from small asyik nak suruh anak2 dia jadi che'gu.

A colleague of mine after reading an email abt Raja Nazrin's future wife send an email to F****, one of the broker i closely work with, teasing him on Zara being her sister because of the surname. To our surprise he replied yes..she is my youngest sister. We laughed as we were only teasing him and did not expect it's true. Anyway, to Raja Dr. Nazrin and Zara Salim Davidson, wish you all the happiness.

it all pays..

Alhamdulillah. The viva presentation went well. I think this is my best presentation through the entire course. After the presentation, one of examiner said to us "this is a very good study". All our efforts and sacrifices now bear the fruits. No major changes need to be done, only some editorial work. Officially, i have completed my MBA and only waiting for the results.

Thanks my dearies for you wishes and doa.

Wish me luck..

Tomorrow is my viva. Listening to Lin's story on today session did add extra weight to my nervousness. There are some dissatisfaction..can understand their feelings. Really hope we won't be bombarded with tough questions.

Doakan wtl okay...

Something Missing..

Cekya, Awan, Cekmi, Azell and Julie - thanks for the lovely birthday treat. really enjoyed myself that nite.
Cekmi ~ thanks dear. appreciate the gift.

Today my office organized annual golf tournament..luckily this year buat kat KGSAAS. Just 10 min from home as compared to last year, had it atNilai. Me..playing golf? Not yet..i was one of the committee member. The weather was just nice..tak panas tapi turf lah soggy sikit sebab hujan.

Balik from the club, singgah TESCO. Ingat nak beli a few items tapi bila seeing the crowd at the counter, i changed my mind and headed home.

Basically i dah tak ada class, tinggal the viva this 4th...takutnya. Pray for me please. It's good to have my saturdays and sundays back. I got lots of plan at the back of my head but somehow, i feel there is something missing..i miss going to class (minus the exam and schoolworks) and miss my friends. Suddenly, i feel like i am lost and tonite feels so sad..especially bila tengah buat movie strip of my class. I miss them..i really do. Talked to Zam about this and she also felt the same. Wonder about the others...are they feeling the same? My guess..YES. I need to adapt to these changes.

This is so sad...

The day i celebrated my birthday, 32 families lost their loved ones. My heart goes the deceased families. Lives of innocent people are of no values to others..so sad

all will come to an end..

the past few weeks my life had been so hectic. i don't care what happened around me. all i care was to finish my thesis on time. I took a whole week leave from the office last week. Am sure people thought that i was somewhere relaxing and having a good time. how i wish lah kan. the fact was, i spent my days and nights at uitm..trying to get my ABP (Applied Business Project/Research) aka thesis done on time. As mentioned in my earlier posting..i had to do my thesis during the semester and at the same time i got classes to attend to. Lecturer are also not compromising..but can't blame them, they also need us to gave us with assignments as part of the coursework. Unlike the seniors, they have 3 months solely for ABP. Having to do thing in a rush, really test our patience and endurance. Me and Aya slept at the 24 hours discussion room, had our shower at the toilet. A memory to cheeris. A day before handing in the ABP, we did not sleep for 30hrs (that is the time when Cekmi smsed and wish me), had to berkejar to office to print, balik to uitm to rearrange the pages and appendices, pergi kedai for binding and submitted it to the 2 examiners, supervisor and faculty..yes it was a very tiring day for us. So happen, it was the day of my BIRTHDAY. Easy said, i dated my thesis on my birthday and went to sleep after that. A lovely way to celebrate.

My life is like "makan ABP, tidur ABP"...there were times when we had our lunch at 6pm, at 8pm..we were caught up with works until terlupa lunch. I joined up with Aya for this ABP..there were some group of 3 but yang buat kerja 2 orang aje. Yang seorang tu either give very minimal effort or no contribution at all. Macam-macam masalah yang other groups encountered. My group was not an exceptional. Our supervisor was not around to assist us as she was on medical leave after underwent an operation. So, tengok orang jumpa their supervisor on their finding analysis, rasa sedih juga lah sebab tak ada sesiapa nak proof read our ABP. It will backfires us masa viva nanti.

Decided to see the coordinator about our problem. I went to see her in the morning and told her about our problem and she just said your supervisor will be back on Monday. HELLO!!! Monday is the submission date..takkan nak hantar je. Then Aya smsed our supervisor with the hope to see her at home. She replied the sms and asked us to seek help from our coordinator as she is really unwell. This time i went to see her with Aya with a notebook in hand hoping that will have a look at our work. To our dissappointment and anger, she said i tak ada masa nak baca..i ada banyak benda lain nak baca and it is not my line. A coordinator can say as such..she is SUPPOSED to help us yang in need. She called another lecturer, which was our Marketing lecturer to help us. Lepas tu terus sambung her work tanpa giving us a word of comfort. Tau lah dia nak supervise the top student aje tapi being a coordinator you should also have empathy pada the studentsn (so lecturers out there, don't pick and choose). Even some of the lecturers tak faham why do we need to do our ABP in a rush and some even thought that we dah tak ada class and solely buat ABP.

On Sunday, we went to seeDr. S***** . She was really helpful. She even wanted to help us with our power point presentation. Thanks Dr. S*****, you really save us and thanks for comforting us. A group she supervised is having some problem juga..hanya M (from next class) yang buat kerja. Yang 2 lagi habuk tak boleh harap. He did cerita his problem pada Abg R masa friday prayer. We got to know pun from Abg R..memang kesian dengar his story. So lepas Dr. S***** tengok our work, we asked her about M's group. She said if she did not receive anything from the group, maknanya kena deferred lah. Aiyokk. Terus both of us rasa kesian kat M. Takkan sebab 2 sleeping partners tu, M tak boleh grad. Tak patut. Yang group member dia sorang tu at the moment kat overseas and the other one tu hari Sabtu baru jumpa. Yang i geram tu..depa ni bukannya ada class lagi, hanya tinggal ABP aje. Unlike M, still ada class like us and every week ada presentation. If he managed to do his part, why can't them? Some people. Aya said something that i had thought last friday after i heard the story from Abg R..why not let him be in our group? It is unfair for him not graduating for the fault of others. He has done his part, they don't. Called M that nite with our proposal...i guess i rasa segan and serba salah sebab dia masuk our group when it's 95% done. For us, we don't mind. Just want to help a friend.

After the submission, headed back. Kat rumah tetiba rasa 'empty' and sedih. Maybe because these two weeks life been hectic and terkejar sana sini and ABP is the penghujung of 2 years of hardwork. No more rushing to classes to class after this, no more discussion, no more night meetings at uitm and no more suasana hingar bingar class...i am going to miss all that and my foremost, i am going to miss all my frens. Sedih la...

We are arranging a farewell dinner this saturday after the exam...even more rasa sedih.

All good things will come to the end and i hope our friendship will not.

two celebration

to two of my bestest friend in class :-

~ shahri : Happy 35th Birthday man..jgn nakal2, u know what i mean. ahaks. You, Aya n me.. lets go tepanyaki
~ aya : I am happy to be the second person to know after Ikmal, off course. Congrats my dearest..take good care. Hope it's a baby girl.

Hope our friendship remains.

Thanks zel for the lovely cupcakes...

only that for so much effort?

had a meeting on KPI..now kena tambah 2 new KPIs i.e. number of contract rework ( utk kira error lah juga ) and number of errors ( reports ). Rasa macam mmg nak cari silap je. why did i say that? weightage utk risk assessment and number of risk processed is only 2% but utk rework 20% weightage. same goes utk reporting...all my efforts utk buat report cuma diberi 3% weightage but for number of errors 10%. And this two KPIs are only for executive level and assistant manager. Should i even be motivated to look for a new job?

What is Your Best Feature on You??

What is Your Best Feature on You??PICS

Gorgeous Eyes
You have absolutely gorgeous eyes. They have so much depth behind them. You are a true emotional, and romantic. Times get hard, but you will always have that special someone to get you through things. You love to write poetry, and express your thoughts. But your one thing to do is Crying...on the inside and out. You may never realize it, but times will get better, and you'll always have a love waiting for you, if you dont already have one.
Take this quiz!








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welcome little one

I_mshe..congrats atas kelahiran Nuha Alia. U take care and moga cepat sihat. Jangan lupa post her pic and minum air gamat.

i am scared..

went to see the ENT specialist today. This is my 2nd appointment with him. He told me of something that me feel kinda scared. During the first meeting, he took some sample of the infection in my ear and sent it to the lab. Tadi lepas he did the suction kat dalam telinga, he told me that the lab dah run the test of the bacteria and it seems that the bacteria is so strong. The bacteria is resistance to all the antibiotics they tested except for one..yg itu is through injection. I saw a long list of the antibiotics..all coded with R (i saw 2 pages of the list). He did not want to give me the injection..my guess is that antibiotic might be the strongest one. I am going to see him again this friday, to remove the cotton i have inside my ears. Due to mastoic cavity as a result from the mastoidectomy operation i underwent in 1999, the specialist had to put 3 strip of cotton instead of the normal of only one.

i am scared...any suggestion on how to increase the immune system?

a different life

falling in love with this song..

lately going to work it not something i look forward to. not that i don't like the job, i do..it's just that i don't feel the challenge anymore. i feel i am doing a mundane day-to-day work. This most probably because i have been doing the same old job for the past 6 years. i crave for more now. did my MBA do that to me? wanting to explore new things, face new challenges. I want to speak to my boss about it but haven't had the chance to do so. At the same time, i am trying my luck for something totally new...

In contrast with work, this final semester has been the busiest semester of all..barely had time for myself and the lecturer treated us as if we are doing the programme fulltime. So much of work until we feel there so little air to breathe. Every group are required to present 3 chapters of the book...we are practically the lecturer. She just listened, interrupted once in a while and expected us to know the chapter in our fingertips. GIRLS, watch out!!! She will find ways to get you one way or another. GUYS..no worries, you are the lucky ones. She do things the PhD way...aiyok!!! The one who suffers is US. Alhamdulillah, this saturday is the last class..exam day.

In a month or two i will complete my Masters program. It has been a wonderful experience and also a bumpy road as well. I shall miss my classmates, miss the weekend classes, the night discussion and everything related to it. God knows. I am thinking what shall i do next, PhD? I might..but not in this near future.

My Dearest Classmates ( Aya, Shaari, Zell, Zam, Iz, Ismar, Ray, Lan, Abg Zack, Abg Rusly, Abg Mie, Acid, Sham, Mahani, Rizal, Abg Yunos, Shazirul, Suriani, Abd Radzwill, Kak Yan, Zura, Raslan)~ it has been a wonderful 2 years of my life and definitely will treasure those moments. Love you guys.

it's 1.20am and i just reached home from u**m. tomorrow the same thing, work & went to u**m. preparation for the exam. applied for leave this friday, hopefully it will be approved.

KPI...

speechless...

pm : a) i feel like shit
b) i suspected something but how to know for real? { nothing related to (i) }
c) if it is true...and then i will be sad (bukan the kind of lovey dovey punya sad, okay)
d) if it is true...moga dia jumpa jalan pulang.
Period

Things in life

I got tagged by Lun..here it goes.

5 things i would do if i were a millionaire

• Perform haj together my parents & siblings
• Build one yayasan for my families..paid for their educations, medical expenses and charity
  
• Start a business..event planner (Redmedia Event Management..sounds cool), bookstore or art and craft
  
• Travel to places i long to visit..New Zealand, Holland (tulipss..just love them), Oman, Tunis etc etc
• Build house..for my parents and for me. A nice house facing a lake..with gazebo and ada kebun buah-buahan
  

5 bad habits

• Procrastination...bila last minit baru kelam kabut. Study pun mcm tu last minit baru nak revised...baca awal2 tak masuk dlm otak.
  
• glued in front of my notebook for hours..sometimes skip makan
• tidur lambat...tak boleh tidur selagi tak pukul 12am. dah terbiasa since uni days. so not good.
  
• Put myself second. selalu put others' feeling first, then only diri sendiri...
• Tak buat exercise...lama dah tak exercise. kena start balik ni. Fight the kemalasan.
  

5 things i hate doing

• REPORT!!! & MORE REPORT!!! in excel form pulak tu. boleh menaikkan marah
• Basuh baju...washing machine rosak, kena handwash. bercinta betul.
• marah...tak suka nak marah and futhermore tak reti nak get back to people. selalu missed the boat...oh!! i should have said this or that.
• Iron baju..especially my silk baju kurungs. I will take an hour to iron my silk baju kurung and it explains why i jarang wear it.
• Naik lrt yang very crowded like dlm tin sardin pagi-pagi coupled with rude people and the waiting time for the bus at kat lrt bangsar untuk pergi office...urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. talking about efficiency and services.
  

5 things i never do

• watch horror movie...
• bungee jumping and anything to do with height.
  
• suck up to my boss for promotion
• smoke, clubbing, alcohol, gambling and yang seangkatan dgnnya
• guna toilet and letak tissue banyak2 sampai penuh dalam toilet bowl that buat toilet bowl tu tersumbat. This happened okay..byk kali kat office. Dah letak notice pun still jadi lagi. pissed me off betul. nak tahu juga siapa the culprit yang tak ada toilet etiquette.
  

5 things i regret doing

• something sinful juga...moga Allah mengampunkan segala dosa2ku. Biarlah rahsia.
  
• for not giving the very best when i know i could have done better.
  
• Dengar cakap orang onPelan dan Dongakan before masuk the exam hall. cost me my Modern Math result...patut ikut apa yang i faham. SIGH!!
  
• Kecilkan hati my parents...
• tak belajar betul2 masa my first year in uni...affected my CGPA. Had to work extra hard the remaining years. Learnt my lesson after that.
  

5 fave toys/things

• my laptop...need it everyday.
• my cat..Baby. miss her
• my books....esp Kay Hooper's
• bracelets given by my mom and dad
  
• www.walkthrulife.blogspot.com
  

5 person tag

• biahnce
• azell
  
• kurekuresakti
• nana
• nobody

Note: really thot that today is Friday and esok cuti. Sigh!!

sukar

kadangkala apa yang ku rasa sukar untuk diuraikan dengan kata-kata. Sebaiknya biar aku sahaja yang tahu. sukar untuk dimengertikan. kosong

friend bear

visited lun's blog and decided to take the quiz...here's the result

	Friend Bear You are everyone's ideal friend because you are sincere and genuinely kind. Sometimes you worry about your friends' problems so much, you forget about your own responsibilities, which can get you into trouble. For you, it's the little things that really count. You also happen to be the main driver of the Cloud Car. No speeding!
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

hate it when this happens...

i hate it when people jugde you by your looks and not your personality or innerself. especially guys. i love being friends with others, meeting new people but when they treated me that way, it just urggghhhh (am out of words). The first time it happened, it made me feel sad and feeling inferior about myself and i hate that kind of feeling. It still does make me feel sad but the degree of sadness is not as great as before. it happened often enough until i am quite skeptical to meet to new people.

the other thing i despise, is when people compared me with my sister or cousins. so what if they are good looking, keep it to yourself. don't have to tell me that. i don't need to be reminded of that. had enough of it my entire life.

i have to console myself by reminding the good values that i have in me. i don't have the look but i do have the brain. i am still trying to prove that to someone. to forgive is easy but to forget..ermm.

don't you just hate it. what is good look with a bad attitude?

Happy Birthday Dearest Awan..

Birthday Blessings

Instead of counting candles,
Or tallying the years,
Contemplate your blessings,
As your birthday nears.

Consider special people
Who love you, and who care,
And others who’ve enriched your life
Just by being there.

Think about the memories
Passing years can never mar,
Experiences great and small
That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,
So cut your cake, and say,
"Instead of counting birthdays,
I count blessings every day!"

By Joanna Fuchs

Dearest Awan..may you have a joyful birthday and many more to come. Thanks for being such a wonderful person. *hugs*hugs*

brain freeze

today belajar 10 chapter in one go...next week ada exam that covers 18 chapter. It's a one hour exam and after that ada presentation for 3 hours. The next day start new subject.

laziness hits

got lots to update but kinda lazy to do so. life being so hectic with work and study. this is a short semester..apart from the usual class, kena juga siapkan ABP..ala thesis gitu. thot that we kena hantar in june, so ada around 2 mths after the final exam utk finish up but it turns up we need to send the final draft by 31st March and viva on the 29th April. Our final exam tentatively will be on the 15th April. I am far from completing it...95% more to go. Still lots to be done. Interviews, questionnaires, data collections...arghhhhhhhhh. start to feel the tense. don't let me be panic. breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...

rindu

cried twice today. first sebab tengok cerita korea kat astro kirana. about a doctor and a girl with cancer. they fall in love and as usual sad ending. teringat seseorang.
the second time bila tengok norzie and aidid menunaikan haji kat majalah 3. betul-betul tersentuh hati. berdetik kat hati ni..bilakah dapat ke sana. menjadikan aku rindu. ingin menjejakkan kaki di rumahMu, Ya Allah. sebak.

great perseverance

I bid 2006 farewell and welcome 2007 with open arms. I had a great year eventhough there were hiccups along the way. Am much more closer to my blogsahabats...precious and memorable moments with them will always be treasured. Look forward for more. I am now part of Redmedia Team. I have big dreams for Redmedia which i hope will come true one day, insya'allah. We don't need money to dreams, just an imagination.

I thought i would fail QMT, it turned out i got an A- but on the contrary, the paper that i thought i would at least get a B+, i only got B. And i got A for my MIS. Still, i am thankful, Alhamdulillah. This is my final semester...insya'allah by June, i will complete my Master's degree. Can't hardly wait for that day to come. Eagerly waiting. Inside me, i could feel a little sadness..i will for sure going to miss all my coursemates especially my classmates. We been together since 2005, helping each other through difficulties, boosted up each other spirits. We had our fair share of arguments as well..we are human after all, aren't we? I guess all this made us more closer and hearts grow fonder. To my classmate, we shall conquer our final semester and strive to achieve the best.

My right eyes have been blinking on saturday and i wonder who would i possibly meet..someone who i haven't seen for ages. True enough, while queueing up for registration, someone came to me and said "remember me". I looked at her and cracking my head trying to figure out who is this person and has our path crossed. She must be thinking "this girl don't remember me at all, i should say my name" and said "Puan Hendon". OMG...she looked different. Perhaps when i last saw her, she was not wearing a scarf. She was my lecturer during my degree days. She and Puan Rashidah (Dr. now) thought insurance papers. As there were only 2 insurance lecturers..my 3rd and 4th year classes are either with Puan Hendon or Dr. Rashidah. And the fact that only 7 of us in the class, make it easier for her to remember us. She is one of my favourite lecturer..such a gentle person, very soft spoken and it is because of her, i decided to pursue my career in this line and attained my ACII. I am loving my line of work..have no regret. It was great to see her again and i pray that she will succeed with flying colours in he PhD. Hope to see her again..this time for a drink. That would be just lovely.


Once he (she) has noticed the sadness
It never goes away
Makes her cry even more
Because of what her eyes say...

Sad Eyes...

Reminiscing the past. I walked down the memory lane..at my grandfather's kampung, where i used to spend my childhood days. Some things have changed and some remain the same. My feelings at that moment..overwhelmed. Never had i imagined that i would walked down that lane again. Fond memories. My aunties and uncles told us their stories..their good old days, during they were kids. How they used to travel to Singapore visiting relatives. They did mentioned a few of the places..just slipped off my mind. At that moment, i thought of my Singaporean blogsahabats...sorry guys, just seems to recall the names.

In the middle of the conversation, i glanced at my mom. She was drifted away in her own circle of thoughts..only God knows what it is. I saw the sadness in her eyes..watery eyes. Hurts me so much looking at her like that and it still does whenever i recalled that moment in time. I saw her being in that state twice that day. She is such a strong woman, she was diagnosed with diabetes when i was in form four or five. Really took care of the things she ate and she is still very particular about it now. No sweet things, bicarbonated soda, sugar cane or durians. I guess when i was in my early years of working, her kidneys failed and have to undergo hemodialysis 3 days a week until now. It has been 6 or 7 years now. She still moves on with courage and strong willpower..i admire that. Her arms now swelling here and there because of the needles. I am not sure how long she will be around with us (kinda make me sad now as i am typing this). Can't escape from feeling sad. I want her at my wedding. I want my kids to know her. I want her to have the best things in life. I am not sure if i have done enough for her.

Mom, i know i never really said that i love you..deep inside my heart i trully do. I love you, Mak.

Funny..

• What you don’t know can’t hurt you, unless it’s an open manhole just ahead.
• There is no place like home, though next door’s quite similar.
• People who live in glass houses should buy curtains.
• Curiosity killed the cat. At least, the dog said so but he doesn’t have an alibi!
• Revenge is sweet – so does it rot your teeth?
• Laughter is the best medicine, except when treating asthmatics.
• Bad news travels fast but bad smells tend to linger.
• It’s no use crying over spilt milk, your tears just add to the mess.
• All roads lead to Rome, which is annoying if you were just going to the shops.
• Ignorance is bliss so you must be ecstatic!
• He who hesitates is… erm… uh… y’know… ooh… um… er… thing… er…
• "Don't try this at home" is a polite way of saying, "THIS IS A STUPID THING TO DO."

Get this from Beano.

One Day In Your Life - MJ

When i heard this song...i have a name in my mind and this goes to him. Eventhough things have changed, you are still someone special to me.



One day in your life
You’ll remember a place
Someone touching your face
You’ll come back and you’ll look around, you’ll . . .

One day in your life
You’ll remember the love you found here
You’ll remember me somehow
Though you don’t need me now
I will stay in your heart And when things fall apart
You’ll remember one day . . .

One day in your life
When you find that you’re always waiting
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I’ll be there

You’ll remember me somehow
Though you don’t need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You’ll remember one day . . .

One day in your life
When you find that you’re always lonely
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I’ll be there

dia yang dulu

kenapa?

hati sayu..

any particular reason?

ermm..ntahlah. tiba-tiba rasa macam tu.

pelik juga..org rasa sayu mesti bersebab..

kenapa perlu berubah?

siapa?

dia, dia, dia dan semua

pantai pun berubah..kenalah terima that people changed

dia ini buat i rasa that i don't matter anymore, dia itu buat me rasa down and imperfect.
aku mahu yang dulu.

u know it is impossible..

why can't just hate them...

u know why, u are not that type of person.

sigh!!

our story...

Lots had happened. Want to blog tapi kemalasan melanda. Met up with Cekmi and Cekya. Had our dinner dekat Secret's Recipe. It was fun and meeting up with blogsahabats never failed to make laugh. always look forward to see them.

My boss dapat invitation untuk saksikan the lauching ofMeasat 3 and she can extend the invitation to one person. She asked me if i want to go. Belum lagi kata ya..tapi showed interest. Will have to be at KLCC Convention Centre by 6am or 6.30am at most. Still thinking should i drive or should i take the lrt..which reminds me that i need to check when is the earliest train.

This week, infact for the whole of December, memang sibuk kat office. Renewal seasons and also lunch appointments will the clients. Next week pun ada few lunches. There goes my diet. hihihi. Talking about lunch appointment...last friday i had a lunch appointment at a Japanese Restaurant in Kompleks Antarabangsa. On my way out, i bumped into someone..someone that i had not meet for quite sometime. We looked at each other without saying a word or a smile. Maybe dia pun terkejut like me. Lagipun we never exchanged a single word pun dulu. i had a crush on him..memang suka tengok him. I guess he pun perasan kot that i like him..mana taknya if he passed by me while waiting for the commuter, my housemate akan cepat-cepat kata "kak, abang yang akak suka tu lalu". malu. i liked him so much that one day i saw him balik kerja and took my viewcam untuk tape him. i am not a stalker..trust me. unfortunately, the viewcam kena curi when someone broke into our place. anyway, it was sure nice to bump into him. put a smile at my face. shared this with cekya.

on the same day, tengok cerita CINTA with Amar, Awin and Kak Liza. ada few scenes yang made cried..and off course masa lagu anuar zain. really sebak.

ku mengerti perpisahan ini
bukan kerana kau membenci
tapi kasih yang pernah ku beri
tiada lagi bersama

sering kala aku terlihatkan mu
impian nan indah julang bahagia
ku harungi hari demi hari
bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali

tapi hati masih tak terima
ditinggalkan sengsara

keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
perasaan hati masih rindu
kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku
tercari-cari bayanganmu

tak sanggup aku kehilangan
kehilanganmu

aduh...i felt the hurt, the sadness. the storyline was simple, an everyday life event but yet it still mampu menyentuh hati. as long as we are human being, those stories are our stories. we relate ourselves to any of those 5 stories or one of those 10 peoples. i am sure. there are some nice quotes in the movies. want to see it again. the soundtrack definitely..a must have thing.

semalam stayed indoor..too lazy and tired to go out. spring cleaning my room. rearranged the bed and dressing table. i like the new arrangement..more space. nampak mcm the room tu besar. today, pagi2 Lin called and we decided nak pergi tengok movie. nak ajak Lin tengok CINTA but Cathay Cineplex tak show CINTA. So daripada tengok Cicakman baik tengok Dejavu. Nice movie..action movie. ada ala2 travel through time gitu. Val Kilmer is the nice guy this time..he is with the FBI. He gained weight, pipi pun dah chubby.

something i learn..

Just discover the photo editing techniques using Picasa. Still learning and am planning to beli cd photoshop. now can boleh actively ambik gambar and update my fotopages every now and then.

better service....

waited for KTM commuter for almost 30 minutes yesterday. they should by now know the trend and when is the peak hours. parked my car at shah alam commuter station after when to lodge a report to tnb. yes guys, the power supply overloaded again, and this time, my remote ceiling fan, streamyx modem and light bulb became the victim. tension banget..washing machine pun belum berbetul lagi and now this.

back to the commuter's story, one thing that i really don't understand dari dulu sampai sekarang is the attitude of Malaysian yang tak sabar-sabar nak board the train sampai tak bagi way for those who nak keluar. just couldn't understand. i should have parked my car at kelana jaya and took the lrt. you guys must be wondering why i didn't drive to work. since fasting month i don't have any parking space as new parking operator took over and priority given to the tenant of the building. the parking fees increased from rm150 to rm251. i ended up parking at the open space for rm11 per day 9 which i have to leave the car key, if i am late ) or in the office basement parking at rm20 per day. tak tahan.. dengan tol and minyak lagi, boleh bankrupt den.

so last week i decided to commute using public transport..like before. park my car at lrt kelana jaya. take the lrt to bangsar and then rapidkl bus to the office. never mind the hardship..at least boleh save sikit.

cekya in london, awan just came back from sg, cekmi went to pd with his students, i_mshe and lun at home..bestnya. me stuck at the office, not allowed to take leave in december and need to submit my Applied Business Research's proposal by 27th to MBA coordinator. am still struggling with it with no proper guidelines. they should have listed nama-nama lecturer for each area of study. taklah terkial-kial nak cari sebab we all ni bukannya semua former uitm student. also bagilah contoh the proposal that we need to submit. i had to call the fulltime student untuk tahu the format. nak cari organization and get their approval lagi. we are part time yang don't have that time luxury macam full time student. hope i can finish my proposal before 27th.

lun - comel betul kimi tu.
i_mshe - how are you gurl? miss talking to you.
cekya - have fun in london and lotsa & lotsa pictures.
azell - sorry didn't make it to your open house..proposal tak siap.
cekmi - can't wait your posting on pd trip. nanti kita arrange picnic okay.
awan - love tompi..great voice and nice songs.
tatot - senyap je?
emmy - everything okay gurl?

eagerly waiting for this movie - Cinta. dah plan nak tengok dgn amar and awin. also nak tengok the Red Kebaya

till then..bye

being single

most friends are happily married with kids or without, some goes separate ways and a few lost their loved ones. When i think of this..i never fail to wonder what the future will brings for me. how will i spend my old days? alone in an old folks home or with my loved ones? the question remains unanswered and i feel so alone. don't get me wrong, i like being single. i can go anywhere i want without having to answer to anybody. i can do what i feel like doing without having any hesitation. on the other hand, there is something missing. A person i can call my other half, my companion and my best friend. Someone i can turn to at any time..a shoulder to cry on, someone who can put away my difficulties with a smile and a laugh that brightens my way.

Often enough we heard people said i love being single, i hate commitment and the like. i bet there will be times when they will feel what i am feeling now. Perhaps what they said is only a cover up. who knows.sigh!!

wish of my heart that i will meet my other half...

Black Clouds

the rain is pouring heavily outside and i am now stuck in the office. i do not dare to drive in this kind of weather. Need to change my glasses...my astigmatism has increased. Did not notice that the condition is getting bad until the 1st raya. It was raining like cats and dogs on the eve of 1st raya. Was at my grandad's place since morning ,so i decided to go back to my parents' place after the maghrib's prayer. I can't see the road clearly because of the rain and was blinded by the carlights from the opposite direction. I missed the first left turn, and the second and third alternative route just because i couldn't see all the left junctions to my parents' house. It was so dark to me. I ended up driving another 300 meters, made a right turn to a shoplots area and exit to the opposite direction and home sweet home. sigh.

i bet some places are flooded...Shah Alam without exclusion. Zam called telling me to go back before it is roads are flooded and i told her that i can't drive in this kind of weather. Just have to wait. perhaps by that time, the rain has stop and traffic has ease a little bit. From the glass window, i can see it is still heavily raining.

I am on now semester break so i have more time for myself. nevertheless, it doesn't mean that i can simply enjoy the time luxury. I need to sumbit my ABP proposal by this November 27th and still thinking of the topic , am a little clueless. As told by Cekya, i had my QMT final exam last sunday. It was supposed to be a 3 hours exam and finish at 12.00pm. The lecturer came late, we started around 9.30am and should end by 12.00am but by 12.00pm, we were told to stop typing or writing. When we asked for time extension and our request were brushed away. I did not manage to complete my answers and so was the rest of my classmates.Off course we wouldn't as the time shortened by 30 minutes. Arghhhhhh. Zel told him the exam is supposed to finish at 12.30pm and he just said nothing. One thing i am not satisfied is that he should have told earlier that we just need to answer the questions using Words without the results. This will saved us a lot of time from having to cut and paste the results generated by the QMT software to Words. Also not to mentioned the time we take to adjust the alignment, to add tables and all. He told us that we just need to put the answers and the generated results in one folder and that we don't need to paste the results in Words.

doakan

it's almost 1.30am and i just got back from uitm. had some discussion. QMT final exam this sunday..still lost my way. tak tahulah macamana nak jawab the exam. yang pasti these 3 days i will be spending my time kat uitm. sebenarnya memang takut..tak terkata. individual and group assignment kena hantar this sunday juga. nak nangis rasanya. doakan wtl ya kawan-kawan.

Dearest Lun - congrats on ur new born baby boy.

Kenangan Terindah

Buat dirimu di sana. Adakah ini bermakna aku sudah bisa melepaskan mu pergi walaupun sayang itu masih ada di hati?



Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang tlah hilang darimu
Yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun
Aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

Darimu...
Kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku...
Kau lah cinta sejati

Ooh...

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang tlah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Ooh...

Lost

These few days, bila malam aje sakit kepala. Tak tahu kenapa. I am still having selsema..dah almost 2 weeks. Haze is one of the sebab and also keadaan office yang sejuk sangat.

This saturday, need to hand in QMT assignments and the take home test. Tak tahu nak buat..this the toughest subject for me so far. And i tak tahu how to do it. My classmates pun been asking around siapa yang dah siap. Never in my life, from the beginning of class sampai the end i tak faham apa...this week is the last class. Last Sunday, ada midterm, took me and most of my classmate almost half an hour trying to answer the questions. Feel really lost.

So Very Rude

last tuesday, when i wanted to do my laundry, i noticed that my washing machine couldn't be swtiched on. just bought the washing machine in may..takkan cepat dah rosak. then i realised that my astro decoder pun tak ada power at all. weird. The next day, i went to ask about lin's pc kat adik yg jaga cc. he told me a few pcs kat cc rosak sebab pencawang tnb rosak and few of the college students punya notebook meletup.
That explained why the washing machine and astro tak boleh pakai. he also told me tnb guy came and took reports on the damages. la..tak tahu pun.

so i decided to call tnb careline 15454. A guy picked up the call and gave me TNB Bangsar phone number and asked me to call the 'perkhidmatan pengguna'. Called the number on friday but no one answered the call. Yesterday i tried calling that number again. A girl answered the call, without i even finished explaining, she hung up the phone. I tried calling the second time and the same girl answered,before i can even finished saying 'boleh saya bercakap dgn perkhidmatan pengguna or pelanggan, she for the second time hung up on me. Due to the need to report, i called the number..yes again, for the third time. This time, without even i could say anything..she just hung up. How rude is that. I still have the patience in me...bulan puasa katakan. Dengan sisa kesabaran, i called again. This time, another lady answered the call, she asked me to call 15454. Told her i have already called the number and the guy gave me this number. She later gave me TNB Shah Alam number to call and report. Called but no one answered, so i called TNB Bangsar again. I asked her if there is other number, sempatlah juga kata 'your careline gave me this number and you asked me to call that number balik. i have been calling this number 3 kali and the girl that answered the calls hung up on me. Mungkin lepas dengar i said that she tried to help me.

The TNB website, don't help much...plus 15454 careline sepatutnya ada unit that ambil report for bahagian tuntutan or CRO. get the needed details from the customer, process it internally and sent it to the respective branch or unit. Not forgeting the RUDE TNB worker yg hung up on me 3 times...tak ada manners langsung, pergilah kelas that teach telephone etiquette. sorrylah biah..tapi that girl memang overboard. geram betul.

Addition...

Talking about rudeness, this guy memang very rude. dahlah ambil hak cekya tanpa bagi credit to her, masih have the nerve to use vulgar words marah cekya. dia ingat dia duduk scotland tu, dia boleh berlagaklah. this is the type of people i call 'melayu mudah lupa'. susah sangat agaknya nak bagi credit kat orang. his ego is bruised, tu yang marah sangat...tapi suit him right sebab dahlah tak mintak permission tu satu, tak even give credit to cekya. i pun geram kat dia.


p/s :- still having very bad cough and sore throat.

ache..

this morning when i woke, certain parts of my body ache...rasa nak baring ajer. masa jawab exam pun rasa sakit. now dah okay sikit. am having sore throat and a mild cough. Baby semakin naughty sekarang...this time ajer dia tak kacau me using the laptop, if not dia pun sama sibuk nak menaip. :)Macam hilang idea nak bercerita...

Jangan Lepaskan AKu

Dirimu takut
Terjadi yang kau elak
Andai kelak
Kau tak bisa melepaskan aku
dari sanubarimu
Lalu...
Kau cuba lupa cintamu

Bersama kekuatan yang ada
Ke depan aku mara
Pertahankan yang ku mahu
Walau tidak bagimu
Agar satu hari dirimu mengerti
Kasih ku setulus, sepenuh hati
Lalu hadir kasihmu sekali lagi

Jangan lepaskan aku
Hatiku hanya milikmu
Tiada dua, tiada tiga
Hanya dirimu sahaja
Walaupun seketika cuma
Aku sudah cukup bahagia


P/S : Bagaimana aku harus menyakinkan dia kasihku seikhlas hati, ingin susah dan senang bersama. Berilah kesempatan itu.

Selamat Berpuasa untuk semua.

What Hurts The Most

i can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
that don’t bother me
i can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
i’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
even though going on with you gone still upsets me
there are days every now and again i pretend i’m ok
but that’s not what gets me

what hurts the most
was being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was tryin’ to do

it’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go
but i’m doin’ it
it’s hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i’m alone
still harder
getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
but i know if i could do it over
i would trade give away all the words that i saved in my heart
that i left unspoken

what hurts the most
is being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do

what hurts the most
is being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do

not seeing that loving you
that’s what i was trying to do

Hari Ini, Esok Dan Seterusnya

hari ini dadaku bergetar
terguncang memilu dan mengerang
ku yakin ku tak salah
karna hatiku tak pernah dan takkan berdusta

cinta cinta cinta
aku jatuh cinta

esoknya ku pikir rasa itu
akan menghilang dengan seiring waktu
namun ternyata tak berubah
aku makin tergiur pada dirimu

cinta cinta cinta
aku jatuh cinta

dan seterusnya rasa ini selalu terjadi
dan tak pernah berkurang
hatiku hanya untuk dirimu
aku bahagia hanya bila kamu bahagia

esoknya ku pikir rasa itu
akan menghilang dengan seiring waktu
namun ternyata tak berubah
aku makin tergiur pada dirimu

cinta cinta cinta
aku jatuh cinta

dan seterusnya rasa ini selalu terjadi
dan tak pernah berkurang
hatiku hanya untuk dirimu
aku bahagia hanya bila kamu bahagia

dan seterusnya rasa ini selalu terjadi
dan tak pernah berkurang
hatiku hanya untuk dirimu
aku bahagia hanya bila kamu bahagia

p/s : cekmi ~ thanks for the cd. love all the songs...this is one of my favourite apart from My Heart and Sampai Menutup Mata been listening to it. Am planning to watch the movie.

Anticipation of Baby..nervous vs excitement

i am feeling nervous and excited at the same time. i got my OPM presentation tomorrow...a group presentation. Apart from the lecturer evaluation, i will also be appraised my classmates. It is not so much about the evaluation but more afraid of being bombarded with questions from the lecturer and one particular person of the floor. Need to read the report over and over again..if i can't answer 100 percent right at least 85-90 percent correct. Last week, we started on a new subject , Managerial Decision Analysism (QMT). I did not attend the 1st class as my cousin wedding was on the same day. I read the handout and only able understand 5 percent of what i read.It was like reading without absorbing anything. Those who attended the class find it hard to understand, what more me who did not attend the class. My fellow classmate called it Quantitative Memang Teruk = QMT. What even worse, i just got to know from Aya last wednesday that we need to submit the first assignment on sunday...somehow my name was not in the mailing list and i did not get any of their emails. No one is able to do it yet..that is bad. Called a fellow colleague in HQ asking about QMT. He told me he did not understand a thing and decision tree is the most simpliest topic in QMT. Ouch. Even the simpliest one i can't understand, i wonder about the other topics.

Baby. She been given that name and that is the name i will be calling her. She is the new girl in town. The one i have been waiting for 4 months. I have been counting the days when i will meet her for the first time. it is just around the corner and i am waiting eagerly. Am so excited. Going to meet her this sunday. My Baby..my persian cat.

Me, Cekya, Cekmi, Tatot and Awan (hopefully ) will be meeting each other at Kampung Baru today. Cekmi...u will be our target as always. The topic of the day Cik Norkiah..Nokia.

sweet surprise

last nite i received unexpected sms. was caught by surprise. I sent sms to a friend few minutes before and i thought it was his reply. when i saw his name appearing, i was a bit stunned. he really knocked my socks off. i paused for a while absent-mindedly and looked back at the phone if i had read it wrongly. NO!!! i did not.

was happy and astonished at the same time. i haven't heard from him for such a long time. i did smsed him occassionally, but there were no reply. I even seek I_mshe's assistance to call his mobile which she did (thanks dear). Feeling dispaired, i ceased to sms him or call. Often enough i will be wondering about him and his condition. there are also times when i missed him so. we exchanged few sms until i wished him good nite. Alhamdulillah. It's great to know that he is not giving up.

Until now i still could not believe that he sms'ed me. i am in his thoughts after all. i pray it will not only be smses, that he will call me one day. I can just hope and pray, rite? What can't i feel the love i have for him? Does that means that i have now let it go? or it is still there just a matter of pulling a trigger to get it activated? or Allah is telling me that i am now ready to move on? i don't know. what i do know now is that i am happy with this sweet surprise and i longed to hear from him again. i miss him.

dearest..thanks. eventhough the smses were simple, it meant a lot to me.

can you wait?

am supposed to update on the Karambunai trip and pictures..later okay guess, kinda busy.

New Home

My blogsahabats have been complaining having difficulty visiting to my blog. Not only them, i am also have problem viewing my blog. For that reason, i now move here. Not mentioning the ever-ready-templates that are made available.

I am in a process of transfering all my previous postings here..it will take a while.

I WELCOME ALL OF YOU TO MY NEW HOME

lupakan

aku perlu bersabar dan perlu mengakui hakikat yang dia bukan lagi dia yang dulu. sebaiknya aku bertindak seperti cekya dan juga seperti rakan i_mshe. semudah itukah? jika itu yang terbaik untukku harus ku teruskan jua. persetankan persahabatan jika ia hanya mampu melukakan hati. terlalu emotional kah aku?

aku ada kalian semua..yang mampu membuatku tersenyum di kala duka. sudah cukup untukku.


HAM-BURGER - Slank
Sahabat datang dan pergi, kadang mengkhianati
Begitu pun rasa cinta, kadang mengecewakan
Kita punya harga diri, kadang terpendam di hati
Kita punya hati nurani, kadang tertimbun mati!!!

Ku tertawa walau hati kecewa
Ya kupaksa untuk tetap tertawa!!!
Ku bernyanyi walau hati menangis
Ya kucoba untuk terus bernyanyi!!!

Walau kau ikat tanganku, walau kau bungkam mulutku
Walau kau jegal langkahku, percuma!!!
Walau kau tutup mataku, walau kau kurung tubuhku
Tapi semua mimpi-mimpiku kan tetap ada!!!
Kita coba betulkan jalan kita bersama
Coba kita mencari jalan keluar
Jangan kau tunggu orang lain, jangan biarkan bangsa lain
Mencoba menekan hidup kita, bikin malu saja!!!

Ku tertawa walau hati kecewa
Ya kupaksa untuk tetap tertawa!!!
Ku bernyanyi walau hati menangis
Ya kucoba untuk terus bernyanyi!!!

Banyak orang curiga, ku bicara nggak ada yang percaya
Banyak orang menuduh bahkan anggapku gila!!!
Ku tertawa lebih keras, ku bernyanyi lebih lantang
Karena semua langkah dan mimpiku kan semakin gila!!!
Ku tertawa walau hati kecewa...
Ku bernyanyi walau hati menangis...
Ku tertawa walau hati kecewa
Ya kupaksa untuk tetap tertawa!!!

Ku bernyanyi walau hati menangis
Ya kucoba untuk terus bernyanyi!!!

back in kl

Happy Birthday Cekmi
Thanks for the giving me the opportunity to be one of the crew. Because of that i got to know the blogsahabats that have  such a wonderful people to me and has helped me a lot in my journey..that includes u too.

Guys..will tell you abt the trip in my next posting. Just reached home and visit all my blogsahabats' blog. Miss you guys.